


Strange Music

by AutumnTribe, DigitalDiva



Series: Seoul Pedestrian Traffic [1]
Category: B.A.P, Block B
Genre: Author collaboration, BAP underground group, Block B non-idol career peeps, Cross-band pairing, Epic Multi-Chapter, Fluff and Smut, M/M, No more shame!, Plot!, more RPS (shame shame shame), unconventional pairing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-06
Updated: 2016-08-10
Packaged: 2018-07-12 14:28:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 35
Words: 72,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7109125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AutumnTribe/pseuds/AutumnTribe, https://archiveofourown.org/users/DigitalDiva/pseuds/DigitalDiva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>-<br/>**And that was perfect.  Taeil was right where he fit best, in the circle of Junhong's arms**</p><p>AU, Block B and BAP...  The epic story of a college boy (Junhong) falling in love with his mentor, a complicated opera singer (Taeil).</p><p>---Now COMPLETE at 35 chapters---</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Changing it up

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for trying this unusual pairing. We hope you learn to love them as much as we do!

After three semesters at university studying music and dance, Junhong thought he knew basically what to expect from his classes. He'd become a pro where research, practice, and performance were concerned, and was always eager to see how his next project would change things up a bit and challenge him. When Byun sun-seng nim, the teacher of his vocal focus class, announced that they would be beginning a long-term collaborative project, he thought it might be a group production.

But, as it turned out, she had something completely different in mind. The day she'd promised to explain found the class lined up outside her office, waiting for individual meetings. Junhong wondered why she was handling a collaborative project so individually, but waited patiently until his turn. She smiled as he entered the tiny office, and he couldn't help smiling back.

"Are you nervous?" She gestured for him to sit.

"Should I be?" He settled in her tiny guest chair, feeling freakishly tall.

She seemed to know what he was thinking, and ignored his spoken words. "Seeing you in that chair reminds me how badly it needs to go. I'm sorry if you're uncomfortable. Please bear with me just a few minutes. Did any of the other students tell you what we're doing?"

"I didn't ask." He admitted. "They might give me the wrong idea and I'd be off to a weak start."

She nodded. "That's very wise. This is going to be the biggest project we undertake all semester, so I hope you keep the same level of good judgment and professionalism throughout. What we're going to do is to pair up with established mentors within the music industry. Your mentor will identify a few areas of opportunity in your skill set and help you to overcome your weaknesses. You'll be expected to document the process, provide weekly progress updates using advanced media, and present a final performance example of your growth."

Junhong smiled and nodded at his teacher, hoping like hell that she assigned him a good mentor. This kind of project would be torture if he was paired with someone who didn't work well with him. The teacher smiled back (the way they often do, secretive, so you can't tell if they're thinking, 'don't worry, it's good' or 'You're screwed, kid').

Junhong hoped this was an example of the first option.

Byun sun-seng nim flipped through a file of envelopes, locating one with his name on and passing it across her desk. "This has contact information and a few pictures of the mentor my colleagues and I picked for you."

Junhong accepted the envelope with both hands and bowed slightly. "Thank you."

"It's alright to open it right now." She urged. "I'll answer any questions you might have."

Very carefully, Junhong peeled back the paper edge and looked inside. There was a card, printed on heavy black stock with white hangul reading '리 태일' (Lee Taeil) over an email address and a telephone number. The name told him nothing, however. Junhong had never heard of a Lee Taeil in rap or popular music. He moved the card aside, reminding himself that their focuses in music might differ.

Behind the card card was a folded paper listing Taeil-ssi's noteworthy history and achievements as a musician. He was a graduate of a much more prestigious school, and had made himself known as one of the best tenors in the South Korean opera.

"Opera?" He couldn't help asking, even as he went on reading Taeil's specialties.

"That's right." His teacher intoned, patiently.

"He has perfect pitch and rhythm? Nice." However, Taeil's listed strengths had little to do with Junhong's focuses of dance, rap, and beatboxing. He set the paper aside.

Next, there were two photos. The first was taken during a performance, and even though it seemed ridiculous, the first thing Junhong noticed was how small Taeil's mouth looked in comparison to most opera singers. His white dress jacket and black silk shirt were par for the course, but the thick-rimmed glasses he wore looked like an affectation rather than an aid to his vision. The lack of reflection suggested they had no lenses.

The second photo was from some sort of gala, and confirmed Junhong's suspicions about Taeil's glasses. These also had no lenses, though the bright red frames were large and suggested a strong sense of personal style. They contrasted nicely with the midnight blue sweater and pewter leather jacket Taeil was wearing.

'Ah, hyung looks so cool!' Junhong thought as he stared at the pictures. Unfortunately, neither picture showed much emotion on his assigned mentor's face. He tried to determine what Taeil-ssi would be like, maybe polite and chill, or maybe cold and persistent. He would just have to wait and see. 

Someone knocked at the door and he quickly gathered the paper and card back into the envelope. Before he could leave, Byun sun-seng nim held up a finger.

He automatically looked around himself, to see if he'd dropped or forgotten anything. She sorted the envelopes in her file as she spoke, "Just so you know, Taeil-ssi is a truly talented artist, but he can also be very blunt. I've noticed that you tend to keep a positive outlook, and I hope that you can appreciate his honesty and drive, and that you won't squander this very unique opportunity should he seem a bit insulting."

"I'll do my best." Junhong promised, bowing quickly and slinging his bookbag over his shoulder as he left her office.

Several waiting students sent curious looks his way, but Junhong just smiled and shrugged, making his way out of the building. This was going to be something entirely new. He hoped that he and Taeil-ssi would get along.


	2. Distractions & Delays

Junhong had planned to call Taeil-ssi immediately after his classes were done for the day. However, a few minutes after he walked into his apartment, he got a call from one of his closest friends, Himchan.

"Hello, eomma! What's up?"

"Hey, Junie.. You said you weren't doing anything today, right? I really need a favour."

It was almost impossible to refuse Himchan-eomma. He always took such good care of Junhong and his friends, and rarely asked for help. Junhong looked at the envelope... He wanted to contact Taeil today...

"Uh... What kind of favour?" He hedged.

"I have a big multimedia project I'm assigning my junior classes." Himchan seemed not to notice. "I'd planned to present it on Friday, only, this week has been a mess and I haven't had time to make the example yet. ...so I was wondering if you and maybe Daehyun and Jonguppie could help me with it..."

"Uh, yeah, okay..." With four people working together, it was likely to be a quick diversion. He made up his mind to call his mentor afterward. "Your apartment right?"

"Yes. I'll serve dinner." Himchan laughed nervously. "Thank you so much Junie~ I don't know what I'd do without you guys!"

"No problem!" Dinner? Well, that call wasn't happening. Nobody wanted a mentee to call them after dinner. He promised himself that he'd contact Taeil-ssi the next day.

He didn't think about how detail-oriented Himchan could be. It turned out that the project was supposed to be extremely detailed, to showcase the unique characteristics of the traditional instruments each student had chosen, while holding their peers' attention.

Junhong remembered his high school projects being much less cool, though equally time consuming. He was already convinced that Himchan was superior to most other high school teachers, and this was another example why. In the end, it was the most informative, elegant, and interactive lesson Junhong had ever helped to make.

The pasta dinner was nothing special, but with Jongup and Daehyun at the table, it turned into much-needed fun. Himchan had music playing from the start, one of his horizon-opening mixes of everything from kpop to classical, complete with some obscure folk and underground gems he'd discovered.

Jongup shared a theory that had been bothering him - something about bioelectrical music and the harmony between living things that made no sense to Junhong, and Daehyun provided an endless commentary that kept the mood light. They didn't part ways until almost midnight, even though Himchan kept observing that they would all be miserable come morning.

The next day went as far from plan as the previous, thanks to the dedication of Yongguk, the leader of his friend group (and underground band), who made a last-second booking for them to play. Junhong couldn't even feel frustrated with the lack of notice, since the show was at a club frequented by successful rappers; something they'd previously feared was far beyond their level.

As if the tone of the next ten days had been set, similar instances continued to take up his afternoons and evenings and made it impossible to contact his assigned mentor.

When he finally had time, Junhong took the contact card from the envelope and looked it over, reading the email address and the number. He figured that calling would be his best bet.

He'd heard several of his classmates speaking about their meetings and their opinions of their mentors, and he suspected he was the only one who still had yet to connect. He dialled the number and anxiously listened to the tone.

"Hello?" The voice that answered was unexpectedly soft, almost overpowered by what he thought was the sound of a car's engine.

"Hi, uh... Is this Lee Taeil-ssi? From the Opera House?" He felt painfully awkward asking.

"Yeah, I guess I am." He thought Taeil sounded slightly annoyed. "Who's this?"

"Oh, well. My name is Choi Junhong and I'm a performing arts student. Byun sun-seng nim assigned you as my mentor..." He explained.

"Yeah?" Now Taeil definitely sounded annoyed. "I thought that assignment was supposed to start more than a week ago."

Junhong cringed unconsciously. "Um, yeah. It did..."

"It did. Right." Taeil sighed. "I figured she didn't use me. Huh. So what's the story? Don't like opera? A little disappointed? Didn't expect some Pavarotti-type to be your mentor, right?"

"No, no! It's not that I don't like opera, Taeil-ssi. A lot of things have come up over the last week and I've been kinda busy so haven't had the time to contact you." He explained as clearly as he could, but he was beginning to panic. He tried to sound extremely contrite. "I'm very sorry for the delay. I'm prepared to work hard to make up for it!" 

"Easy, kid. I understand. We're good." Junhong couldn't help but feel like he didn't really mean the part about them being "good". He thought he still heard an edge of irritation in Taeil's quiet voice.

"Okay... So, should we meet today? Or, when would be good for you?"  
He asked, trying to earn back a little of the respect he assumed he'd lost.

"Well, if nothing 'comes up' again today, sure." There it was. They were definitely not 'good'. "I'm sure I can make time for you."

"Oh, that's great! You're my only priority today." He tried to sound unflaggingly positive. "Where should I meet you?" 

"Let's see..." Junhong heard a turning signal ticking in the lull as Taeil considered. "Think you could make it to the Seoul Grand Park in an hour?"

He would, even if he had to beg a ride from a friend. "Yes. I'll be there."


	3. Meet them on their level

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bizarre first meeting at the Seoul Grand Park Zoo...

It turned out that almost all of his friends were at work, and the only one who wasn't was Jongup, who was as poor as he was and also had no car, but made several suggestions regarding bus routes that Junhong was certain were wrong and would only get him lost. So, he ended up having to rely on busses and the Internet to find the quickest way to Seoul Grand Park station.

He put effort into being early, and he succeeded, arriving fifteen minutes before the agreed meeting. However, when he looked around, he noticed what he thought might be Taeil, resting on a bench, his head leaned back, looking at the sky. He walked closer, observing.

The wool coat Taeil was wearing dwarfed him, and his motorcycle boots were a stark contrast to the pastel pink scarf wrapped around his neck. His jeans were faded and torn, but looked like the damage was by design. They looked like something Daehyun would wear to subtly 'show off' for one of his marketing clients while still being on-trend.

His oversized yellow sunglasses were the only clear tie to Taeil's wardrobe from the photographs. Junhong couldn't help feeling amused by them, and let himself smile openly, trying to be positive about getting started with his unusual mentor. "Hi, Taeil-ssi?"

Taeil turned his head, squinting at Junhong.

"I'm Choi Junhong from Byun sun-seng nim's class." He bowed awkwardly.

Taeil looked him over. Junhong thought he narrowed his eyes and was sure he caught an almost imperceptible shake of his head.  
"Choi Junhong, huh? Did you know that you smell like public transit and look out of breath? Are you going to be okay?"

Junhong couldn't tell wether he was being snarky with the last question or if he actually cared. Also, he couldn't help wondering what public transit smelled like? It sounded like something Jongup would ask and Himchan would somehow just know...

"Well, I came here on a bus, and then I jogged over to you, so..." He gestured. "But, yeah, I'm fine."

"Yeah, I was being rhetorical." Taeil yawned. "Do you think you're ready to dive in? Hell, can you dive into anything without hitting your head, being that you're some kind of baby giant?"

"Yes, let's get started! I can dive."  
He said, enthusiastically. After all, he really was glad they were actually getting started.

"The diving thing was a metaphor." Taeil rolled his eyes. "I like the enthusiasm, though. Come on, I already have our tickets." 

"Huh? Tickets? To what?" Junhong fumbled.

"Zoo." Taeil replied curtly, pointing in the direction of the zoo. He dug a hand (were his fingers tattooed? Junhong didn't know opera singers were allowed to have tattoos on their hands, let alone their fingers) into his pocket and stood, immediately striding away.

Despite his self-assured strut, the height difference between them was immediately apparent. It seemed that Taeil's mouth wasn't the only thing small about him. He was almost a foot shorter than Junhong. 

"Um...zoo? I thought we were going to start working on the project?" He decided not to talk about the height issue. Actually, now that he thought about it, Taeil had alluded to it. Bitterly.

Junhong followed him. The older man was surprisingly quick for having such short legs and carelessly spoke over his shoulder as he went, in the same soft voice as before. "This is officially my day off work, so... Yeah. Zoo. Think of it as... Well, maybe just relax and don't try to define this. We're already ten days behind on your project, so what's another, right?"

"Oh, okay..." Junhong really regretted that he'd waited ten days... Apparently Taeil was going to hold that against him. He felt guilty for the delay, again, and even worse for making his mentor meet him on his day off, which seemed to be an issue.

He wondered if it was that grudge that led Taeil to use the words 'relax' and 'good' in such an insincere way, or if that was just an unattractive aspect of his personality, along with his poorly hidden shame regarding his height. 

He pushed those thoughts aside as they walked through the zoo gates. Taeil gave their tickets to an admissions clerk and waved Junhong along behind him. "You hungry? I'm hungry. What do you want to eat? I'll buy you anything you want."

"Really?" Junhong was once again thrown off, but at least this was a pleasant surprise.

"Good god, would you stop with the 'really' stuff. I offered, so I meant it." Apparently Taeil was able to raise his voice at least a little when he wasn't singing, because he was loud enough to make several nearby zoo visitors stare at them.

Junhong hadn't noticed that 'really' was something he often said. "Oh, right. Sorry, Taeil-ssi..."

Taeil sighed again. "No, it's good." (Liar). "What do you wanna eat?"

Being offered anything he wanted was less pleasing than he would have thought. He didn't want to waste his mentor's money as well as his time. He looked toward the nearest food vendor. It wasn't healthy food, but Yongguk wasn't there to judge, and it smelled inviting. Taeil went with him and, surprisingly, bought everything he showed an interest in.

...Which left him trying to juggle food and eat as they wandered from habitat to habitat, gawking at animals. Taeil was stunningly unprofessional, doing his best (loudest) impressions of each animal's calls. Small children watched and giggled, their parents forbidding them from joining in.

Then Taeil suddenly grinned at Junhong. "Now, you do it. Seriously, they get lonely. You need to talk to them."

Junhong warily looked at a nearby family. He thought it was a bad idea, but he also felt he owed his mentor, so he leaned over the rail. "Hi animals. Don't be lonely. People come here all day to visit you." He felt oddly like Jongup.

"What was that even supposed to be?" Taeil snorted. "Those are penguins. They speak penguin. You need to meet them on their level."

Junhong dubiously eyed the dirty water. He hadn't felt so absurdly pressured since primary school. "What exactly is their level?"

He nearly leapt out of his skin when Taeil let out a horrible squawk. To his credit, it sounded enough like the penguins to confuse both the nearby children and the birds. "See!" Taeil gestured. "They understood that!"

Oh, boy. Junhong wished everyone else would move on to a different exhibit. He felt as if he was obligated to play along. It was honestly funny, and much better than their previous conversations, but at the same time it was socially unacceptable and humiliating. His parents would be disappointed in him.

He pulled a deep breath and squawked, though not as convincingly as Taeil had. Somehow that annoyed him and he immediately tried again, managing a very believable penguin sound.

"Nice!" Taeil cheered. He stole a stick of sweet bread from Junhong's snacks and bit off one end, gesturing for the squawking to continue.

Yeah, those were definately tattoos on his hands. Junhong tried to focus on that mystery rather than the ass he was making of himself. Maybe Taeil's background paper had left out a brief stint in jail? He could almost hear Himchan snarking.

Bizarrely, shouting animal sounds grew less embarrassing and more fun as the day went on. He reached the point of no shame and started enjoying the challenge of duplicating each call, so he eventually didn't hesitate when Taeil gestured.

It was hell on his throat, though, and the junk food was no help. It was a relief when they reached the aquarium, where few other people seemed to be, and where the animals were silent. Taeil's eyes followed the fish as he led the way, and he seemed regretful when he turned his back to the tank in front of them.

The room had good acoustic qualities, even with the aquarium noises. Taeil echoed beautifully when he spoke. "Hey. While nobody else is here, sing a song for me."

Junhong gaped. "What, now? Sing?"

"Yeah, sing." Taeil was instantly back to eye rolling. "You know, music. Sing something simple for me. A lullaby would do."

"I rap." He tried to sound upbeat, not argumentative.

"Good for you. I don't." Taeil gestured. "Grandmothers can sing. Little kids can sing. You're attending a big performing arts school. You can sing, right?"

Junhong hedged. "I can, but my focus is..."

"Rap. Yeah. Big deal." Taeil folded his arms. "I didn't ask about your focus. I asked you to sing - and I shouldn't need to argue with you about that."

"I wasn't trying to argue." Part of Junhong knew he was still arguing.

Taeil held up a hand. "Listen. Sing, or get a different mentor."

Junhong gestured in defeat. He felt indescribably awkward, wracking his brain for a song he could manage without any music, in a room full of bubbling and the whirring of filters. There weren't a wealth of short, simple songs that he knew perfectly outside the hip hop genre, but Taeil's comment about lullabies made him think of his mother's voice.

He started out quiet, as lullabies should be, and because he was unsure. 하늘나라 동화 (Story of the Sky) was short and pretty, and finished before he could get even more self conscious. He ducked his head slightly and cast a hopeful look at his mentor - a silent plea for mercy.

Taeil frowned. "Damn. That sucked."


	4. Not-so-sweet dreams

Junhong was in almost the opposite situation of what he'd experienced before. Instead of feeling anxious about delays and eager to get started, he didn't want to go to his second mentoring session at all. Taeil's assessment that his singing 'sucked' annoyed him more than he wanted to admit.

He internally debated the harsh assessment. Was he supposed to sound like a professional singer? Did Taeil think he could produce an amazing song after eating junk food and shouting animal sounds for hours? His throat had been sore just talking, he'd been surprised he could even hold a tune.

The most frustrating part was that it might have been indicative of Taeil's teaching style. How was he supposed to learn anything from his mentor without genuinely constructive criticism? Junhong understood that he'd grown spoiled by his wonderful professors and by Himchan; he really did. Most teachers fell far below them, but he didn't really consider 'that sucked' useful in any way.

His frustration kept tugging him back from sleep the night after the zoo meeting, and two days later it was still going strong. It woke him early in the morning, bogging him down with worries over session number two, and he couldn't hope to fall back asleep - even for just a little longer.

He tried to get relief by showering, figuring he needed to clean up anyway and it might ease his nerves. However, when he finished, he'd only achieved the cleanup part, and it was already late enough that Himchan would be at the highschool, getting ready for classes to start, which ruled out texting him for advice.

What was he supposed to do?  
He knew he was expected to meet Taeil at the Opera House this time, and worried it might be like walking into the lair of a bully. In this case, a bully given exclusive, short term power over his future. No music hall should make him feel so oppressed, especially not his 'mentor's place of work.

Taking into account Taeil's obvious requirement of extreme punctuality, he arranged to take the earliest bus to the Seoul Arts Center. When he'd planned his morning, his brain kept wandering back to Taeil's comment about smelling like public transit. What did that even mean? It still confused him.

It might have been a guess on Taeil's part. Seoul's busses ran on electricity, not gasoline. They shouldn't have a particular smell. Just in case, though, he wore cologne, hoping that if Taeil were to smell him again, he would smell good.

Junhong left his apartment early, in hopes of avoiding Seoul pedestrian traffic, so he was waiting at the first stop on the line long before the bus arrived. He thought he was off to good start, but during the twenty minute ride, his mind kept circling back to previous experience. Taeil had seemed to like him while they were acting like crazy people at the zoo, but by the end of the afternoon, he'd been insulting.

This time, Junhong arrived so early that the lamps were still lit, casting an amber glow on the stone walkways that circled the building. Although Junhong had heard it referred to as "the hat", the Opera House was actually very beautiful. He paused to take in the sweeping lines of its off-white stone exterior before testing the doors at the ultra-modern glass entry.

Inside, the opera theater was even more elegant than the facade, yet still as grand as the old opera houses he'd seen in pictures. As with the meeting at Seoul Grand Park, Taeil was already present. Junhong saw him sitting on the edge of the stage, talking to someone in the orchestra pit.

He was dressed far less casually than he had been for their last meeting, but his style still wasn't what most people would identify as 'professional'. It was difficult to tell if he was wearing skinny pants or leggings, but they were layered under a short black skirt and an overlong garnet-red knit shirt.

He had no hat on, but was sporting yet another pair of fake glasses (how many of those did he own, anyway?) These were wire frames, which reflected the bold lighting over the stage when Taeil looked up, watching Junhong approach.

"Well, look who's here." He called out, without much energy. How did this man sing opera? "Did you catch the early bus?"

"Yeah." Junhong decided to treat it as a real question, though he suspected it was meant as sarcasm. "I hope I don't smell like it this time."

The man in the pit gave them both a strange look and Taeil just raised his eyebrows, making it seem like the notion originated with Junhong. He gestured toward his companion. "Choi Junhong, meet Lee Minhyuk, one of the best pianists in Korea. Min agreed to work with me today."

Junhong bowed politely. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Minhyuk-ssi."

Minhyuk smiled, and the dimples that appeared beside his mouth made him look several years younger. He didn't have a chance to say anything, though, because Taeil started talking again and apparently Minhyuk was as polite as Taeil was rude. "Here's the plan for today. You get to sit right in the front of the audience, and I'm going to run through a performance practice."

"...audience?" Junhong looked at the empty theater. "Are other people coming?"

"Who knows?" Taeil stretched, as if he'd been waiting for hours, and clambered to his feet. His heavy industrial shoes were almost ridiculous with the rest of his outfit, but their thick soles made him seem a little taller, and that seemed to matter more than it should.

The red shirt helped, too. He was obvious, though slightly discordant with the ruby and gold decor. Junhong sighed, dropping into the indicated seat. Taeil stayed close to the edge of the stage as Minhyuk began to play.

Unlike most operas Junhong had heard, this began very softly. The tune was almost romantic, and combined with the dim lighting in most of the theater, it began to lull Junhong to sleep. He slumped slightly, long legs sticking out in the walkway, and didn't notice the warning look Taeil cast him.

What he did notice was how annoyed Taeil was when he shook him awake, having somehow teleported off the stage. "Seriously, kid?"

Confused and startled as he was, Junhong was oddly aware of Taeil's cologne. He couldn't even smell his own, but Taeil's was right in his face, strangely attractive, like his tight, heart shaped mouth. The same mouth that was muttering a string of profanities.

"You smell really good." He interrupted.

"What?" Taeil went silent, glaring at him with a little of what looked like angry awe in his eyes. "A more important question than how I smell is, how did I sound? Did you pick up on anything unusual that I did? Except, I know the answers are 'I don't know' and 'no', because you were snoring like a fucking steam train down here."

Junhong was too ashamed and upset to answer, so he sat quietly, staring at Taeil with wide eyes.

"I guess you stayed up late last night? Because, do you even know what time it is now?" Taeil continued ranting. "It's actually eleven. Yeah. You slept through four fucking hours of practice. Four. Those seats are not comfortable enough for a four goddamn hour nap, and though I know people sleep through my fucking performances all the time, they pay a hell of a lot of money for the privilege. I am not a cheap white-noise machine."

Junhong's shame only grew as Taeil spoke. He bowed as far as the chair (and Taeil in his face) allowed. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to fall asleep- I didn't realize I had!"

"You know what...?" Taeil gestured mutely for a moment, definitely not a good sign. When Himchan did that, it was time for a serious schooling. "Tell me the truth. In the time since you were assigned me, have you listened to a single goddamn thing I've recorded? Hmm? Did you bother to go out and borrow a fucking CD or even get on the Internet and watch a shitty free upload of one of my performances, just to get an idea of what kind of music I've made? No? Because your lack of effort toward this mentorship project is such bullshit it's starting to make me sick."

What did anyone say to something like that? Yongguk and Himchan would be groveling. Daehyun or Youngjae might pick a fight. Jongup would look helpless and keep his mouth shut. That was closest to how Junhong felt, but he knew he was expected to answer in some way.

"As I said before, I didn't really have time to-"

"Just Shut. the Fuck. up." Taeil snarled softly. Somehow, the fact that he had yet to even raise his voice made the entire exchange worse. "I'll help you with your time problems, Choi Junhong. Go home. You think time is tight for you? My time is worth a fuckton of money, and I don't really have any to spare, either."

With that, Taeil turned and walked around the orchestra pit, back toward the stage. 

Junhong raised his hands to cover his face and stood, stumbling slightly from a mix of leftover sleepiness and overwhelming shame. He thought it was safe to say that he'd just ruined this opportunity. His first feeling as he left the Opera House was guilt. It was his fault that he was late before, and he had no one but himself to blame for falling asleep. Overall, this was one big fail. 

As he walked back to the bus stop, though, his guilt and shame gradually transformed into wounded anger. Taeil could have been more understanding! His intentions could have been made more clear!

Now that he thought back, the whole zoo experience was a farce and the reason he fell asleep was that he couldn't sleep with all the stress and worry that Taeil had caused him. What kind of teacher was he? Junhong couldn't recall a single thing he'd been taught aside from animal noises! And, what if there weren't any more sessions?

Junhong's mind continued to run through this whole new cycle of stress throughout his bus ride and the short walk back to his apartment. He still had a full shift to work at the laundromat, and most days he honestly didn't mind his job, but in his current state of mind, he couldn't care less about having money for food. He just wanted to lay in bed all evening and browse the Internet.

Instead, he changed into his uniform shirt and turned off his mobile phone. Life would have to carry on, but he didn't want to talk to anyone about it.


	5. Get Lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's double-upload Sunday!
> 
> This one goes out to Strongheart17, for being so dedicated. Enjoy the softer side of Taeil.

Byun sun-seng nim had been giving him dubious looks all through class, and Junhong was certain Taeil had let her know that he was quitting his role as a mentor. He expected her to ask him to stay and talk when class was dismissed, but she announced that she wouldn't be offering office hours and immediately left the room. Only then did he think that it might be wise to discuss his options prior to failing her class.

...And that was when his mobile starting ringing. He was confused to see Taeil's name on the incoming ID. He accepted the call, despite his confusion. "Hello?"

"Hey." His voice was as soft as ever. "I hope you got enough sleep last night..."

Awkward. Junhong sounded sheepish, even to himself. "Yeah... I did."

"Good. Good." He sighed, sounding tired and totally incapable of the sheer bile he'd been throwing at Junhong the previous morning. "Great. I was thinking maybe we could meet this evening, since mornings are hard for you."

He'd always thought that movies overdid this kind of scene, but the hallelujah chorus actually began to play in his mind. He hadn't ruined everything! Taeil was being understanding! "Thank you so much, Taeil-ssi! That would be much better!"

"Okay, good." In the background, someone was speaking English, and from what he understood, it sounded like a rude story. Someone else laughed. The sound muffled, and he heard Taeil ask whoever it was to quiet down. "I know a place that would be helpful, a little recording studio... I'll text the address to you. Can you get to the north side by seven?"

That gave him three hours! He was elated. "Yes, that sounds great! Thank you!"

"It's no problem." Someone laughed again in the background, another man, but much lower voiced. "I'll see you then."

The call cut off immediately, and seconds later there was a text notification for the address. It was on a street he'd never heard of in a part of Seoul he had yet to visit. Junhong didn't dare procrastinate again. He began to research streets and, struggling to find the right area, hoped that three hours would be enough.

After texting his friends, he stopped at a little office where Yongguk was checking the accounting and enlisted his help to find the right address on a mobile map, then tried to figure out the best bus routes to get him there. Thankfully, there was an app he could download to his phone.

In the year and a half that Junhong had lived in Seoul, he hadn't needed to know many of the streets beyond his university. Most of the time, he would either be guided through bus routes by Youngjae or driven places by Himchan or Yongguk. The app made it easier to find a promising bus route and he even looked up a backup route, just in case the world decided to spite him again. 

Feeling encouraged, Junhong made a brief detour to eat a small dinner and figured he'd still be okay. He went home and put on cologne again, because even though he doubted that Taeil noticed it last time, at least his scent wasn't included in the verbal attack he'd suffered. Besides, for some reason he wanted to smell nice around Taeil-ssi. 

Since the studio where he was supposed to meet Taeil was at the opposite end of Seoul, he left an hour and a half early. The first bus he planned to catch was on time and not too crowded, and he settled in with his phone in hand, with both the mobile map and the bussing app activated.

The line was eventually supposed to come within a few blocks of his destination. Miles before it became necessary, Junhong began following along with the bus's progress as street signs passed outside his window. Such obsessive vigilance put his nerves on edge, but he was sure he'd feel worse if he didn't track his location.

An older gentlemen sat across the bus, watching him with kindhearted amusement, and he couldn't help wondering how his anxiety could seem funny. That was when he began to listen to the girls sitting behind him, giggling and chatting amongst themselves about the alluring idea of having a college-aged boyfriend fuss as he came to meet them.

His attention shifted back to his location when the bus veered noticeably west, and he had to unlock his phone and reset the map. When it refreshed, he saw that he was already at least four stops too far west. Shit. He quickly signalled for a stop and reactivated the bussing app, glad to have researched a backup route.

Annoyingly, the app showed a new alert regarding the realignment of a few northern routes, including the one he was using. He hopped off the bus as soon as the doors opened and looked up and down the street for the bus stop that was supposed to be close by. Locating it, he ran to the large sign that listed bus routes and numbers.

Despite the cold weather, Junhong felt overheated in his down coat from the sudden burst of physical exertion. He loosened his light green scarf and a puff of steam blurred his view of the route listings, which he was comparing to the app.

He had only moments to check the posted listings before another bus arrived and he hastily checked it's number before boarding. Once again, Junhong followed along on his phone. It was a good thing he did too, since not before long, he found the bus going too far East. He signalled for a stop again and leapt off.

The temperature was rapidly dropping with the sun down, and he began to genuinely worry that he'd be late, and Taeil-ssi would be angry and yell, or worse, rant and swear at him again. He ran to the next bus stop and looked at the routes more carefully this time, confirming his best option while waiting for a third bus. He checked the time, 6:47. Only 13 minutes left. He definitely wouldn't be early.

Junhong waited... And waited.... Had he mistaken his stop? He turned to look at the sign again. No... He was at the right stop... This couldn't be happening! Except, it was. All of his stress and worry was coming back, with interest. He'd been lucky to have Taeil forgive him for falling asleep. He doubted he'd be so lucky again.

Another 8 minutes passed before Junhong's chosen bus arrived, and he boarded and found a place to stand amongst the crowd as fast as he could. He fidgeted nervously with his phone, watching 7:00 appear and pass.

He looked out the window across from him and saw a stop go by that he remembered from the first bus. He signalled for a stop for the third time and got off, bracing himself for a hike. It seemed that walking would be easier and possibly even quicker at this point.

Frustratingly, when he walked down the road he was currently on, he found what seemed to be the right road fairly quickly. Annoyed as he was with the wasted time, Junhong regained a small bit of hope. He was already late, but only by five minutes. He might actually get there before Taeil's wait was unreasonable.

Unfortunately, in the dark, it took him several minutes of walking to find another readable street sign. Checking it for reassurance, he discovered that although it showed the correct street name, printed above it in smaller characters read '남부의' (south).

South? The address he was looking for was on the north end of what should be the same street. What really baffled him was how a street could be 'south' in the northernmost part of Seoul. He struggled with confusion but continued following the street in hopes that it would eventually become north. 

As Junhong hoped, it did become north, but only after what felt like an unreasonably long walk. His legs were tired, even with the amount of dancing he was accustomed to, and his hopes were running very low again. He was too anxious to check the time anymore and his anxiety redoubled when he saw a figure in a hat and familiar coat, waiting outside what might be a small studio. 

The faint lamplight was just enough to positively identify Taeil, perched on the top of a low concrete wall, his back to the dank brick of the nondescript building. He looked smaller than ever in his big wool coat, and terribly cold, if the pink tint of his nose and ears was a reliable indicator.

He'd taken his fake glasses off and was passing them between his tattooed fingers, folding and unfolding them nervously. His mouth was moving, the timing suggesting that he might be singing under his breath, but his mouth closed and he tucked the glasses away in the pocket of his coat when he noticed Junhong.

He tugged at one overlong sleeve and examined his watch, sucking his bottom lip between his teeth. It might have been a trick of light, but his eyes looked suspiciously damp when he raised them. His voice was so tiny Junhong had to strain to hear.

"Oh, there you are... But, it's 8:12..." He sniffed, looking from the watch to Junhong, then toward the building. All of its windows were dark, and a security gate was closed over its door.

Junhong opened his mouth, wanting to explain.

"Just..." Taeil shook his head; closed his eyes. He inhaled deeply, voice hitching as he exhaled. "Just forget it, Junhong. It's too late now. You shouldn't have even wasted your time on this. Just go home."


	6. Last Chance

"Himchan, I think he was crying!"

It had been two days since his failed attempt at a third session, and Junhong had reached so critical a point in his stress overload that he'd called a meeting with both Yongguk and Himchan. The discussion at hand was primarily about how he felt his life going down the toilet, and how he was pretty sure it was his own hand on the flusher.

Himchan's eyes narrowed. "Just how old is this guy? He cried because you were late?"

"Yeah, but, I was more than an hour late. It was dark, and cold, and he went out of his way to wait for me..." Junhong stared at the floor as he spoke. "He looked so small and delicate and like he just needed someone to love him... Or something like that anyway, I guess caring would work too."

"If he's feeling a lack of love or care in his life, it's because he's been so mean." Himchan reasoned. "Also, he's supposed to be a professional opera singer and your mentor, he shouldn't be sitting in the cold at night and crying."

Junhong looked back up at his friends and made a mute gesture.  
"I know... But, it was so... Unexpected. Before I saw him like that, I thought he liked to yell at me, but he just looked so disappointed... Then he told me to go home and I felt worse than ever."

"That's because when someone yells at you, your defences come up." Yongguk brought drinks for all of them and sat down on the couch beside Himchan, focusing his attention on Junhong. "It's a lot harder to deal with a situation where you feel like you've hurt someone's feelings."

"But that's beside the point, Bbang. Junie shouldn't need to worry about hurting this man's feelings." Himchan always looked at such things from the point of view of a teacher. "We're talking about his mentor. This guy should be acting like an adult, putting aside his problems, and teaching Junie. So far he isn't, and it makes me mad."

"I know, Channie, and I agree that he has a job he isn't doing." Yongguk squeezed Himchan's knee. "I'm just answering Junhong's question."

"The question is irrelevant to the true issue at hand." Himchan insisted. He turned back to Junhong. "What matters is that you need to be able to learn from this guy, and that means understanding his agenda. As a teacher, I hate to admit this, but everyone has an agenda, educators included. You need to understand his agenda and teaching style if you hope to ever benefit from having him for your mentor."

Junhong looked between them as he spoke. "I honestly have no idea what his style is. It's kinda all over the place. I know that I started off badly, but I feel like he just wants all of my attention and might not even know what to do with it. It's like I'm a stupid adult and he's a genius kid."

Himchan looked thoughtful as he took a sip of coffee. "You might actually be right. Not about the 'kid and adult' part, of course, you are definitely a kid. But maybe your attention is all he's looking for." 

That would explain a lot, now that Junhong thought about it. "Ugh... It is my fault..."

His phone buzzed and he lifted it from where it sat face down on the small table next to him. As if on cue, there was a text from Taeil.

[LeeT 2:01pm: Opera House in one hour. Last chance.]

His eyes widened as he looked back up at Yongguk and Himchan. "Could one of you drive me to the Opera House? He's giving me another chance but I have to be there in an hour." 

Yongguk patted Himchan's thigh before getting up. "I'll drive. We both know how much Channie hates going out when it's this cold."

Junhong bowed quickly. "Thank you hyung!"

They hastily pulled on their coats, Himchan making last-second alterations to Junhong's hair and the arrangement of his scarf as Yongguk fetched his wallet and keys. Then they hurried out, Yongguk laughing as they descended to the ground floor, both of them knowing that Himchan was probably washing Yongguk's few dirty dishes.

"I should never leave him alone at my flat." Yongguk remotely started and unlocked his car from the second floor landing, so it was already thawing when they climbed inside. "Do you need to stop at your place? Is there anything you need to bring?"

"I'm not worried about any of that." Junhong jittered. "I just can't be late this time."

Miraculously, traffic was on their side. Yongguk's pervasive calm made him a very pleasant driver and companion, and his few comments were always thoughtful, steady, and delivered in his low, soothing voice. The drive was like a spa visit compared to enduring a bus.

They reached the Arts Center in record time, and Yongguk automatically pulled into the car park rather than leaving Junhong at the bus stop. He circled around to the side of the Opera House. "Does it matter where I drop you off?"

"Uh, I don't think so..." Junhong fidgeted nervously, craning to see the doors and the layout of the building from this new angle. There were exterior stairs leading to his usual entry. "This should be okay."

Though considered a desirable model, Yongguk's car was a bit small and low-suspended to make exiting easy for someone as tall as Junhong. He waved behind him as he ducked out the door, then jogged across the stone walkway and started down the stairs.

Before he reached the second flight of stairs, he was surprised to see Taeil below, hands in the pockets of his coat and face mostly hidden by big sunglasses and an oversized hat. He was absently pondering his mentor's fixation with oversized things when he struck a patch of damp ice. Unprepared as he was, there was no recovering his footing. He hit his back painfully and slid the rest of the way down, bumping his hip, shoulders, and head repeatedly until he came to a stop at Taeil's feet.

He barely had the chance to register the way Taeil held himself stiff, hands clasped in the collar of his stupid, big wool coat, when he saw his mentor duck his head, gasp... and start laughing.

Junhong inhaled sharply and pressed one hand to his hip, the other to the back of his head. Neither seemed seriously damaged, but both throbbed and were painful to touch, thanks to his fall. He was more embarrassed and annoyed than anything else, and he forced himself to his feet quicker than he probably should, scowling at Taeil.

Even with the thick soles on Taeil's industrial boots, the height difference was still substantial. Junhong knew it was an issue for his mentor, and didn't hesitate to tower over him. "How is anything that just happened to me funny?"

Taeil flinched, staring up at him. He stopped laughing, but his eyes were still creased at the corners, his expression a bizarre mix of fear and amusement.

"I've tried so hard to be good enough for you to take me seriously... I mean, know I messed up at the beginning, I should have found time to call you sooner and I definitely would have, even if it meant going without sleeping or eating, if I had known I'd be punished for my mistake for weeks!" He saw Taeil's face smooth out, but he was on a role, now. There was no stopping.

"I'm well aware of the fact that this mentoring project could be a great opportunity, but only if you're actually willing to help me grow! From what I can see, you just like to judge me and laugh every time I fall, originally metaphorically but now literally. I might be a spoiled kid, but I'm pretty sure teachers and mentors are supposed to support their students!"

"But not you. Both you and this stupid huge city seem determined to ruin my chances, starting with helping me along to failing my Vocal class, which I can't graduate without! I don't know what else I'm supposed to do! I've tried so many things and nothing has worked!"

"I'm not even going to start on everything that was wrong and unfair about the whole stupid zoo thing, but after that I couldn't sleep because I was so stressed, which was thanks to you, by the way. Then, literally three damn busses fail me while I'm trying to get to your super secret studio and I had to walk for an hour in the cold just to be sent home by you! I've never even been to that part of Seoul!"

"When I first saw your pictures I thought you looked so cool! Honestly, I still do! But, it's obviously too much to ask for you to even try to understand me! Meanwhile I'm still trying to respect you even though you're mean and disorganized, and I'm probably going to fail this class because I haven't really gotten anything done and- and- yelling at you is definitely not going to help me at all..." His voice trailed off as he ran out of anger, and he slumped back a little and looked at the ground.

Silence hung between them. When he finally dared to look at his mentor, Taeil's mouth was pressed tightly closed, and he looked as uncomfortable and awkward as Junhong felt. He looked up, meeting Junhong's eyes. "Okay. I appreciate you telling me all of that."

Appreciate? Junhong scuffed his shoe against the stone, nervously. "I'm sorry. That was really rude, and I shouldn't have yelled."

"No. It's good." Taeil sighed. It was impossible to tell if this was a sincere 'good' or a placating 'good'. "Really, that was the first time you've said anything honest to me."

"Ah... I don't know how to make honesty polite." Junhong admitted.

"Yeah, cuz I'm the paragon of polite." Taeil snorted.

"You're my mentor." Junhong explained. "Students are supposed to be polite to teachers and mentors."

"You seem to do a shit ton of 'supposed to'." Taeil observed. "In my life, I've noticed that kind of thing gets you to the same places other people go. Little flat, bus tickets, boring wife. Not a great option for an artist. We're the kind who either catch fire or burn away. We don't spend a lot of time on 'supposed to'. Besides, if you and I worry about polite, you'll never know what I really think."

Taeil watched him for reaction. It was a bold little speech, but his expression was guarded. He continued. "That is, if you want to know what I really think. I'm sorry about laughing, though. That was a stress eruption on my part."

"I do... That is, I want to know what you really think. How can I learn, otherwise?" Junhong kept fidgeting. It was all he could do to maintain eye contact. In the aftermath of his explosion, he felt jittery and worn out. "I guess you have a point about what people are 'supposed to' do... I want to be a great artist, I just don't want to be rude or... I don't want to make people uncomfortable."

Taeil stared at him, as if he was a conundrum. "Sure. You're not asking much of yourself there. But, I do understand. I used to feel that way, too. Part of me still does, believe it or not. Like, I want you to succeed. I want you to take this shit seriously, and you've had me at my wit's actual end because you don't seem to. I can't guess what's going on... So you have to have the courage to say, wait a minute! Explain to your stressed-out... Uh, mentor...that you had bus issues and you aren't a local and..."

He stopped; frowned; shook his head. "Okay. Where do you live?"

Junhong felt he'd missed something. "What? Why?"

"This might come as a big surprise, but I make enough money to own a car." Taeil smiled, as if silently laughing at his own humor. "Transportation is your kryptonite, but I'm a lot more helpful than Lois or Jimmy. I don't mind picking you up and dropping you off for our meetings."

Junhong couldn't help smiling at the superman reference, as well as the offer. "You don't have to do so much for me."

"Yes, I obviously do." Taeil declared. "Or, I can waste my life waiting for you. This is easier for both of us. Say thank you."

Junhong bowed as deeply as his aching hip would allow. "Thank you, hyung."

"Yeah, who said you could call me hyung?" Was Taeil teasing? He looked playful as he pushed Junhong toward the doors. "Just Taeil, okay? I'm not picky about honorifics. Now... Have you looked up any of my performances yet?"

Just when things were getting comfortable. Shame returned, heavy enough to slump his shoulders. "....no."

"Jesus, you fail." Taeil sounded much less angry than would be expected. He laughed awkwardly. "Definitely not an opera fan, but don't worry, I hadn't planned to teach you opera."


	7. Tell me where to go

They ended up in the Opera Theater again, without an accompanist. Taeil led the way to the orchestra pit, and they both approached the piano. Taeil stripped off his coat, hat, and glasses, folding the coat over one end of the piano bench. "Here. You probably bruised your butt falling down the stairs. This should be less uncomfortable."

"Ah, I'm okay. Thank you though..." Junhong carefully lifted Taeil's coat from the bench (that thing was an Armani?) and laid his own in its place. Taeil's coat smelled strongly of the same expensive cologne he'd been wearing the last time they were in the opera house. He offered it back, using both hands.

"Your parents really stressed the importance of manners, didn't they?" Taeil took his coat and tossed it aside, vaguely toward where he'd dropped his hat. He waited until Junhong was seated and sat at the center of the bench, but didn't raise the key guard. "Okay. When I listened to you sing at the aquarium, I noticed a few things right away. First, kudos to you for producing a tune at all following the torture I put your throat through. Small round of applause."

Taeil clapped, the sound muffled by the overlong sleeves of his grey button down. Junhong smiled, both from the compliment and the amusement provided by Taeil actually clapping.

"Now, the important bits. You have very good diction. Even with the filters going, I understood all of the lyrics. Also, I'm convinced that your voice is powerful. You could probably get away with doing a show without a mic - which most people can't." Taeil folded one of his sleeves around his hand as he spoke, and kept twisting toward Junhong on the bench, then back away from him. "The places you seem to need work are in pitch clarity and mood. You were a little flat on some of your low notes, though you never went sharp. That's easy to fix. But, we should really work on building mood. What you sang was a lullaby. You presented it like a fighting song. No feeling, just determination."

"Right, I see." Junhong pursed his lips as he listened. "So, mood and pitch primarily." 

"Primarily, yeah." The nervous shifting continued, and Taeil pulled one leg up onto the piano bench, his industrial shoe directly on the lacquer, wrapping his arm around his knee. "The song you picked didn't have a lot of note transition, and it's range was extremely limited, so I don't know if you have those things under control. We should work on them, too, just to be sure they aren't a weakness."

"Oh, okay." His eyes trailed up Taeil's leg, following the inseam of his close-fitting white pants. Junhong forced himself to focus. "That makes sense."

"Good." Taeil looked from Junhong's face to his own leg. He turned back toward the piano, resuming a normal sitting position. "I think the best way to start addressing the issues is to demonstrate the right way, then talk about how it's done. Don't fall asleep on me, but I'm going to run through a few verses of a song where mood is absolutely vital. It isn't opera, so it shouldn't be too painful..."

He finally uncovered the keys and cleared his throat before he began playing. The song was slow, almost mournful, and when Taeil sang, he was communicating pure loneliness. It was something he knew Daehyun or Youngjae could do, now that he was hearing it demonstrated, but Taeil's voice...

He paused. "See what I did there?"

Junhong nodded. "Yeah, it was definitely sad... That was really good!"

Taeil shook his head, though he was obviously fighting a smile. "But, why was it good? Hopefully because I sounded like loneliness was killing me. The speaker in that musical thinks he's going to die in a foreign land, without ever seeing his true love again. Songs are like lines in a play. It's better to have your voice crack or to sob than to deliver a sad song with no feeling."

"Actually..." His sleeves got in his way as he started playing again, and he paused to adjust them, keeping the cuffs just far enough over his hands to hide the first knuckles of his fingers. He played a line from a very familiar, very ornery trot. "Do you know this? Sing it."

Junhong nodded. "Okay..." Since he knew the song and it was more his style, he managed to produce a pretty good rendition of the verse Taeil played. When he finished, he smiled and looked back at Taeil for feedback.

"Yeah! Good!" Taeil had to stop again, folding his sleeves into place. "You like trot?"

"Yeah, I do. One of my friends is a music teacher and he always says that rap couldn't exist in Korea without trot at its roots..." He watched Taeil adjust his sleeves. Even though he was too poor to afford custom clothing, he had listened to Himchan's advice and located a tailor during his first semester at university. With his tall, lean build, his only other option would be to wear all of his clothes either too short or too baggy. "Hey, uh, I know a tailor... She's really good, and I think she could fix your sleeves pretty easily..."

Taeil froze. He stared at his sleeves for a moment as a pinkish flush spread up his neck and over the cute, almost-pointed tops of his ears. "Oh. No... Part of the reason I buy all my shirts this size is the length of the sleeves. It's..."

He made a face, then turned toward Junhong. "I made a deal with my 'boss', here at the opera. They don't stop me from getting any tattoo I want, and I can keep performing, as long as none of the ink ever shows while I'm working. It's just something weird about me. I... Really like tattoos. There's something kinda ritual about them..." He paused. "This is so off topic. Sorry."

"No, I guess that makes sense." He looked down at Taeil's sleeve-covered hands again. "It's just that, from what I saw, I thought your tattoos actually looked really cool..." 

"Yeah?" Taeil lifted a sleeve, smiling at the ornate mythical demon drawn on the back of his hand. "Thanks. A lot of people think they're unprofessional, or something like that... But, back on topic. Let's work on pitch a little. Can you sing middle C without a reference?"

"I don't think so. I'm pretty sure I can get close, but not exactly."

Vague disappointment flickered across Taeil's face, quickly replaced by calm. "Oh, that's normal. No problem. Tell you what, we'll play a game. It'll be helpful, I promise. I'll play a series of notes, you reproduce them as exactly as you can. Okay?"

"Okay." Junhong had seen Daehyun do this sort of thing multiple times and was pretty good when it came to duplicating sounds anyway.

As expected, the next hour of work was fun and achievable, though Taeil forced him to work for it. Some of the note sequences he played featured massive transitions. On the occasion that he went flat, Taeil sang the notes back at him, perfected. It was after dinner time when he stopped and closed the key guard.

"I think that's enough for today. We're way behind schedule, but overtaxing your vocal chords won't help anything in the long run. This was what I planned to do during our second meeting, if you hadn't been so tired from worrying about sucking." Taeil smirked at Junhong before scooting off the bench and fetching his coat and hat. "Come on. I'll drive you home."

Junhong smiled awkwardly before standing and pulling on his own coat. "Thanks, I really appreciate it."

"It's my pleasure." Taeil insisted, and he sounded completely serious. He led Junhong out a different exit from what he usually used, leading him through the upstairs lobby. He reached out as they passed a series of floral arrangements and hastily pulled a big, colorful flower loose, carrying it out to the car park with him.

By the time they reached his car, Taeil had the flower tucked between his ear and his hat. He dropped into the driver's seat and watched as Junhong sat at his side. The passenger seat was already pushed back to accommodate a tall man, so it was more comfortable than getting into Yongguk's or Himchan's cars.

A miniature figurine of Levi from Shingeki no Kyojin hung from the rear-view mirror, and a massive plush monkey dominated the back seat, but otherwise, Taeil's BMW was perfectly clean. There was no visible air freshener, but it still smelled inviting. They were at the exit of the car park when Junhong recognized the scent as a mix of Taeil's cologne and another.

"Tell me where to go." Taeil reached for the radio and laughed, turning on a satellite channel featuring classical music, old and complex, on piano and strings. "You know, not the insulting way, but directions."

Junhong laughed as he realised what Taeil was implying. "Right, I figured that's what you meant."

The drive went easily. Traffic was light, Junhong remembered all the correct turns, the music was good, and it was easy to watch Taeil without his notice. He had a way of sticking the tip of his tongue between his teeth when he was focused that was unexplainably cute, and clearly unconscious. He was also a savvy - if slightly risky - driver.

He pulled into a parking space on the street below Junhong's apartment and was out of the car before it was understood that it wouldn't be a simple drop-off. By the time Junhong realized Taeil wasn't leaving, they were walking into his apartment building.

"Don't worry, this isn't an inspection or anything." Taeil explained as they climbed the stairs. "I don't honestly know any tricks for making a home more conducive to being a successful musician. I'm pretty sure there's no such thing. I just realized that we haven't planned our next meeting yet, and I thought we could do that while you walk up. It's too cold to stand around outside, and people who hang around in cars on the street look so douchey."

"Ah, right...okay." Junhong made sure to match Taeil's pace, leading by just a step. "How about tomorrow afternoon? Two maybe?"

"Let me see." They had reached Junhong's door. Taeil almost tripped when they stopped, distracted as he was by tapping at his mobile. He laughed when they collided, pulling back casually without putting the device away. "Sorry... He isn't answering yet. Usually he reads his texts the second they arrive. This is weird. Oh. There."

He tapped a bit more, then tucked his mobile into his coat pocket. "Two is perfect. The studio is available for us, so I want to get you in there this time. You might be surprised by how helpful it is to record yourself at intervals when you're working on something."

For a moment, they stood staring at each other, neither speaking. Taeil glanced away first, visibly nervous, the tip of his tongue in the corner of his mouth. He nodded, too dramatically, and plucked the flower from his ear. It's stem fit into the breast pocket of Junhong's coat without even opening the zipper. "Yeah. So, I'll be here a little before two.... Cool? Okay. See ya."

Junhong unlocked his apartment and lingered at the doorway as Taeil turned and started to walk away. He didn't close his door until Taeil was more than twenty feet down the hall, and when he did, he felt oddly disappointed, even though the afternoon had gone so well.

He toed off his shoes and hung up his coat, then crossed the living room, pushing aside the blinds and finding Taeil's car below. After a few more minutes, Taeil came into view. He walked to his parking space and stopped, looking up at the building for a moment before shaking his head and disappearing into the car.

Once the BMW was too far down the road to see, Junhong slumped into his couch. As he turned on his television and his xbox, he considered what might have made him feel so disappointed. Across the room, the flower from the opera house was a spot of unusually vibrant pink on the surface of his coat.

At its close, his time with Taeil had felt exactly as he imagined a date might. He wished it had ended differently...


	8. Small, but very not-cute

He should have expected Taeil to be early, but when his doorbell rang at 1:42 on Tuesday, Junhong was just beginning to get ready. He shrugged into a fresh tee shirt and went to the door, hair still wild and curling. Taeil smiled and waved a hand when he opened the door. 

The first thing Junhong noticed was that, under his fedora, behind another pair of decorative glasses, Taeil was wearing eyeliner. He'd also switched coats for a slim-fitting leather jacket. He raised his eyebrows as Junhong stared, rising up on his toes. "Hey. You don't look ready yet."

"Uh, yeah... Sorry. Come in..." Junhong gestured as he held the door open. "I was just getting ready so I might take a minute... Feel free to sit anywhere." He was instantly glad that he kept his apartment clean.

Taeil followed him as far as the couch and perched on its arm, one foot on the ground and the other swinging slightly. "That's cool. I know I'm early. No big rush."

"Okay." Junhong smiled. He turned to the mirror that sat on top of his desk, and attempted to tame his hair.

Taeil lingered in the background of his reflection, swinging both of his legs as he watched. The light kept catching on his shins and feet, flashing off the shiny leather of his pants and the white tops of his shoes. They looked like something a doll might wear, vaguely reminiscent of Victorian children's shoes.

Junhong's smile grew. "You know, Taeil, you're very cute for your age..."

Taeil gave him a stern look. "You don't even know my age, unless you googled it, yet you dare to call me cute?"

The effect was ruined when he propped his elbows on his knees and tucked his hands under his chin, giggling to himself. "Seriously, though. What did you eat for lunch?"

Junhong paused. "Uh... I haven't eaten lunch. I guess I forgot?" He shrugged, going back to combing out his not quite satisfactory hair.

"Wow. That's so bad for you." Yongguk and Himchan told him the same thing, often. Taeil unzipped his jacket and retrieved his wallet from the breast pocket of his black and red, two-tone button down. He peeked inside it, as if he had no idea how much cash he was carrying. "Okay. Let's stop and get something."

"Okay... Thank you!" Junhong was actually thankful for the offer but couldn't help worrying that the date vibe might set in again. He quickly ran a hand through his hair as a finishing touch and picked up his coat from where he had hung it up the previous night. After slipping on his shoes and putting on his coat, he turned back to Taeil. "I'm ready to go. Sorry for taking so long..."

Taeil hopped off the arm of the couch and started toward the door, but stopped when he caught sight of the flower from the previous day, now in a cup of water. He smiled softly, his necklace clinking against the cup as he leaned down to smell it. "This is one of my favorite flowers. I'm glad you put it in water. I wasn't going home when I left, so..."

Junhong couldn't help but wonder where Taeil had gone. The night hadn't exactly ended comfortably. He kept his questions to himself, however, when they reached Taeil's car, the scent of the unfamiliar cologne was far stronger even than Taeil's. It was as if someone had just been sitting there, putting on cologne while riding in the car.

The seat was even warm. Taeil seemed preoccupied as he started the car and began driving, leaving Junhong to entertain himself. Looking around the car, he saw that the plush monkey was gone, but a very expensive-looking gentleman's gold bracelet had been left in one of the cup holders on the console.

It would be too awkward to ask after the changes, but the atmosphere was suddenly inexplicably tense. Junhong tried to lighten the heaviness, even if only to refocus on the basics. "Um... Where were you thinking of stopping for food?"

Taeil glanced his way, his eyes flicking between Junhong and the bracelet for a second. "Oh. It's a little cafe that belongs to a friend. The food is kinda western, but it's good... We're almost there, actually."

"Okay. Sounds good." Junhong smiled, trying to avoid looking at the bracelet. It seemed to make Taeil uncomfortable just by being there, and he wondered where it came from. It didn't quite seem like something Taeil would wear... Junhong looked down at his hands, trying not to be too awkward.

If Taeil noticed his struggle, he let it go without a comment and kept quiet until he slowed the car, pointing out the window. The cafe was chic, decorated to imitate a European bistro. Taeil found a parking spot and led the way inside, chatted briefly with the host on duty, and they were swiftly provided a small booth in a far corner. The bench was curved, a single unit that allowed Taeil to push too close, his leather-clad thigh against Junhong's knee.

Their waitress arrived before they could even remove their coats, and Taeil ordered without looking at a menu or discussing anything. The girl walked away, unsurprised, and was soon back with a pot of hot tea and two cups. Taeil rolled his head to one side, as if his neck was sore, and stole a glance at Junhong. Sitting so close, it was obvious that some of the *wrong* cologne was on Taeil. "We can share. That way you can eat what you like and I'll finish the rest."

Junhong didn't particularly mind the lack of personal space or the idea of sharing food, especially since both were ordinary aspects of his friends' company. The ever present (as it seemed) foreign cologne continued to put him off. It was impossible to ignore now that it was literally in his face, being that it was on Taeil and he was sitting so close. Never the less, he attempted casual conversation. "If the names of the dishes you ordered are anything to go from, they sound good."

Taeil poured the tea for both of them, looking a bit more relaxed. He thanked the waitress when she brought them a large bowl of soup, a plate of sandwich wedges, and an assortment of stuffed mushrooms. As she left, Taeil picked up a mushroom with his fingers and pushed it toward Junhong's mouth. "Try this."

And that set the pace for their lunch. Although Junhong's friends would share food with him in a very similar way, it seemed different when Taeil did it. It seemed more intimate... He told himself not to read into it too much. After all, Himchan did this to Jongup all the time.

Keeping that thought in mind, he managed to finish lunch without embarrassing himself. Taeil discreetly paid and hurried back to his car, texting as he went. "I forgot to tell Kyung we'd be later than planned, but he's good."

And then it was another twenty five minutes in a car that smelled wrong, trying not to stare at the bracelet that had somehow transformed into an elephant. Taeil picked it up when they reached the studio, but only to throw it into a tray on the console that could close.

Inside the building, they met a skinny blond man named Kyung with a smile even bigger than Yongguk's. Kyung gave Taeil a hug and kept one arm around his neck, grinning up at Junhong. "I bet the height difference drives poor Taeil crazy, but I love it. Nice to meet you."

Junhong chuckled before bowing. "Nice to meet you too! I'm Junhong."

"Taeil's poor, unfortunate student..." Kyung began walking further into the studio, keeping his hold on Taeil. "I hope you're working hard to be better than your usual, difficult self?"

Taeil snorted. "No, not really. I agreed to be a mentor, not a fairy godmother. Besides, Junhong can handle me."

"Can you?" Kyung waggled his eyebrows and Taeil elbowed him in the ribs.

Junhong's eyes widened slightly as he followed. "Ah... I think so?"

Taeil made a slightly rude noise. "Don't be nasty, Kyung. I might start talking about weird artist types."

"You walk a dangerous line, Taeilie." Kyung grinned even wider. "I see how you're dressed. Wanna start talking about rich brats?"

"Not really, no." Taeil twisted out of Kyung's grip. "I'd love to talk production. ...I will admit that there's a fucking Bulgari bracelet in my car right now, though. It was just sitting in the cup holder until I hid it."

"Sheesh." Kyung wandered over to a soundboard, setting up. "I wish I had the money to neglect Bulgari. He really needs to watch that, though..."

"As if." Taeil leaned over the controls, gesturing for Junhong to join them. He obeyed, but didn't want to appear rude or overly personal, so he sat quietly in the chair nearest to where Taeil was.

Kyung shook his head, pointing toward a heavy door. "Both of you go in there. I agreed to two o'clock. It's after three. Let's get started."

Behind the door was a tiny recording booth. Taeil and he could stand side by side, but there was no space to move with them and the music stand and microphone. Kyung began running through clips as soon as Taeil repositioned the mic, starting with some basic singing, a few familiar rap songs, and even a few examples of beatbox.

When Kyung ran out of suggestions, Taeil asked for a digital metronome and insisted that Junhong freestyle rap for no less than five minutes. Luckily, this was a familiar exercise that he and Yongguk used to work on their skills, and almost six minutes were easy to fill.

"Nice!" Taeil was even more excited than he had been after Junhong demonstrated trot, the previous day. "Queue that back up, Kyung. I wanna play with it."

He listened through the track once, then signaled for Kyung to record as he created a melodic counterpoint, mostly vocalizing, but matching Junhong's rap. When he was finished, Kyung came through the speaker. "If only you were this easygoing when we record your tracks. Those are always days of torture."

Taeil ducked slightly, blushing again. "This is a reference. Those are for sale. Big difference."

Junhong smiled at Taeil. "Do you sell your opera music? Or do you record separate music as well?"

"I do sell opera. Actually, my contract says I'm required to produce an album every second year, usually revolving around whatever major production we do during that time." Taeil explained. He took his fake glasses off and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "My contract is pretty lenient, though, so about two thirds of what I record is ballads."

"So the last third is opera?" In such close quarters, Junhong couldn't help noticing that Taeil had product in his hair, holding it in a soft wave. He'd never done that before, and didn't seem the type.

"Not exactly a third. Some is opera, some is silly shit I put together with some friends." Taeil took his hat off, combing out the careful wave with a random stroke of his fingers. "So, I'm not exactly new to singing with rap. Both Jiho and Jihoon rap... Kyung too, really. But mostly Jihoonie. Um... Mr. Bulgari. The brat with the Bucks."

"Ah, right." Junhong muttered. His mind ran on. 'The one whose cologne is all over you.'

Kyung came through the speakers again. "Why don't we wrap there? Come out to the lounge and we'll clean this up and burn it."

The lounge was more comfortable, though still small. Taeil fetched drinks from a mini fridge and dropped onto the little couch, landing almost on top of Junhong. Kyung began playing back the tracks they'd cut, asking for Taeil's advice on effects and trimming. They kept most of the work as unpolished as possible, for an honest reference, but they still sounded amazing to Junhong, especially the duet. Even the worst had better sound quality than the tracks his band cut on their small-time equipment.

Taeil looked at his watch. "Damn. Time is so slippery. It's after six, sorry Kyung." He nudged Junhong in the ribs. "Want digital copies or a CD?"

"Can you put the digital tracks on my phone?" Junhong offered his phone to Kyung.

Kyung tethered it to his main computer and started the transfer. "Want a few of Taeil's collections, too?"

"Yes, thank you!" Junhong bowed.

Taeil gestured. "He's ultra polite. See what I mean?"

Kyung laughed. "Good. Poor Minhyuk is the only person we know who's polite at all, and he has weird lapses. We need more."

Junhong bowed his head, embarrassed, and Taeil mussed his hair. "It's a good thing. Really. Come on, let's get out of Kyung's way."

"Yeah, go." Kyung was still laughing. He started shutting down the studio as they made their way out.

Taeil sat in the car for a few minutes, just looking at his keys. "Hey... Wanna grab dinner?"

"Uh... Let me check something real quick." Junhong sent a short text to Yongguk, asking after the band for the rest of the day. It was read within seconds, and a reply came through.

[BangY 6:21: I hope nobody planned anything. I'm stuck balancing books for a very scatterbrained merchant.]

"Sure. I don't have plans." Junhong stopped himself from bowing. "Thank you, again."

"That looked almost painful." Taeil teased, starting the car. "Save it up for the restaurant. I know this really authentic Japanese sushi place. They love bowing and stuff."

And the date vibe was back, making the ride awkward. It was so much worse with Taeil dressed so fancy, after Kyung's chic studio, with the sun setting. Even from the exterior, the restaurant was obviously expensive. There was carved pink Jade and cream marble at the entryway...

Taeil checked his reflection before going inside, even going so far as to tidy his slightly smeared eyeliner with one finger. Once inside, he spoke Japanese to the hostess, who took them to a private dining room. The walls were all shoji, the floors covered with tatami, and the table was low, with silk cushions for seating.

That was a brand new challenge. Junhong had no idea where to put his legs. Taeil continued talking to the hostess for a few minutes, then turned toward Junhong and laughed. "Good to see that long legs aren't always helpful."

Junhong felt his temperature rise. He looked at his legs, feeling like a baby deer. "Yeah..."

"I ordered. Same deal as lunch, okay?" He knelt beside Junhong, grabbing his thigh and tugging. "Get up, let me show you the convoluted art of sitting like a Japanese guy."

This art turned out to be uncomfortable, but manageable. The hardest part was having Taeil manhandling his legs and hips. He kept laughing, one arm around Junhong as he tried to force him into position. Finally, he showed him how to 'cheat'.

By then, the food had begun to arrive. Once again, Taeil started picking things up and pushing them at Junhong's mouth, describing flavors and warning about textures. He allowed Junhong to take anything that caught his attention, though he stole a bite of Junhong's half-eaten eel roll.

After that, it was clear that Junhong could also feed him anything he wanted to share. Taeil jokingly threatened to bite his fingers, but behaved. It was just another of many moments when he seemed inexplicably young.

This made the wheels in Junhong's mind stutter. He frowned at the table, thoughtfully. "Do you mind if I ask a personal question?"

Taeil also frowned. He glanced at the gold cuff links on his silk shirt. "Maybe. Go ahead."

"Uh... How old are you?" Junhong hoped it wasn't an offensive question.

Taeil's expression went from guarded to enlightened. "Okay, I see what you're doing... again. I'm twenty six, and very not cute. I have that on good authority. Small, but not cute. Like, even my mother says so."

Junhong's frown deepened. "You told me to be honest. I honestly think you're cute." Which sounded more incriminating than he expected.

Taeil made a face, and Junhong immediately regretted speaking. Taeil sighed. "Okay. We'll just accept that you have weird ideas about what's cute."

He leaned back, bracing his hands on the tatami behind him, and sighed. Then he scooted back ungracefully, his leather pants too well fitted to hide much as his shirt shifted, and he clambered up from the ground. The process probably looked better than Junhong's first attempts at sitting, but there was still a sense that Taeil's legs might have gone numb while they were eating.

Then he shifted sideways and thumped Junhong with his backside. "Come on. Let's get out of here."

The restaurant was busy outside their private room, and they had to weave between servers to reach the desk. Taeil spoke Japanese again, bowing politely before offering a credit card. Junhong had no idea how much their dinner cost, but he saw that the name on the card was not Lee Taeil. It was Pyo Jihoon.

Even without being visible, the bracelet bothered him when he returned to the car. Taeil chatted softly, suggesting that Junhong use the demo tracks as a progress report for class - a part of the assignment Junhong had forgotten about until then. He was offering to write up a baseline commentary to go with the tracks when his mobile began to ring - it's tone a surprisingly sensual rap line delivered in a low, gravelly voice.

Taeil accepted the call. "Hey..."

A deep voice rumbled from the other end, incoherent as it slipped past Taeil's ear.

"No, I'm still busy. It's only half after seven... Don't you ever work? You aren't done until nine. ...Yeah, I had dinner. ...Yeah, of course I was. ...What did you think, I was going to make you walk? ...Don't be stupid, Jihoon. ...Yes, I'll be there. ...Yeah, I remember what you said. ...Is that something you really want to repeat at work? ........okay....bye." He cast an apprehensive look at Junhong as he tucked his mobile back into his pocket.

They were close to Junhong's building by then, and Taeil looked jittery. He tried to break the tension. "It's cool that you speak Japanese. Can you speak any other languages?"

Taeil looked relieved. "Oh, yeah. I know some Italian and some German. There are a lot of operas in those languages. ...and I studied English for a while, but I'm kinda crap at that."

"That's so cool!" Junhong enthused.

Taeil stopped at a traffic light, looking around. "Hey, we're close to your place. When should we meet next?"

"I have classes tomorrow until three. After that I have to work until midnight." Really work, not like Taeil's friend. "Is Thursday okay?" He thought that if it ran as long as this meeting had, his friends would forget who he was.

"Yeah, that's good." Taeil's use of 'good' was steadily improving. "Thursday at two?"

"Yeah, I can do that." Junhong unbuckled, since they'd reached his building. He vaguely wished that Taeil would come up again...

"Okay. I'll see you then." Taeil said lightly, but when Junhong tried to open his door, the safety locks were engaged.

"Um..." He gestured. "I can't get out."

Taeil stared at him stupidly. He reached the wrong hand toward the wrong part of the car's controls, then stopped. "Sorry. Yeah." He unlocked the doors.

As Junhong walked into his building, he realized that Taeil had reached in the general direction of the bracelet. He was irritated by the trend he'd seen. Pyo Jihoon's stupid expensive bracelet, and his stupid expensive cologne, and his stupid credit card. And his stupid, low, adult-movie voice.

Once inside his apartment, he went directly to the window, but Taeil's car was already gone. Junhong sighed, stripping off his coat and walking back toward his entryway. The flower from Taeil caught his attention. It wasn't really anything significant, just something Taeil had taken from the opera house.

What right did he have to be jealous?


	9. Think of me (while you're having fun)

Throughout the day on Wednesday, Junhong made a point of texting his friends. He told them all about Kyung's studio and the demo recordings, the cafe that might be affordable enough for them to visit, and the hidden gem of a sushi restaurant, but he kept his bizarre jealousy to himself.

During classes and on his way to work, he kept a smile on his face and tried to focus on the best aspects of his life. He had wonderful friends and family, an achievable goal for his future, and now the privilege of getting to know someone as unique and giving as Taeil seemed to be.

He'd managed to become truly happy and comfortable again by his meal break, and returned to work chipper. When one of his coworkers complained of a large load being delivered for laundry service, he gladly offered to take it on.

However, as he hung shirt after shirt, all examples of big designer labels, his good mood failed. He imagined Pyo Jihoon - the 'brat with the Bucks' - His cologne on the clothing. Obviously, the guy was careless with his money. His bracelet in the car and his credit card in Taeil's wallet demonstrated that.

But, why was his cologne all over Taeil? He could see him applying it so heavily it hung like a cloud around him, settling into the car during a ride, but did the guy rub himself on Taeil? In his irritation, he almost sent the shirts through the wrong processing.

On Thursday morning, he sent texts first thing in the day to warn his friends that he had another meeting and might drop off the map, just in case it took his entire afternoon and evening again. He thought it would be impolite to accept calls or texts during his time with Taeil (even though Taeil obviously thought it was acceptable to take calls from Pyo Jihoon...). 

Youngjae texted back in seconds.  
[YooY 7:10am: Oh, the pain of being kidnapped and dragged to expensive restaurants and studios. Must suck. Think of me while you're having fun.]

Taeil rang his doorbell at 1:40. In stark contrast to the fancy (Dior) shirt and leather from their last outing, he was dressed down. No makeup. Simple SnapBack. His jeans looked genuinely worn to tatters and his tee bore the fading logo of a local tattoo shop. His fake glasses looked like the same thick black from his performance photo, and his cologne bore no traces of any other scent.

Junhong still wasn't sure about his huge wool coat. He knew it was Armani, and Armani might mean Pyo Jihoon, but at least it was familiar. Taeil must have noticed he was being given the look-over. He ducked his head and laughed, turning a bit pink. "What? I wanted to be comfortable, unless you need your mentor to look showy all the time..."

"Sorry..." Junhong looked back to his own coat before putting it on. "No, I actually like this better."

This seemed to genuinely please Taeil. He gave a cute little shrug and smiled, tugging his coat forward at his sides. "Okay. Um... I honestly don't have a place in mind today. We should spend a while focusing on exercises to improve your weak spots. Anywhere with a keyboard will work, so if you have a preference, that's good. Otherwise, we can hit somewhere I know."

"Oh, okay." Junhong retrieved his phone from his pocket. "Well, my friend Himchan might have a place we can go..."

"If not, it's good." Taeil insisted. "I know at least ten places... Just, I thought it should be comfortable for you."

Himchan was never as quick with his texts as Yongguk, especially during school, so there was an awkward wait, during which Junhong noticed a few more things. First, Taeil had a pierced eyebrow. There hadn't been any hardware in it before. Second, he had a tattoo on his chest that went almost to his throat. Last, that he had what looked like a fading hickey on his collarbone. He was contemplating his feelings about that when his mobile buzzed.

[KimH 1:56pm: Maybe not my classroom, but yes. I'll make sure you have a piano and some space.]

Taeil seemed content with that, and was cheerful enough to nearly bounce down the stairs. Junhong braced for whatever new shocks his car might offer, and was greeted with stale cigarette smoke. He knew the scent well, since it always lingered in Himchan and Yongguk's cars.

"Um... Do you smoke?" It was a common enough habit, but Taeil had such a beautiful voice, it would be a shame to damage it.

"No, of course not." Taeil started the car. He eased out onto the street, opening his window slightly in spite of the cold. "I hope you don't, either. It's a stupid habit for a musician."

"I don't." Junhong assured. He couldn't help wondering if this was another fingerprint from that guy. Taeil had said, during The Phone Call, that he would pick him up. He kept his thoughts to himself, however, and directed Taeil to the right car park for the school.

Himchan met them at his classroom. He looked Taeil over more obviously than Junhong had ever dared, then folded his arms. "You're an opera singer?"

"Last I checked." Taeil looked around, visibly distracted by the display cases and the lockers; the open classroom doors. After a moment's silence, he looked toward Himchan. "We don't carry ID cards, though. Do I need to belt out a few stanzas of Don Giovanni to prove I'm a dorky opera star?"

Himchan recovered quickly. "No... Of course not. That would be distracting to the student body." He smiled at Junhong. "You can use the band room. It has a piano and much more."

Once installed, Taeil quickly ran through the keys of the piano. He grimaced at a few notes, apparently finding them slightly out of tune, but nodded when he was done. "It'll do. If we're going to do this here again, I'd like to send a guy to fix it and get it properly in tune. If I pay, will the school let me?"

Unsurprisingly, this offer went a long way toward smoothing Himchan's temper. He returned to his classroom and they were able to work for several hours with only slight interruptions - usually from students gathering near the door to listen to Junhong each time he worked on rap.

Himchan returned soon after five, warning that the school would be closing down for the day. He had his bag over his shoulder and walked with them toward the exit, shaking his head. "My students now think that you are the coolest person I know. They need to meet Bbang."

"Yeah, they do! He's so cool." In many ways, Yongguk had been Junhong's role model for the last year and a half. His appreciation for both him and Himchan was immense.

Himchan stopped beside Taeil's car. "You parked a BMW here?"

"It's still here, isn't it? This area isn't too bad. I've been in a lot worse. Besides-" Taeil trailed off, looking toward Junhong, whose stomach had begun growling. "Oh. I keep starving you... Let me get dinner."

The rise of Himchan's defenses was instant. He shook his head, very minutely. Junhong gestured slightly, looking from Himchan to Taeil. He may appreciate Himchan, but had come to enjoy Taeil's company, no matter how awkward or confusing.

Which was why, fifteen minutes later, Himchan had gone home and Junhong was with Taeil at a tiny noodle joint. It was comfortingly simple, with prices printed on a menu, and Junhong doubted Taeil would feel the need to pay for it with that guy's money.

"I had a crazy idea..." Taeil spoke to his bowl, paying it entirely too much attention. "Now, you can veto this, but I thought the freestyle track was so good, that can't just be a fluke, so maybe we could cut an EP... You know, as your final presentation. It would only need six to eight songs, and it would be a fairly simple thing, but it would fit the requirements for the project and you could make some money..."

"Really? That'd be awesome! I'd love to!" Junhong barely kept his butt in his seat. He had the irrational urge to bound around the table and hug Taeil, but he didn't think the gesture would be appreciated.

Taeil laughed, finally looking up from his noodles. "Great. It's a deal. Now you get the pleasure of explaining to your friends and family when you have no life outside a little box with me."

It sounded appealing, actually. Junhong nodded. "They'll understand."

"...and then there are your other classes... You'll have less time at the end of the semester, so you'll need to plan ahead."

"I'll talk to my teachers." He might need to reduce his hours at the laundromat, too.

"Good. Okay." Taeil pushed his bowl away, half eaten. "Mind if I ask a few life questions?"

"Uh, sure." Junhong dragged the bowl closer. "If you aren't eating this... Can I?"

"God, please." Taeil watched him; smiled awkwardly and checked his eyebrow ring. "You said you weren't local... Is your family far from Seoul?"

"I'm from Mokpo." He took Taeil's chopsticks from the bowl, since his had been taken away with his dishes. "I'm still trying to get used to Seoul."

"And it's busses?" Taeil teased. 

"That too." Junhong lowered the chopsticks, thinking. "I still haven't figured out what they smell like, by the way."

"What?" As if it had never happened. This was what he did with his friend Minhyuk, too.

"At Seoul Grand Park, you said I smelled like public transportation..." This was awkward. "You really don't remember that?"

"Oh. Hold on." Taeil looked at his phone, flipping through a few screens. "Wow. Look at that. I even wrote that down. 'Smells like old people and shoes'. Yeah"

Junhong slumped. "......so that's what it smells like."

"I was kinda pissed off." He turned his phone completely off and put it back in his pocket. "I haven't noticed you smelling weird. It was probably the area. Stop looking like I punched you."

Junhong straightened up. "Sorry."

"Quit." Taeil nudged his knee with his thigh. "So... You have a highschool music teacher for a friend. That's different. How'd that happen?"

"Our friend, Yongguk introduced us." Junhong explained. "He got six of us together, almost nineteen months ago, and we've been doing small venues since then, trying to get noticed as a band."

"Hip hop?" Taeil guessed.

"Sort of. Plus rock and..." He'd never had to fit them into genres before. "We have our own sound."

"Doesn't everyone?" Taeil waved at the waitress. "Don't answer that. I know, there are clones. I hate the radio. You'd think I'd be having a passionate love affair with music, but I'm always disappointed."

Love affair, huh? Where'd the hickey come from? "Like in the aquarium?"

"Ouch." Taeil paid with cash, then began repeatedly nudging Junhong's leg. "Finish. Seriously, I smell like noodles."

"Then you smell delicious!" Junhong savored another bite.

"That invites a 'bite me' comment, but I'll refrain." Taeil leaned back in his chair. "Okay, since I'm steeping... What are your long term goals? The band? Cuz, that's a shot in the dark and you're already twenty, you have two years' mandatory service to plan around, and life waits for nobody."

Even Himchan was never that blunt. Even Daehyun. "Well, you're a professional singer and you offered to make an EP with me, so maybe I'm one of the lucky ones?"

"Oh, so you wanted to ride my opera coat into a genre-less spotlight? Funny thought." Taeil snorted. "Not a proven winner."

"I like to stay positive." Junhong set the bowl down, empty.

"So, no long term goals. Very cute..." Taeil got up, gesturing toward the door and lowering his voice to a mumble. "...if you're rich."

"Ow." Junhong said over Taeil's shoulder as they reached the car.

"Well..." Taeil shrugged. He sat on the hood rather than getting in. Their breath hung in the air between them. "Music is a hard business to just 'make it' in. I knew when I was eleven years old that I wanted it, and I went to two separate schools every day trying to make sure it happened. I still work very hard for what I have, and I'm no public sweetheart or idol. I'm doing something that has been grinding on for hundreds of years."

"How'd you manage two schools every day?" Junhong sat beside Taeil, on the car.

"Not an exciting story." Taeil looked away. "I went to normal school in the morning and music school in the afternoon. My lunch break was a drive, or a bus ride. I was always sure all the other kids would hate me. It was weird, and I'm still weird, years later."

"You're not weird." Junhong reached out and turned Taeil's head back toward him. "You're actually really cool, and your friends seem nice. Kyung is funny."

Taeil stared at him. It might have been wishful thinking, but he seemed to lean forward slightly, then he hopped off the car. "It is fucking cold. Come on."

When they reached Junhong's building, Taeil parked the car and walked up. He joked again about inspections, but only stopped to look at the flower, now fading in its glass of water. He traced his fingertips over its petals. "I should steal a fresh one for you..."

Like a moment from a dream, he stretched up on his tiptoes, hooked a hand behind Junhong's neck, pulled him downward, and kissed him. It was a tiny kiss, barely more than the brush of their lips, but by the time he'd stepped back, regret was obvious on his face. He seemed to shrink, the way he had the night he waited in the cold.

"I'm so sorry..." He took a few steps backward, then fled.


	10. "Taeil likes rude people"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...DDiva and I truly love Jihoon, and we apologize for how douchey he seems in this and a few other chapters...
> 
> It's an AU, and this Jihoon is very, very spoiled. Please don't judge the real man by our work.

Friday night found Junhong at Himchan's flat, hot drinks on the table, and Yongguk sitting opposite him. Himchan was pacing the room, fuming. "That man is a mess! I saw it when we met, clear as day. He isn't a classical musician, he's an arrogant man child with unresolved issues!"

Yongguk held up his hands in surrender. "Whoa now. Turn off the avenger and let's think about this. Junhong's mentor did something inappropriate that he isn't proud of. Is he still in contact?"

"Not really." Unless a text arrived without his notice. Junhong checked and found nothing. "No."

Himchan made an exasperated sound and grabbed his coat and cigarettes, ducking outside.

Yongguk stared after him. "Have you tried texting?"

He hadn't known what to say. "No."

"Well, you need to." Yongguk felt inside his pocket, probably wanting a smoke, knowing that Himchan was smoking. "This is a graded project, first and foremost. You need to send a text right now."

Junhong grappled with texting, once again. Words appeared quickly, but disappeared even quicker.  
[why'd you kiss me? (delete)  
Are you okay? (delete)  
Are we meeting again?]  
He tapped 'send', and watched like a hungry owl as it sat unread.

Himchan returned and looked over his shoulder, only to get annoyed all over again. "How childish! I'm calling his employer."

"You wouldn't want to do that." Yongguk advised.

"What about junie's teacher?" Himchan stole a drink of Yongguk's coffee.

"No." Yongguk stood firm. Junhong almost missed the fact that Taeil was reading his message, then it was read and still no reply came.

Himchan sighed dramatically. He went to the kitchen in search of snacks and Yongguk followed, rubbing his shoulders as he made sandwiches.

Junhong felt his mobile vibrate.

[LeeT 7:38pm: Yeah. Sorry for the silence. When is good?]

[tomorrow is good, anytime]

[LeeT 7:40pm: I have a rehearsal tomorrow. Six hours of boring opera. You could probably sleep very well, or listen to a bunch of pointless whining about unrequited love in Italian. Now with Arpeggio.]

[haha! I'll happily listen.]

[LeeT 7:41pm: okay. Is eleven too early?]

[eleven sounds good]

[LeeT 7:43pm: eat something, okay? Six hours is a long time to be hungry.]

[okay. I'll eat.]

[LeeT 7:52pm: I'm sorry about yesterday.]

Junhong wanted to reply. He wanted to assure Taeil that the kiss had been no problem, but saying something like that would cause a reaction, not only from Taeil, but also from Himchan, who was still hovering over his shoulder. Himchan sighed. "At least there'll be witnesses."

Which was no comfort to Junhong.

Yongguk took him home soon after, and in the privacy of his apartment he sent another text.  
[it's okay.]

It was read right away, but Taeil didn't reply. Even after a full night's sleep, there was nothing. Junhong tried not to let that bother him. He thought about the opera house and the people he'd seen there, and thought it best to dress with a bit more effort than usual. He wasn't the sort to use a lot of product in his hair, so he combed it out before it had a chance to dry, hoping that would be enough to tame his wild curls.

He had to resort to pairing pieces from outfits he'd bought for performances, but the effect wasn't bad. There was only so much a person could say about black pants and a tailored jacket. Considering Taeil's sharp nose, he wore cologne again.

The doorbell rang at 10:50, and he was glad he'd started early. Taeil didn't come inside when offered, waiting politely in the hall instead. He was wearing the leather jacket again, and another overly long sweater with slim pants. He was more jittery than usual. "Sorry. Seriously."

"It's really not a problem." Except that it clearly was for Taeil.

"I don't know what my deal was..." He gestured lamely. "It's been a weird week."

"It's okay." Junhong wore his best coat - one that Yongguk bought, and he felt a little silly about his resentment of Taeil's rich friend.

Taeil nodded, still looking uncertain, and returned to his car. The drive was uncomfortably silent, but over quickly. Taeil parked and led Junhong inside, nodding to a guard at the door.

Others were gathering, both near the stage and in the audience. Taeil showed him a place where guests could sit and watch, then joined a dozen other people at the stage. All around the opera theater, groups chatted. The orchestra began tuning and playing phrases of music, and bit by bit Junhong noticed it. The offensive cologne.

He'd lost his mind. He looked around himself, seeing too many well dressed people to jump to any conclusions, until he noticed one man. He was almost as tall as Junhong, stunningly handsome, and wearing custom-made clothing with a Bulgari watch.

As Junhong watched, he moved from guest to guest, welcoming and answering questions. His deep voice was clearer but lower that Yongguk's, and carried across the room. He noticed Junhong looking at him and winked.

What?

The singers had begun working on their parts on stage, but Taeil was watching quietly as two of his colleagues sang, and then the well dressed gentleman was settling into the chair next to Junhong's. His cologne identified him.

"Hi." He offered a hand. "Are you Taeil's mentee?"

"Yeah, I'm Junhong." Against his impulses, he shook the offered hand. "Who are you?"

"Oh, right." The guy had the decency to look embarrassed. "I'm Pyo Jihoon. I'm currently an intern here, working in PR..." His voice was noticeably less 'bedroom' when not on the phone with Taeil.

A steam of rude thoughts ran through Junhong's mind. Stupid Bulgari bracelet. Credit Card. Kyung's and Taeil's nicknames..... He nodded.

Jihoon smiled, showing no sign of noticing Junhong's struggle. "Taeilie must be a great mentor. He's so talented..."

"Yes. He is." Junhong knew he was being overly curt, but it was better than saying what he was thinking.

Jihoon's smile began to look a bit stilted. Taeil stared at them from the stage, looking ill. "You're kind of a jerk, aren't you?"

Junhong's eyes went wide. He could feel himself gaping, but couldn't stop. Taeil looked on the verge of panic. "What?"

Jihoon sighed. He adjusted his overpriced watch. His damn cologne wafted over Junhong like an invisible blanket. A glance was enough to see that he had product in his hair, holding it into a perfect, graduated wave. Even his skin was flawless - it put most women's to shame. 

He moved on from his watch to his cuff links - the same ones Taeil had worn. "You seem kind of... Rude. Have you always been like that, or is it something about me?"

That was a tempting opening. "I try not to be."

"Oh." Jihoon shrugged, smiled in a way that held no guile, like a little boy might. "Sometimes I invite it. Rudeness. I've been told I intimidate people, though that seems funny. Maybe it's my voice?"

Junhong had begun to regret disliking him so unreasonably, until he made his last comment. "Maybe."

"Though, yours is kind of annoying." Jihoon discretely looked at his reflection in the crystal lens of his watch.

It must be exhausting to be so preoccupied with your looks. Himchan could be, and it made him miserable. "I guess different people think different things are rude... Or annoying."

Jihoon smiled again, still genuine. "Yeah. Taeil likes rude people, though. He doesn't like dishonesty."

They both looked toward Taeil, but he still wasn't singing, just staring at them, looking trapped. Jihoon made a ridiculously silly face at him, then turned back to Junhong. "How's the mentorship thing going?"

Had they met under different circumstances, Junhong suspected he would like this man. "Like you said, he's talented. I'm learning a lot."

"Good." Jihoon glanced around himself, patiently waiting as Taeil sang for several minutes. "At the beginning, he thought you were a slacker who didn't care about learning. That upset him a lot. He gets invested quick."

It hadn't shown until their first attempt at the studio, but Junhong believed it, now. "Yeah... There was a lot of miscommunication and misunderstanding..."

"Well, I'm glad that's done." Jihoon nodded, playing at serious. "I told him to drop the project. Anyone who can't appreciate him doesn't deserve his time."

"I can understand looking out for a friend...." Junhong had Himchan in his life, after all.

Jihoon nodded again, more introspective. "Good. Nice meeting you."

He gracefully unfolded from the chair and strolled away, moving to the next group of guests. From the stage, Taeil watched him walk the entire distance.

Rehearsal ran on for hours.

Even with a few performance issues, it remained an impressive production. Taeil sounded perfect to Junhong's imperfect ears, but he kept insisting that he could do better and running back through his songs, fighting for sweeter high notes and richer lows. Jihoon didn't check on Junhong again, though he made an endless circuit of the guests, always chatting and laughing.

When the musicians began to disperse, Taeil was intercepted by Jihoon, though only for a quick hug. Once released, he crossed to where Junhong was waiting.

"You were really good!" None of the other guests were being loud, but Junhong felt enthusiastic.

Taeil shook his head. "I sucked. Have you listened to my songs? I'm better than this."

"You still sounded awesome." Junhong insisted. "You looked kind of sick, though. Are you okay?"

Taeil nodded awkwardly, heading toward his car. "I'm sorry, that ate your whole afternoon. I'm not even sure what you could learn from it. Um... Sing what I sing while I drive, okay? Like repeating animal calls, but I'm the animal."

Again, mimicry was one of Junhong's strengths. Applying it to his weakness of extreme note changes made the entire process easier. Taeil seemed more healthy and content on the drive back to Junhong's apartment, but as they approached his usual parking area, he fell quiet.

"I'm not sure I've really dealt with this... I just need you to know how sorry I am." He scraped his thumbnail against the perfect surface of his steering wheel. "Anyway. I'm not eating today, so no dinner... I'm just gonna drop you off."

"That's okay... Both are, really." Junhong didn't voice his worries about the 'not eating' comment.

When they reached the car park, Taeil stopped, but left the car running. He toyed with the shifter, watching his own, cloth-covered hands. "Don't forget to eat, okay."

"I'll eat." Junhong wished Taeil would.

"Bye." Taeil leaned over the seat, though only once Junhong was out of the car. "I'll text."

Returning to his apartment alone, Junhong realized how much he missed the date vibe.


	11. The Shabby Pack

The promised text came so late it dragged Junhong out of bed, where he'd been lying around, trying to sleep.

[LeeT 11:24pm: Do you have any problem with treating future meetings like a lab? I'm thinking Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday 2-6pm. Feedback?]

His stomach sank. He didn't think it could get much lower. 

[LeeT 11:31: I'll pick you up @2 on Tuesday, then.]

The next day, a courier brought him a professional-looking jewel case with his demo disc inside, along with a printed report from Taeil, summarizing his baseline abilities and areas of opportunity. He couldn't see any of Taeil's colorful personality in the cold, serious text, but Byun sun-seng nim was delighted to receive it on Monday morning.

Tuesday brought Taeil to his door a little early, as always. However, the mentor he met with was more like the Taeil he saw on stage than the man he'd begun to know: a driven perfectionist who wore professionalism like a mask. There were no more casual comments or long stares. Taeil only looked at him for a minute at a time, then his eyes always skipped back to the band room's piano.

Junhong tried to count the positive aspects of the new arrangement. Himchan's band piano had never sounded better, after the repairman visited. Also, Junhong was able to schedule around his meetings easily, and was back to seeing his friends three or four times each week. Taeil had stopped apologizing...

But, he had also become awkwardly impersonal. It wasn't as though he'd stopped caring about his role as mentor - he was still excellent - but the chemistry that had been so appealing between them had been swept away. Every time Taeil came close to one of his nervous little smiles, it was pushed off his mouth by a worried frown.

This went on for no less than three weeks before Junhong was offered a respite. It was time to record his second set of tracks. Taeil arranged to pick him up one hour earlier than had become their norm, and hopefulness had Junhong moving before dawn. It was a warm day for early March, so he aired out his apartment while waiting.

Taeil was eleven minutes early, and wearing his ordinary clothes rather than the 'business clothes' that had been his standard for the last few weeks. He insisted that Junhong sing scales on the way to the studio, and when they arrived, Kyung already had the booth ready.

Taeil still needed to adjust the mic, and Junhong took the opportunity to steal a glance down the loose neck of his tee, hoping to see more tattoo and less hickey than last time. He got what he'd wanted, with an extra surprise. The mic was difficult, and as Taeil tried to force it in place, the light glinted on a silver hoop in his right nipple.

As if sensing where Junhong was looking, Taeil froze and gave him a sideways look. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing." Junhong looked away.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." Taeil huffed. "Help. This is your freaking mic, you giant."

Which was, weirdly enough, the best thing he'd said in ages, because it was personal. Junhong didn't know how the mic stand was jointed, but he tried to assist. It became clear as they set its height that it was, as Taeil had said, ONLY Junhong's mic. There was nothing set to record Taeil.

Now that he was thinking about it, the EP project hadn't been mentioned since their dynamic changed. Junhong didn't want to jump to conclusions. He always tried to look at things from a positive standpoint, but he couldn't help feeling betrayed.

Kyung cued the first track, and Junhong made an effort to put on his game face. He pushed himself through the song, having memorized and practiced it enough to sing it on autopilot.

Taeil called for a stop less than halfway through. "What was that? That was crap, Junhong. Your first set was better."

"Sorry", Junhong bowed slightly. "I'm not very focused..."

"Then focus. Professional musicians don't have the luxury of 'off' days." Taeil snapped. "Start over."

Junhong tried to clear his mind and focus on the music. He told himself he was wasting an opportunity, thought of his friends and family for encouragement, and forced himself to endure Taeil's harsh criticism long enough to produce six tracks worth of music that honestly represented his best at his current skill level.

When Taeil finally let him leave the booth, Kyung's studio was full of people. Taeil was as obviously shocked as Junhong, and stopped so suddenly in the doorway that Junhong ran into him.

"What's with the face?" An unfamiliar man asked. "Hi Taeil. It's been a month since you talked to any of your friends."

Jihoon's voice came from a different room. "There's a new opera opening soon, Jiho. He's been busy." Of course he was there. He hung into the room diagonally, holding on to the doorjam leading to Kyung's lounge. "And, he's talked to me. A lot."

Everyone else Junhong could see was dressed casually. Skinny jeans, tees, hoodies, baggy sweaters, yet Pyo Jihoon was wearing an Emporio Armani ensemble, complete with visible brand insignia. He crossed to where Taeil was, his huge personality making the room feel cramped, and slung an arm around Taeil's shoulders. Junhong had to dodge back to avoid being hit in the face.

"Taeilie..." Jihoon stage-whispered. "I'm so used to seeing you in your rehearsal clothes... You look really shabby today." As if to prove his point, he stretched the collar of Taeil's tee, which didn't recover well.

Jiho laughed, though his jeans were at least as beaten as Taeil's tee. There were splatters of paint all over them, and his arms. Kyung reached over and picked a fleck of paint off his elbow and he shut up.

"We're the shabby pack." Kyung declared.

"I'm not shabby." An absurdly good looking man declared. "I was raised to take pride in my appearance."

"Proving you can polish ugly." Jiho declared. The unidentified man pretended not to hear.

Jihoon was still blocking the door to the booth, and from his undesirable vantage, Junhong could see that Jihoon's fingers were pushed all the way down in the back pocket of Taeil's jeans. Taeil grabbed Jihoon's arms and steered them both further into the room, giving Junhong an opportunity to escape.

Kyung offered him a bottle of water. "Good job, by the way."

"Ah, thank you." Junhong caught himself bowing again and they both laughed. Kyung was definitely his favorite of Taeil's friends.

And Jihoon was still his least favorite. He moved away from Taeil for a little while, laughing and making odd comments with Jiho, but soon returned. A young couple joined them, the man almost as striking as his girlfriend. They distributed mildly alcoholic drinks and everyone crowded into the lounge.

There was not enough seating. That might have excused the fact that Jihoon pulled Taeil onto his lap, had he not also slipped his hand under the hem of Taeil's shirt. Taeil looked irritable already, and slipped free to go to the bathroom, mumbling at his friends as he left.

Jihoon shrugged. Jiho shrugged back. Yukwon, Sunhye, and Jaehyo laughed. Minhyuk leaned against the wall beside Junhong. "I bet you're getting a headache. I know you're familiar with Taeil's weirdness, but these guys are a completely different variety."

"I have loud friends, too." Junhong deferred. "...and I work at a laundromat. This is okay."

"I work in nightclubs. This still isn't okay." Minhyuk smirked, showing his dimples again. "I can tell Jihoon is driving you crazy."

"Yeah..." Junhong admitted. "I'm not used to people like him."

"That's because he's a mutant." Minhyuk seemed completely serious. "Possibly a mutant alien."

That sort of comment would have been par for the course from Jongup, but he hadn't imagined Minhyuk was as... Random? Jihoon was laughing so loudly at the other side of the room that the conversation was put on hold until he stopped. Then he was up, accosting Taeil again as he returned.

Somehow, Jiho's antics acted as a catalyst for a side of Kyung that had previously been hidden, and the two began to banter back and forth with caustic humor that dragged everyone else into their act. Jihoon pulled Taeil back into his lap, one hand on his hip and the other back inside his shirt.

Having noticed the pierced nipple earlier, it was easy to guess what Jihoon was messing with. Taeil looked like he was holding himself at bay for a while, his jaw tight and his eyes thinned. Slowly, the tension went out of his face, giving way to unease. He kept cautiously glancing around the lounge at the people gathered.

Somehow, nobody else seemed to notice what Jihoon's hand was doing in Taeil's shirt. Junhong made an effort not to be caught looking, but couldn't help peeking back. These people knew Taeil better than he did... How did they not see his anxiety? How could anyone overlook anything that a man as showy as Jihoon was doing?

Kyung and Jiho had taken a break from fondly insulting each other, and Kyung was insisting upon showing the group an advertisement he'd helped produce, for which Yukwon and Minhyuk had written the music. Everyone had quieted down a bit, even Jihoon, though Taeil was still watching them all. The advertisement began, and Jihoon's visible hand slipped down from Taeil's hip to the inside of his thigh...

Junhong's internal reaction was so strong, he almost missed the way Taeil's eyes went wide and his hand clenched into a fist. Taeil elbowed Jihoon in the upper chest, pulling free. "Jesus, Jihoon! Wanna just fucking jerk me off right here?"

Everyone stared. Even Kyung's mouth hung slightly open. Jihoon looked hurt and horrified, and the only sound was Kyung's advert. And then Jiho stood up, looking just as angry as Taeil. "What the fuck, Taeil? You just hit him! Get a grip or go home!"

"Go to hell, Jiho!" Taeil shouted, grabbing his coat and stomping out the door.

Which was Junhong's cue to leave.

The car was running, but still there when he reached it. Taeil held the steering wheel so tightly, his knuckles had gone pale. He drove far more carefully than was his style, as if rigorous control was needed to keep him from running everyone else down.

Junhong was cautiously silent most of the way home, but his leg kept pedaling from nervous energy and unanswered questions. Taeil glanced toward it every time they were stopped by a light, his expression still tight.

Taeil's explosion seemed to be primarily caused by Jihoon visibly putting his hands where they shouldn't be. The question that had been lingering in the back of Junhong's mind for a while resurfaced, and he was pretty sure he knew the answer. There was only one way to be certain, but with Taeil's current mood, he was hesitant to ask.

"So..." Junhong broke the silence, steeling himself. "I didn't realise you and Jihoon-ah were dating..."

Taeil grit his teeth. "What's it to you?"

Junhong thought that was just as good as a confirmation. He looked down at his hands, unable to keep calm while facing Taeil. "Nothing, I guess."

Taeil made a strangled sound. He stared out the windshield, blinking rapidly, and by the time they reached Junhong's building, he was trembling too violently to hide. He stopped near his usual spot and pointed at the door, saying nothing.

Junhong pushed the car door open a bit too aggressively and slammed it behind him as he walked away. The stairwell echoed with his stomping and his unused coats fell off the rack as he forced his way into his own home, like an intruder. 

He dropped the coat he'd worn amid the pile and threw himself onto the couch, dragging a throw pillow over his face. If he had the money to buy new furniture, he'd kick the arm off the couch he was on, but he knew he didn't. He wished he had something he could lash out at, or even just someone to help him sort this out.

Yongguk came to mind. He pushed the pillow off his face and retrieved his mobile, keeping it simple. [today sucked.]

[BangY 6:19pm: should I come over?]

[yes]

[BangY 6:22pm: I'm on my way. Bringing chicken.]

The kindness of his friends was at least a small comfort to Junhong. He rolled off the couch and to his feet; picked up his coats and hung them. He breathed in through his nose, out through his mouth, like Himchan did whenever he was frustrated.

Unfortunately, his mind was set to a slideshow of everything terrible from his time at the studio.

Yongguk knocked, but let himself in. He placed two large cartons of melon chicken and two bottles of brown rice tea on Junhong's coffee table, washed his hands in the kitchen, and sat on the couch. Nobody could look patiently expectant the same way he did, elbows on knees, hands clasped, expression an odd mix of tough and compassionate.

"Tell me how your day sucked."

Junhong sighed and began to unload. "Well, it started off the same boring, overly professional way every meeting does now. Then when we got to the studio, I was the only one being recorded even though Taeil had promised to do the EP I told you about."

He gestured frustratedly as he spoke. "I'm pretty sure that's not going to happen! So that was hard, and I honestly felt betrayed... still do. Then, when we get done recording and I think we're going to listen to the tracks, a bunch of Taeil's friends showed up and it got awkward and loud!"

"Minhyuk and Kyung still tried to include me, but Taeil barely even looked at me most of the time and that kinda, really hurt... Meanwhile! Taeil's friend, the rich one, kept putting his hands in Taeil's shirt and rubbing him and... Stuff. And it got even more awkward and I'm pretty sure they're dating but... When I asked Taeil about it he just... And I just... I don't know..."

Yongguk nodded, maintaining eye contact, occasionally raising his eyebrows. "That's a lot..." He nodded to himself, processing. "I think the 'boring, professional' meetings might be better than the alternative right now. It sounds like Taeil is trying to do the right thing as a mentor, even if he's all over the map with how he's acted in the past. The EP thing is hard to deal with, I'm sure, but until something is put in a contract, you can't afford to take it to the bank."

Junhong couldn't bring himself to nod. He gestured for Yongguk to continue.

"His friends shouldn't bother you. They can't be any louder than Daehyun and Youngjae, or any stranger than me or Himchan or Jongup... But I understand how hard the love thing is." Yongguk examined his lighter, then put it back in his pocket. "Remind yourself that he's just supposed to be your mentor, and tell me if that helps."

He opened the cartons of chicken, carefully selecting one piece from each then pushing the rest toward Junhong. "Love is a complicated business, especially when there are more than two people involved..."


	12. Emotional ESP

Yongguk was almost always both comforting and logical. Their conversation over dinner was exactly what Junhong needed, but his mind continued to run in circles after Yongguk had left for the night. 

One thing that Yongguk had mentioned was something Himchan had said numerous times before: that Taeil was meant to be his mentor and nothing more. At this point, though, that seemed impossible, even though it was apparently what Taeil was trying to do. Junhong knew more about Taeil than he did his friendliest classmates, and he couldn't help but treasure the moments where he'd caught Taeil staring at him.

Now that Yongguk had pointed out his own feelings to him, he wasn't sure if this made things easier or harder. Like he had said, love is complicated, and the fact that they were the same gender and had an age difference of seven years only further complicated the situation. 

He still wanted to be positive about the mentorship itself, but it was harder now that he felt he couldn't be as personal with Taeil. Yongguk was right, once again, about the EP promise not meaning anything, but it still hurt knowing that all of these promises were fading away because of a quick kiss that Junhong didn't even mind in the first place.

Then Junhong thought of Pyo Jihoon. He was almost certain that Taeil and Jihoon were dating, but having seen them together, he questioned the dynamic. With his head clear, he remembered how Taeil had seemed to be hiding hurt when confronted in the car, and the noise he made after Junhong's comment. But, Taeil had also seemed comfortable enough with Jihoon's touches. If they hadn't been at the studio, in front of everyone... Junhong suddenly understood Mihyuk's describing Jihoon as a mutant alien.

He tucked his legs up on the couch, wrapping his arms around his knees, and resting his chin on his forearms. After a while, he picked up his phone, contemplating sending a text before putting it back down, at a loss for words. Maybe he'd think of something tomorrow.

Junhong hauled himself off the couch, walking lazily towards his room. He didn't want to do anything, and flopped on his bed in his day clothes, just pulling a blanket over himself. Closing his eyes, all he wanted was to sleep and think about anything but Taeil and his friends. Instead, he thought of Taeil's smile. The one he never got to see anymore.

He raised his hand to his own lips, thinking of the way Taeil's had just lightly brushed against them. The way he had so immediately distanced himself from Junhong after that. Junhong couldn't bring himself to be angry again, now all he felt was hurt. Somehow, despite his thoughts, he managed to fall sleep. 

The next morning didn't offer any comforts. When he checked his phone, nothing awaited him and for the first couple of hours that he was awake, his thoughts ran in similar patterns as they had the night before. He knew that Yongguk and Youngjae were working that morning, that Himchan was visiting his sister. He didn't want to see Daehyun, who had never mastered subtlety or sympathy, so he called Jongup over to play video games.

They were fighting their way through a war torn city in the most recent call of duty when Jongup started talking. He looked serious and peaceful, even as his character was shooting wildly. "I like the way physics work in this game... That guy just shot me and all my blood is just on my goggles. You can't even see it when you look at me, but I can see it..."

"It's like how Himchan talks about heartache... He says you can see it, but nobody else does... Except, I notice when he's unhappy." Jongup continued. He was quiet enough to be easily ignored, but Junhong listened. "I think sometimes people don't notice their own hearts hurting until they've gotten over their heads. Maybe we need bloody goggles to tell us that we need help?"

"Yeah, that would probably help sometimes..." Junhong commented. He currently felt over his head and thought that a graphic indicator (maybe not blood, though) would have been useful before things had gotten so bad. "I wish I noticed when Taeil's unhappy... I swear, I feel like I only notice when I can't do anything about it..."

Jongup tilted his head slightly, still playing while listening. "You probably do notice when he feels different. Maybe it just doesn't register as what it is until later, though. It gets easier when you get to know someone's 'tells'..."

Junhong tried to think about what Taeil's tells would be. "It's easy to tell when he's happy or annoyed. He's kinda obvious when he's nervous, too... But the only times I've really seen him hurt were when things had already gotten so bad there was nothing I could do about it." 

"So, he's more like Himchan than Yongguk." Jongup observed. "Yongguk is always nice, but you can see when he's feeling hurt. Himchan tries to hide it... I think people can develop emotional ESP, it's just an issue of how."

Junhong nodded as he spoke, stopping at the 'ESP' comment. His eyes thinned. "Do you think you've developed emotional ESP yet, Jongup? Cause apparently I fail at that skill."

"Look at that! My guy got shot from the right side, but he flew straight back and upward and he landed halfway inside a wall!" Jongup set his controller down. He took a deep breath, regrouped, and looked at the corner of the ceiling. "Sometimes I have it. Sometimes it's like I can feel Himchan hurting even when he's calm-looking. But I'm still not good at it. ....maybe you have to absorb it through a person's skin? Yongguk has been close to Himchan longer, and he's better at it... So I hug Himchan a lot and hope I get better."

"Maybe... I wonder if it would have to be intimate touching to work." Junhong wasn't so sure about that last part. He'd long since gotten used to Jongup's theories, plus, at this point, he was pretty desperate for a way to understand Taeil. "Because you can do that with some people and they don't really care, but others will distance themselves, right?"

"Oh." Jongup considered his point. "I don't know. There are people who get intimate and don't know each other's feelings at all... Maybe the skill is passed through the skin, but you have to really want it in order to absorb it? Maybe the person you're touching has to want to be understood?" 

"Ah..." Junhong nodded thoughtfully. "That would make sense..."

He doubted that Taeil wanted to be understood. With that incredibly depressing thought in mind, he played a little longer, listening to Jongup prattle about Himchan.

But, maybe Taeil did want to be understood, but Junhong was just bad at it? He'd never noticed, for example, how often Jongup talked about Himchan, and about understanding his feelings. If he wasn't paying attention to one of his best friends enough to see the patterns, he couldn't have been giving enough effort to Taeil.

Which led to the question of whether he should. At this point, he wanted to. He genuinely wanted to be around Taeil and understand him, but it was hard, given their current circumstances. Junhong thought back to what Jihoon said about how, at first, Taeil thought he didn't care enough. For all Junhong knew, that was still how he felt.

He decided that he needed to establish that he cared, not only about music, but also about Taeil's feelings, and see what his options were. Taeil had kissed him, not the other way around. That meant something, and he hoped he could find out what.

Jongup stayed until almost eight o'clock, sharing delivery pizza and mostly quiet company. He managed to make Junhong laugh with another, far less serious theory about game dynamics and hidden karma systems, and provided an opportunity to just be young for a few hours.

Then Junhong was alone to clean up the mess. As he cleared away the pizza boxes, he noticed his mobile underneath, and a quick check showed that he had a text.

[LeeT 6:43pm: No meeting Tuesday. We'll plan on Thursday, though. Do your exercises.] 

Junhong sighed, trying to think of what to type.

[Okay... I will. Is everything okay?]

He figured that was as good as he could get without being too persistent. He saw the message status change to read, but as seemed to be Taeil's way, there was no quick reply. He finished cleaning up his apartment, checking for a text almost every five minutes.

[LeeT 8:36pm: I have a production opening next weekend in which I sing the lead. Actually, let's cancel Saturday, too.] 

[Oh. Okay... Aside from that, are you okay?]

He still thought the wording was a bit awkward but he couldn't help but feel like there was something more than the opera bothering Taeil. Maybe this was what Jongup was talking about...

Again, his text was quickly read, but it still hadn't been answered an hour later. He had classes in the morning, so he couldn't put his life on hold to stare at the telephone. Feeling disappointed, he shut out the lights in his living room and took a shower. When he was done, there were four text notifications.

[LeeT 10:07pm: I'm sure you don't need to deal with my personal problems, however nice you are. I want to pretend you have no idea, but you're not stupid, and I haven't been nearly as professional with this mentor thing as I should have been. Exactly what are you trying to get from me?] 

[LeeT 10:19pm: Okay, that sounded harsher than I intended, but you're probably coming to expect that. I'm not saying that you're trying to get anything from me.] 

[LeeT 10:23pm: Junhong?] 

[LeeT 10:34pm: Okay. Just let me know if you'd rather I stepped out of this. I know a few people who could do a better job, and I'm sure they'd be easier to work with.] 

Junhong's eyes widened as he scrolled through. He quickly typed.

[I'm so sorry! I just took a shower! I actually think you've helped me a lot, and I enjoy talking to you when you want to talk. It's just that you've been very distant and stressed these last few weeks, and I think I said something I shouldn't have in the car yesterday. I hope we can work things out.]

He should be trying to sleep, but he piled his pillows up at the head of his bed and sat down, staring at his mobile. It buzzed.

[LeeT 10:42pm: You didn't say anything wrong. It was a reasonable observation. You were wrong, but I should have just said that rather than freaking out.] 

Junhong couldn't help but feel a little relieved. 

[It's okay, I just got worried. Thank you for talking to me. Should I plan on just seeing you Thursday?]

[LeeT 10:48pm: Yeah. Maybe not cancel Saturday? This is a really good production, especially where vocal mood is shown. Would you want to come? I know how much you love opera. You can say no without disappointing me.] 

[Okay, I want to come, then. I like opera when you sing it.]

[LeeT 10:51pm: Has anyone ever told you you're a suck up? If not, I won't either. I'll reserve a seat for you, and see you Thursday. Don't you have classes tomorrow morning? Go to sleep!] 

[Haha! Sounds great.]

[LeeT 10:55pm: Good. Now no more replies. Sleep.] 

Junhong laid his mobile on the charger pad on his bedside table and turned off his bedroom light. There were a lot of unresolved issues still hanging between him and Taeil, but he went to sleep feeling significantly more positive than he had when he woke up.


	13. "Think I'm a psychopath yet?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introducing Taeil's home...

He'd been afraid that each day would drag, but Junhong's week flew by. His dance class was beginning to get exciting, as each student planned and choreographed their own performances for recitals coming at the the start of April, so he had a lot of work and practicing to take up his time and to expend his nervous energy.

Yongguk was trying, as he often did when his accounting work was light, to book the band more gigs. Their last show had brought good reviews, but few clubs wanted to work with their space requirements, and their shows would be incomplete without full choreography.

Besides that, Yongguk seemed scattered, and couldn't be in the same room as Himchan without enduring a sniping, irritable commentary. Their long, unshakeable friendship seemed to be shaken, though neither would say what was happening, and neither said anything negative about the other.

Junhong was trying to trust their individual promises that everything would eventually work out, but he still worried. Even so, he made sure he was ready early on Thursday, knowing Taeil's timing. He was pleased with himself when the doorbell rang at 1:49 and he was already prepared to go.

Taeil was looking at his high-sided work boots when the door opened, but quickly looked up. He had a black beret pushed back on his head, and his thick black frames sliding down his nose. His hands were in the oversized pockets of his cargo pants, his tattoos somehow completely hidden by a white knit top that wasn't quite thick enough to obscure the outline of his nipple ring.

He bit the side of his bottom lip, shrugging slightly. "Think I'm a psychopath yet?"

Junhong tried not to stare at the outline of Taeil's nipple ring, looking instead at his mouth. This wasn't any better, however, and Junhong now just wanted to kiss him. He hoped that he didn't look too obvious. "No, definitely not a psycho."

"Okay, give me time, I'll get there." Taeil seemed oblivious to the struggle. He sounded like he was joking, though the humor didn't quite reach his eyes. "Yeah... Okay. The thing is, I'd rather work from the top of an electrical transformer station today than be anywhere any of my friends might visit. So... Is there anywhere you'd like to go today, or should we make the venue totally casual...?"

Junhong forced himself to focus and thought of possibilities. "Well, Himchan-hyung said that he has the kids at school working on an end of year musical, so we can't go there... Casual would probably be best."

Taeil raised his eyebrows. Now that Junhong knew one was pierced, the tiny holes were obvious even without hardware. "Okay. Casual, then... Since we're doing this honesty thing a bit better now, would it be too weird if I asked you to come home with me? I mean, to practice. I have a piano."

"Uh... No, that works. Sounds good." Junhong's internal struggle worsened. Taeil's accidental double meaning was too close to where the dirty voice in his mind had gone. He locked up his apartment and made a point of keeping Taeil's pace, as usual, listening for anything Taeil might say.

"Huh. School musicals..." Taeil looked up at him, not seeming bothered by his usual dislike of the height difference. "You know, I never did that. Kinda funny, since I basically live in a series of heavy handed, petty, baroque musicals now."

Junhong had no idea what to say to that. He was still distracted by other things, anyway, and spent the duration of his ride trying not to stare at the nipple ring he shouldn't know existed.

"Yeah, not a great shirt choice, huh?" Taeil, of course, noticed. "This is one of those moments where my friends are right, and I should maybe have a mirror near my door..."

"Himchan says mirrors are more affordable than you'd think..." Junhong grappled for a reply, tightening his lap belt so his hands wouldn't helplessly cover his face.

"Cuz money is a big issue." Taeil yawned. "Okay, that was douchey. Sorry."

Except, the building where he lived agreed with his 'douchey' statement. It was in a prime area of Gangnam, and looked like an old European-style industrial warehouse that had been restored. The car park was gated and covered with a tinted glass roof. It was subdivided into a honeycomb of separate parking units, each marked with a symbol. Taeil parked his car next to a vintage motorcycle.

He thumped Junhong's shoulder with the side of his fist. "Come on... It's just a converted silk mill. It's not that exciting."

"It's really cool." Junhong insisted. "So is that motorcycle. Is it yours?"

Taeil glanced at the motorcycle. "Yeah... But I've had it so long, you can see how bad I used to treat my vehicles. Lucky for me, BMWs are sturdy."

The car park connected to the building with a brass-gated foyer, which held a lift (that could have been used for dramatic photo shoots) and a curling pair of staircases. Taeil immediately started up a set of stairs and didn't stop until the stairs ended, five levels up. He walked to the end of the wide hall and unlocked the last door.

"Seriously, these kinds of places are more common than you'd think." Taeil insisted. He held the door open and gestured for Junhong to go ahead. "I won't bullshit here, I do kinda freak out if things get messed up, but you can still make yourself comfortable..."

The first sign that Taeil's home was not 'common': it had a foyer. None of Junhong's friends homes had foyers. Taeil's foyer had one brick wall, where the door was, and three walls made of frosted glass panels hung on slats of very old, very polished wood. 

There was a complex assembly of copper pipes and valve knobs that served as a coat rack (though neither the black canvas trench nor the denim jacket with English print down the back was familiar) and a small rosewood chest of drawers on top of a larger - though still short - camphor cabinet, next to a taller wardrobe cabinet made to match the walls.

The lamp (hanging from what looked like a two-floor ceiling) was a huge bulb wrapped in a protective cage of brass. More than a dozen hats hung like artwork from pegs scaling one wall, though Taeil didn't take off the beret he was wearing. He did remove his boots, which had a place waiting in the camphor chest.

"Shoes stay on the welcome mat." Taeil gestured toward the end of the wide sisal mat in front of his door. "This is the only part of the place that knows there's more world outside. I like to let the rest stay innocent."

Their socks were slippery on the hardwood floor as they walked into the kitchen, and Junhong couldn't resist practicing his footwork as he went. Taeil laughed and gestured toward the refrigerator. "When you're done dancing in my kitchen, I have all kinds of drinks. Help yourself."

Junhong took a cold bottle of juice and watched as Taeil opened cabinets, pointing out available snacks. The counter was one long section, it's end adapted into a desk, but there were pantry cabinets to store food and dishes. As they passed the 'desk', Junhong noticed a small stack of papers lying below the old-fashioned rotary phone. Even at that end, the kitchen smelled vaguely of sesame oil, but once they passed the surprisingly tall bar table and stools, it gave way to the scents of wood and leather.

Taeil's living room was easily four times the size of Junhong's. Just beyond his dining area was a trio of large fish tanks arranged to enclose a single, overstuffed chair. A couch and two smaller upholstered chairs were arranged in the center of the room, facing a media center with a small tv and a nice stereo. Beyond that, Taeil still had room for a baby grand piano. 

He walked to the corner behind the piano and took what looked like a classic Fender Stratocaster down from where it was hanging. "Sorry. This isn't mine. It needs to go back home, and I keep forgetting..."

He placed it on the camphor chest in the foyer and returned. He gestured toward a pair of doors. As they moved closer, Junhong saw that the first was a bathroom, complete with a freestanding soaking tub that had been adapted to include a wide shower head, a standing mirror, a cabinet that looked like cleverly stacked crates, and a coiled brass radiator - along with the usual plumbing.

"Obviously, if you need it, you don't have to ask." Taeil ducked into the second door. 

His bedroom smelled pleasantly like his cologne. Like the living room, it had big windows with rounded tops and deep sills. There were slats of wood hung as display shelves for a collection of anime figurines and miniature motorcycles, and mounted spools of wire housing even more of Taeil's hats.

Taeil didn't seem to mind Junhong looking around, and quietly ducked through the closet door. It hung open so Junhong could easily see a bar full of hanging clothing and a few chests of drawers. The closet was almost as big as Junhong's tiny bedroom and had a window in it. By that light, he could see Taeil pulling a hoodie over his shirt.

Taeil hesitated when he turned back to the doorway, staring at Junhong. His gaze shifted from Junhong to the bed, looking slightly uneasy. Maybe it was because the bed wasn't really made - the covers were folded back diagonally on one side and the pillows were compressed together.

"Oh, hey..." As if it were a surprise that Junhong had followed him so far. "We should probably get started... At the piano. ...with practicing... God. Come on." He twisted his fingers in the excess fabric at the sides of his hoodie and walked directly to the piano.

"Ah... right." Junhong turned and followed Taeil back into the living room, joining him at the piano.

Working at Taeil's flat was far more productive than Himchan's band room had been. Without interruptions, they were able to finish Junhong's vocal exercises half an hour faster than had become their usual. Taeil leaned over the piano's keys and yawned, his fingers tapping against the wood and his toes patting the floor softly.

"Ugh... Sorry." He stretched his arms over his head and stood up, taking a few steps toward the kitchen. "Do you drink coffee? Cuz I think I'd better. I have a few new things I want you to work on - even though you're already good at them. With rap and beatbox, you can never be too good at rhythm and intensity..."

"That's for sure, I'll do anything you throw at me." Junhong stood, taking the opportunity to smooth out his shirt and stretch his own arms. He smiled. "And, yeah, I drink coffee." 

"Want a cup? I have good stuff. Coffee snob stuff." Taeil disappeared from sight, around the frosted glass panels to the kitchen. He called back. "I figured if I was gonna stain my teeth, it might as well be worthwhile."

"Yeah, that'd be great, thanks!" Junhong laughed. He wandered towards the large fish tanks, drawn to the brightly coloured fish. At a closer range, the unlit central aquarium surprised him. A swarm of translucent jellyfish floated peacefully in the dark. "Your fish are really cool looking... You have jellyfish?!"

"I'm trying to." Something clattered in the kitchen and Taeil laughed. "The jellyfish are an experiment. I've never tried to keep them before, and I had an opportunity to take them on during the winter... I'm so busy now, I'm not sure it was a good idea. But... I don't want to give up and sell them yet. I've only lost one. That's pretty good. ...oh, if you turn their lights on, they look a lot more impressive. The switch is on the top left."

All three tanks seemed huge to Junhong (like everything in Taeil's apartment... Maybe everything in his life). He located the switch, and the tank lit very subtly; it was the jellyfish that seemed to glow. "Ah! So cool!"

"You are incredibly easy to impress." Taeil was closer than Junhong expected. He activated the lights on the other two tanks. "I'd make a joke here, but I'm too tired for discretion, so I won't risk hurting your mind. So... Wanna order food in?"

"Really?" Junhong watched the jellyfish.

Taeil stared at him. "No. I was bullshitting you. It's easy since I know you have a stupid appetite and could eat Tokyo. ...yes, really."

"Does that make me Godzilla, then?" Junhong angled an ornery grin toward Taeil.

"I was thinking Tetsuo in Akira, but sure. Godzilla is a lot taller. Tetsuo's kinda my size." Taeil gestured toward his desk. "There are takeaway menus in the bin near the phone. Pick one and order food."

"Ok. Thank you." Junhong wandered toward the desk, turning sideways at the bar table to allow the faster-moving Taeil to pass him. He heard the coffee being poured as he reached for the only metal bin on the desk...right next to the stack of papers, which were now obviously photos lying face-down.

A glance told him that Taeil was busy, measuring coffee into a tall glass pot. He quickly lifted the edge of the stack, fanning through the pictures like Youngjae did with playing cards during a game. That was all he needed to recognize Pyo Jihoon, in a dozen big-label outfits, with or without Taeil.

He turned his attention back to the bin. There were almost two dozen menus in it. Taeil was suddenly by his side, placing a cup of coffee near his hand. He lingered a moment, reached across Junhong's arm and picked up the photos, then dumped them into his rubbish can. "I didn't think to clean up. ...so. You can see how lazy I am by my collection."

Once Junhong settled on a restaurant, ordering was too easy - seeing as he wasn't paying. Taeil leaned into his side when address and payment information was needed, just speaking against his cheek.

"Good, now I don't have to worry about food." Taeil sipped his coffee, wandering back to his aquariums. "Now, while we're waiting... I have a challenge. Can you beatbox a 3/4 time signature?"

Most hip hop he'd done fell in 4/4, but Junhong knew music well enough to pull together a 3/4. He started simple, then began to build out the rhythm and make it more complex. Taeil was nodding, smiling. He set his coffee on a windowsill as he nodded to the beat. "Yeah! How long can you keep it going?"

Long enough for Yongguk to rap. Long enough to fill holes in their shows. Junhong started having fun with it, hooking his thumbs in his pockets and moving - just footwork - but gliding a bit. Taeil laughed again, trailing off into a melodic hum. It was somehow sweet, the way Taeil could take raw hiphop and incorporate notes that belonged in a ballad. They could make amazing music together... Junhong thought of the EP again, and began to lose his drive. 

Taeil retrieved his cup; perched in the windowsill. "Okay, what's this? What's suddenly bothering you?"

Junhong sat on the chair closest to Taeil. "I was just wondering if you'd forgotten about the EP you mentioned before."

Taeil's mouth quirked to one side. He pulled his glasses off and rubbed his left eye, scratching the area his eyebrow ring would go. "I didn't forget. No. I've been busy with the opening...and with life... I honestly considered changing the deal, but never just... No."

Yongguk's advice came to mind. He shouldn't count on any deal that was made without a contract, but he really wanted to record with Taeil. He decided to stay positive, and to trust.


	14. Rumors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junhong and Himchan attend the opera...
> 
> ...and a lot of rumors are overheard.

On Friday morning, Junhong's first class was cancelled. He went to Byun sun-seng nim's classroom early and found the door open; the few students inside familiar from his class, so he joined them. It was a good opportunity to work on lyrics.

He was brainstorming, jotting down anything that crossed his mind, when two of the girls in the room began chatting too loud to ignore. One complained about her mentor, who she felt was dismissive and demeaning in his treatment of her work. The other bragged that her mentor was deeply invested in her growth, and acted as an older brother.

The first girl immediately reprimanded the second, warning that another girl in their class had become romantically involved with her mentor, even though he was married and the father of two young children. This juicy bit of gossip became the primary focus of all talk, spreading as each student arrived.

By the time Byun sun-seng nim arrived, it was completely out of control. She cast a warning look at her students as she entered the room, and took her place at the front, waiting for the last stragglers.

She was interrupted before she could begin teaching, but for the first time since the semester started, she didn't grant permission to speak. Instead, she walked closer to the class, to address them without shouting.

"I know that there are stories right now, about an uncomfortable situation involving one of you and their mentor, and I will only respond to those rumors once, so please listen." She waited to be sure everyone was paying attention. "If the stories are true, the situation is a personal scandal for the three adults involved, not a class scandal. It is not the business of uninvolved students, and is not even my business, provided the mentorship project is completed properly."

Junhong's mobile buzzed, but he didn't dare look at it. Byun sun-seng nim was still watching the class intently. A few students tried to speak, but she shook her head. "That will be all for that topic."

When she turned her back, Junhong checked his messages.

[LeeT 11:48am: Do you think your friend Himchan would want to see the opening show Saturday evening? I could reserve two seats.]

He texted Himchan, but had to wait until almost the end of class for a reply. Having waited so long already, he respectfully waited until class was done to check.

[KimH 1:29pm: That would be nice. I need something to get my mind off everything. Please thank Taeil-ssi for me.]

A few more texts were exchanged and they were set. Himchan would pick up Junhong forty minutes before curtain, and they would have seats waiting for them, no tickets required. Unlike Taeil's habit, Himchan arrived at exactly the agreed time. He looked handsome, dressed in a violet suit and carrying a grey jacket for Junhong, in case he needed one.

Also unlike Taeil, Himchan kept his windows down, so he could smoke. He hadn't even gone three blocks when he started fussing. "I really appreciate the invitation... This has been the worst month of my life, Junie. I can't even explain it without sounding absurd."

Junhong tried to walk the line between concerned and undemanding. "I've noticed you and Yongguk are fighting... Am I allowed to know what's going on?" 

"We aren't fighting." Himchan insisted. "...and no. I told you it would sound absurd. Just trust me when I say I'll get over it. I hope. If I haven't already made him despise me."

"I don't think he despises you." Junhong assured. "....I don't think he could despise you. It doesn't seem possible."

Himchan sighed. He flicked the last of his cigarette out the window and fussed with his hair. "I'm sure it's possible. I've said some things... Ugh!"

They reached the opera house before the main car park was even half full. Himchan wouldn't let them walk inside without fixing their hair, but they were still among the first arrivals. Jihoon met them in the upper lobby, dressed in another custom suit and smelling strongly of a different, still equally expensive smelling cologne.

Junhong realized he was memorizing the scent, in case he detected it on Taeil in the future. Himchan bowed. "Good evening."

"Yes." Jihoon muttered. He gave Junhong a long, measuring look over. "If you're ready, I'll show you to your seats."

He led them to seats at the front of the audience and was immediately off to greet other arrivals. Himchan sat down cautiously, mindful of wrinkling his suit. "What was that all about? He was rude to us."

"I'm used to him." Though he'd never get used to the wrong cologne on Taeil, or hickeys...

The orchestra began to warm up, as the crowd steadily grew. A group of well dressed, ageless women sat behind them, already talking when they arrived. Junhong faced forward, trying to be polite.

"I understand that the soprano in this production is going on hiatus soon?"

"Oh, because she's pregnant?"

"Is she? She isn't married, is she?"

"No, no. And no boyfriend either, not since she broke up with that actor last year."

"Well, who do you think the father is? Maybe the tenor? You know, Lee... The one with the motorcycle and the hideous tattoos. That would be the type."

"Tattoos? In opera? Never."

"He hides them. Watch how wardrobe struggles to hide his hands."

"Tattoos or not, he can't be the father."

"Of course he could."

"Have you forgotten the scandal he starred in, six years ago? He has very strange tastes. A pretty girl like her wouldn't interest him."

"You can't assume. He was only twenty then, and not one graphic picture of him with men since. He's learned to behave like a proper man."

Expressive as he was, Junhong knew his eyes were wide. He tried to relax his face, but his eyebrows stayed up. Himchan had begun to sink in his chair, his expression wooden. He held himself close, almost cringing.

"He's twenty six and has no history of girlfriends, either. That tells me that he isn't behaving, he's hiding. Once a pervert, always a pervert."

"So talented, though."

"Yes, and at least he seems to understand that he's unnatural. He knows better than to flaunt it like an American."

"Well, that's fine, but who do you suppose the father is?"

Junhong tuned out. He nudged Himchan, who was so low in his chair he seemed shorter than Taeil. "Are you okay?"

"This is a very awkward conversation to be pinned against." Himchan barely whispered.

It was only natural that Junhong consider why the conversation would upset Himchan, who was usually unflappable among strangers. He nodded anyway. "Sorry, hyung. It is awkward."

The women continued talking, half rumor and half discussion of previous performances, until the curtain lifted and the opera began. Once singing had begun and talking was done, Himchan began to relax. He seemed surprised by Taeil, who wore stage makeup and perfectly styled hair and no glasses or hat. Like the ladies - and Taeil as well - had said, he wore gloves to hide his hands without looking sloppy.

The makeup made him look unbelievably young. Combined with his height and his sweet voice, he was believable as a tragic figure on the brink of manhood. He and the prima soprano seemed desperately in love, and wretched to be thwarted again and again by her betrothed - a baritone made up to look somewhat sick and utterly evil.

Several times, Junhong caught Taeil looking toward the area he and Himchan were sitting. The story, though impossible to fully understand, still wrung reactions from anyone paying attention in the audience. When the prima soprano delivered her final aria, Junhong held his hand over his mouth. He glanced away from the stage and noticed that Himchan was crying.

Mood. Taeil was right, of course. It transformed a long series of songs in a foreign language into an accessible demonstration of love, struggle, and loss. The audience began to migrate out of the theater, but Himchan waited. He was still sitting when the majority of the crowd had gone, and Taeil approached.

He still looked too young, too cute, too in his character, and the way he held the fabric under the pockets of his loose-fitting trousers only added to the effect. "Hey... You're still here."

"That was amazing!" Junhong hugged Taeil, maybe a bit too abruptly. Taeil froze, then relaxed into the hug just a moment before Junhong let go. "I see the mood thing you were talking about."

Himchan finally stood up. He managed a tortured looking smile. "I take back anything I said that implied doubt in your talent."

"Did you say anything like that?" Taeil shook his head. "No memory of it. ...but, there's a... ...party thing I'm expected to attend. Now, actually. I mean, in half an hour, which isn't even enough time to scrape off the paint and drive there."

"Understood." Himchan stepped back, bowing, as if to let Taeil go.

"No! No." Taeil grabbed both of them by their sleeves. "Come with me? I hate these things so much. I mean, there's a lot of good food. ...yeah, I'm really selling this, aren't I?"

Junhong laughed. "Sounds great."

Himchan was slightly more reserved, but nodded. He allowed Taeil to program the address into his mobile and promised to meet there, so Taeil could get them through the doors.

In the car, Himchan was very quiet. Junhong kept expecting him to smoke, but he didn't even do that. He considered texting Yongguk for advice, or even to ask questions again that nobody wanted to answer, but he waited it out.

Somehow, Taeil beat them to the hall. He had managed to remove his makeup, though he was still in costume. "I half expected you guys to ditch me."

"Why would we do that?" Though Junhong suspected Himchan might have.

"Ask yourself the same question once we're inside." Taeil led them into the hall, where it seemed every snob in Seoul had gathered. The crowd actually applauded as they walked in, and Taeil gave a quick, shallow bow. He muttered through his teeth. "I hate that part."

Over the next hour, he awkwardly steered them around the room, introducing his colleagues and various other important people. The prima soprano hooked her arm through his when they were together, giggling in her sweet, high voice, and if she was pregnant, it didn't show at all.

Himchan was polite; charming, even. He knew enough about music to impress people, but Junhong noticed that he barely touched the food. Whatever was going on, he was going to have to speak with Yongguk.

After almost two hours, they ran into Jihoon. Both he and Taeil went silent when faced with each other, and Jihoon unconsciously pressed his hand to his chest, where Taeil had hit him.

Taeil's hands curled into loose fists. He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth for a second. "Jihoon..."

Speaking of mood, there was too much feeling in that one word. Taeil cleared his throat. He pulled a deep breath and straightened up. Meanwhile, Jihoon looked like he was trying to find the right approach for a dangerous animal.

"Taeil-hyung." He even spoke carefully. "I didn't expect you to stay this late."

"I shouldn't have." Taeil said softly. Junhong could see the beginnings of a tremor in his hands.

Jihoon nodded. Maybe he didn't realize how rude he could be? He looked hurt and afraid. "I'll go if you're staying."

"No." Taeil was barely audible. "I'll go. I'm tired, anyway."

Himchan looked confused, but was happy enough to leave. He waited, holding back a few feet, as Taeil spoke to Junhong. 

"I'll meet with you on Tuesday, okay." He tugged a glove loose, staring at his hands.

Junhong was getting sick of feeling powerless. He took a step closer and pulled Taeil into a hug, rubbing his back. Taeil gripped the sides of his jacket, ducking his head against Junhong's chest. He was overly warm and still a bit shaky, but breathed deeply.

"Okay... I'm being kinda pathetic right now." He mumbled. ".....thanks."

Junhong reluctantly let go. He could feel Himchan staring at them. He looked down at his his hands awkwardly before looking back up to Taeil. "Okay. I'll see you Tuesday, then... Text me if anything comes up?"

"Yeah... Um..." Taeil stepped back, barely avoiding falling off the curb. He shook his head, rounded the car, and hid inside.

Himchan cleared his throat. "Ready?"

"Uh, yeah. Sorry." Because for about five minutes, Himchan hadn't existed. They walked back to his car quietly, and Himchan lit a cigarette.

He drove Junhong home without speaking, looking lost in his thoughts. When they reached the apartment building, he sighed. "I appreciate being included, Junie. I know I was poor company, but I really needed to do something tonight."

"You're always good company, eomma." Junhong leaned his head on Himchan's shoulder. "Don't stay sad, okay? We all love you. Even Yongguk."

Himchan mussed his hair. "I hope so."


	15. "Danger, danger!"

Over the next few days, Yongguk refused to answer even the simplest questions Junhong texted. He barely spoke when called, and though he kept insisting that he wasn't upset with Himchan, he obviously was. Himchan steered clear of his usual confidante, burying himself in the school musical instead of socializing.

And then there was Jongup. He suddenly had no time to hang out, even when bribed with pizza and video games. Junhong suspected he knew more about the problem than he let on, but didn't pressure him.

Daehyun had gone away to a marketing conference in Fiji, which sounded like an excuse for his entire department to relax while getting paid. Youngjae was still trapped in the process of converting a small business to a modern, tablet-based POS system.

Junhong volunteered for an extra shift at the laundromat at Sunday, only partly for the extra cash. Sitting at home alone felt depressing, and the dance rooms were closed for the day. He didn't get home until after midnight, and forgot to set an alarm.

Monday began in a panicked rush. He ran through pouring rain just to learn that the teacher of his first class was still sick and still hadn't found a substitute. Humid as it was, it took him the rest of the day to dry out. He took a hot shower when he got home, put away his mobile, and worked on lyrics and choreography.

Tuesday morning was only slightly less frantic. The rain hadn't let up, but at least he woke up on time and could walk with an umbrella to and from the bus. That didn't stop him changing into dry jeans after school. He had no idea what Taeil had planned for their meeting, but he was ready fifteen minutes early.

Only, Taeil wasn't there before two. Junhong watched the clock, finally understanding the anxiety of waiting. At 2:10, he typed a quick text to Taeil, but the doorbell rang before he tapped send. 

Not only was Taeil sopping wet, he was visibly exhausted. He stood with one shoulder against the doorframe, slight shadows under his eyes. Water clung to his hair where it wasn't covered by a beanie, and slipped down the sides of his wire glasses. It also made his thigh-length button down translucent and clingy.

"So, astonishingly, it's umbrella weather..."

"Yeah... I'll..." Junhong couldn't help but look him over. He shook his head before turning to retrieve his umbrella. "I'll bring one."

It was going to be a hard, straining day. Or at least, that's what his close fitting jeans told him. Remarkably, Taeil didn't notice the once-over. His converse made a pathetic squishing sound as he stepped back from the door. "Good... At least one of us might be spared. Do you mind working at my place again? I don't really want to wear this all afternoon."

"Go figure." Junhong nodded and stepped out into the hall, almost dropping his keys as he locked the door behind him. He tucked the umbrella under his arm and smiled at Taeil. "Sounds great! Your place is really cool, anyway."

The rain was still driving down when they reached the building's exit. Taeil stopped under cover of the porch and watched Junhong open his umbrella, then scrunched his face, hunched his shoulders, and ran for his car, shouting something incoherent as he went. He had the engine running by the time Junhong joined him.

"My poor car, I'm treating her so bad." He gathered his shirt to the side, next to the driver's door, and wrung water out of it. He was wearing the pants he usually layered under sweaters or skirts, that looked even more like leggings when soaked.

The temperature controls in the car struggled to keep the windshield clear during the drive. Taeil kept muttering to himself until they were safely parked, and after he left the car, he fetched a microfiber towel from the boot and dried his seat. Then they ascended to his flat, again by stair, even though Taeil looked like he was dragging himself up the last flight.

"Okay... You heard a lot of vocal 'mood' on Saturday. Feel up to singing to me while I change out of this?" Taeil paused, frowning down at his bare feet. "From the living room."

"Right. Yeah..." Junhong nodded even though his mind was now occupied, trying to imagine Taeil changing. He instinctively brought one hand to cover part of his face in embarrassment, before dropping it again. "Yeah I'll do that."

"Okay, start off strong. Show me aggressive..." Taeil headed toward his bedroom, but looked a bit lost when he reached the door. He made a strange little noise, like a surprised mouse, and quickly unbuttoned his dripping shirt and threw it into the bathroom before rushing through his room.

Somehow, Junhong kept singing. At least 'aggressive' was easy. Taeil hurried back through without his shirt, holding dry clothes at arm's length. He was surprisingly fit, considering his sedentary job. "Happy." He ducked into the bathroom.

'Happy' didn't quite match what Junhong was feeling, but he complied. Taeil continued calling out moods from the bathroom, and finally returned to the living room in an oversized sweatshirt and stretchy dark blue pants. "Sad." He shook his head ominously as he went directly through to the kitchen.

"Danger, danger!" He shouted over Junhong's singing, reappearing with a tiny bottle of something unsettlingly red. "Okay, stop. You're sad-song impaired. It makes my ears cringe."

Junhong stopped, thinning his eyes as he turned to look at Taeil. "How is it that I can never quite manage sad?..."

Taeil shrugged. He crouched in front of the television and opened the media chest, fishing out a blue ray. "Who knows? But, this film is absolutely bleeding sad songs, so guess what we're going to do? We're gonna watch Les Mis and sing along like high school girls. ...or I can force you to practice scales in my range until you cry."

Junhong laughed. "Let's sing along like high school girls. I'd rather not cry, however amusing that would probably look." 

Taeil kicked each of the wheels on his couch, releasing the breaking levers, and pulled it toward the television. He opened the little bottle as he locked the wheels back down. "I would never laugh at your tears. I mean... I might laugh as you fall down two flights of stairs, but not if you cry."

He drank the...whatever that was in the bottle and wrinkled his nose. "Ugh. Death."

Junhong looked between the bottle and Taeil. "What is that?"

Taeil shook the empty bottle. "This is how I maintain my youth and avoid preying upon innocent mortals... Or, it could just be something hideous from China that replenishes nutrients."

Junhong doubled over in laughter. He thought of the nutrition drinks Yongguk enjoyed, which immediately led to consideration of such drinks' 'uses'... Preying upon innocent mortals. "It's more fun to say the first, though!"

"Yes!" Taeil set the bottle in the corner of a windowsill with two others, briefly considered them, and shook his head. He picked up the remote from the now too-distant side table and nudged the couch with his hip as he queued the film. "If you need to pee, go now. This is opera long."

"Right." Junhong did as he was told, feeling a little like a kindergartener on a field trip. When he returned, he flopped on the couch, taking up more than half of the space.

"Comfortable?" Taeil teased. He perched on the other side of the couch and started the film. "Okay... You don't have to sing along, but... You know, if the need hits you. I live in a musical anyway. ...and I seriously can't help myself sometimes. Don't judge me."

"I won't. My friends and I do this, too." Making a little room encouraged Taeil to sit properly on the couch. Junhong half watched the movie while simultaneously watching Taeil.

As he'd warned, Taeil sang quietly with a few parts, but he grew quieter as the story unfolded. By the time Fantene was living on the streets, he was leaning against Junhong's side. By the time Cossette was a young woman, he was asleep.

Junhong turned slightly, letting Taeil unconsciously tuck closer. He squirmed his feet under Junhong's thigh and curled around his own legs, leaning against Junhong's chest. He was warm and solid, though still small, and he clenched his fingers in Junhong's shirt while sleeping. 

His glasses looked uncomfortable, pushed to an awkward angle where Taeil's head was resting against Junhong's chest. Junhong carefully removed them, expecting Taeil to wake, though he didn't. Even when Jean Valjean was dying, even when the credits started rolling, he kept sleeping.

The disc reverted to its main menu. Junhong looked at the remote on Taeil's other side. He looped an arm around Taeil, steadying both of them as he reached across him in an attempt to acquire the remote. Taeil mumbled, reached one hand up to Junhong's hair and brought their faces closer, his breath on Junhong's lips.

Then his eyes went wide and he startled, falling off the couch. Junhong forgot the remote, lunging to catch Taeil but instead smacking into him. Their heads collided, and Junhong fell on top of Taeil on the floor.

Pinned down, Taeil lay staring up at Junhong. One hand flattened against Junhong's chest, not quite pushing him, while the other clung to the beltloop at his hip. "....I should drive you home."

That wasn't happening. Encouraged by the grip on his hip, Junhong pressed their mouths together. Taeil tugged at his beltloop, wrapping his other arm around Junhong to hold on to the fabric between his shoulders. He deepened the kiss, licking into Junhong's mouth.

Though it had never been an issue before, Junhong was suddenly keenly aware of how much bigger he was than Taeil. His weight alone could probably pin Taeil down. He wrapped both arms around Taeil and pulled him closer, off the floor and into his lap.

He hadn't really thought that through. Because that meant Taeil was straddling his hips, still kissing him, and Junhong's hormones thought this was much better. It was impossible to ignore that they were both hard. He let his hands drop to Taeil's bottom, pressing their bodies tighter together.

Taeil pulled back. He caught Junhong's hands, holding them at his sides as he made a little space between them. "Yeah... I should definitely get you home."

And that made Junhong think of Taeil running away, putting invisible walls between them. Just like the last time they kissed. He held on to Taeil's hands. "I don't want to go home."

"Junhong..." Taeil sighed. He thumped his head against Junhong's chest. "No. This isn't a debate."

Junhong's dick didn't think it was, either. He tried to think with his brain, instead, which wasn't easy with Taeil still so close. He managed to get his arms around Taeil, though that meant pinning Taeil's arms. "If I go home now, it might be worse than last time. That sucked, Taeil. Please talk to me."

Taeil exhaled a little whine. He twisted slightly, but it was easy to hold him still. "Oh, for... Fine. Okay? Fine, we'll talk, but not sitting on the floor with my hands held behind my back."

Junhong hadn't realized he was doing that. He let go. "Sorry. ...I didn't mean to do that."

Taeil stood up, immediately putting distance between them. Wearing such a big sweatshirt, it was impossible to tell if he was even half as uncomfortable as Junhong still was. He looked toward the kitchen. "Right. Okay... Um, I forgot how long that movie is..."

Not the reason they'd agreed to talk. Junhong fixed what he hoped was a disappointed and loving look on him. He'd seen enough of those to emulate one. "That's not what we need to talk about."

Taeil looked like he'd expected to be cut short. He backed into one of the smaller chairs and pulled his legs up, hugging his knees. "Okay... Talk. About what, exactly?"

"Well.. You've tried to kiss me twice, and now I've kissed you..." Junhong didn't bother getting up off the floor, he just leaned against the couch.

Taeil looked away. "I think we both know that. What needs said? I'm sorry?"

"What? No! Really?" Junhong pushed away from the couch, crawling over to Taeil's chair and pulling him close. Taeil didn't resist when he kissed him again, though it was less desperate than before. Junhong stayed close when he broke the kiss. "Neither of us are sorry. So maybe that's what needs talked about, why we're not sorry, but you think we should be?"

Taeil sighed. He folded his arms between them. "You have no idea how jacked my head is right now... I mean, I know I'm an amazing actor and a polite guy in general, so obviously it never shows, but I'm not in my best mental space..."

Junhong thought of the stack of photos that might still be in the wastebin. "Wait... Is this about Jihoon? Because I'm not sure I believe that you were never dating."

"Yeah, Jihoon isn't something I want to discuss right now." Taeil tried to pull away.

Junhong let him. "Oh... I see."

"No, you don't see. Okay?" Taeil crawled over the arm of the chair, moving to the windowsill instead. "I refuse to believe that you understand that particular mess, because Jihoon is supposed to be my best friend, and I've seriously fucked that up. Which is, by the way, par for the course, because that's what I do."

He gathered up the empty bottles and held them between his fingers, staring outside.

"...So, I don't know why I'm not properly sorry about kissing you, because it's stupid and will only end in disaster. You're young, you might not know how this kind of thing plays out, but I've been around this particular block." He carefully set the bottles back down, pushing them away from himself along the flat limestone sill. "I saw who was sitting behind you Saturday night. I'm sure they said something. ...They always do."

Junhong saw all the little tells. Taeil was getting easier to read. He followed to the window, moving the bottles back to their corner. "I don't care what those ladies said. I don't like you just because you're so amazingly talented. I think you're cool but still really cute, unique and unexpectedly kind underneath your armor. You're honest in a dishonest world, which is something really rare, and you're forgiving and dedicated and...unbelievably sexy."

Taeil leaned into him, holding on again, like he always seemed to do. "God. ....This isn't a fair fight." He sniffed, not looking up at Junhong. "I don't know how to fight with people who are nice."

"We don't have to fight?" Junhong rubbed his back. "We could just talk."

For a few minutes, Taeil just held on to him. Then he nodded against his collar. "......okay. If that's what you want, we'll talk... But seriously, we should get food. You're always hungry, and I'm barely alive today. I almost count as a zombie."

Junhong chuckled. "A very cute zombie."

"Somebody already ate your brain." Taeil groused. He held on to Junhong's shirt even as he walked toward the kitchen. "Come on. Let's eat something before I completely ruin your appetite."


	16. 'Love' is a big word

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taeil asks Junhong to consider the impact of what he's trying to do with his life...

Their dinner order wasn't excessive that evening, but Taeil ate slowly and carefully, seeming lost in thought. He ate less than what Junhong had observed was his usual, and took a little time afterward to clean away not only the takeaway packages, but any other rubbish in his livingroom, including the three bottles in the window.

When he was finally done, he took Junhong's hand and led him to the couch, where they sat facing each other. Junhong knew he was watching expectantly and brought Taeil's hand to his mouth. He smiled, aiming for encouragement, and kissed the unmarked skin at the base of his thumb.

Taeil disentangled their fingers, brushed his fingers against Junhong's jaw, then folded his hands on his own thigh. "Okay... Before I say anything else, let's agree that no matter what happens, your class project comes first. It's the real reason we're here today, and it needs to remain the most important thing that happens between us until it's finished. That includes recording and producing the EP."

Junhong nodded.

"Maybe we should draft a project plan and sign it?" Taeil proposed. "That would be understandable, considering what an unpredictable pain in the ass I've been, and is probably best."

"Yeah, that would be a good idea." Junhong thought of Yongguk's advice before.

"Good. I'll have that next time we get together." Taeil seemed satisfied with his answer. "Beyond this semester and the vocal class, you need to be very aware of your goals. Seriously. Where are you going with your life? I want to know right now so I can see if you start slacking off, because I will not be the thing that derails you. You're still at university, you have a band, I know nothing about your family... Tell me."

Junhong sighed, thinking. "Well, I'm hoping to become a professional dancer. It'd be great if the band also succeeded but, as you said earlier, I know it's a shot in the dark. I'm looking into opportunities with a couple studios and I've already contacted them so hopefully that works out. I will continue to work hard."

"When it comes to my family, I think I'm very lucky. Everyone has their flaws but my family has been very understanding and supportive of my decisions so far. So... " He felt like he was rambling. "Anything else?"

"Dance, huh?" Taeil nodded slowly. "That makes sense. You're always dancing... You're really good. Um, I did research you, just so you know. I found videos of a few dance performances after the zoo thing. I was trying to figure you out a bit..."

Junhong tried not to smile too awkwardly, feeling simultaneously pleased and guilty that Taeil looked him up. He still hadn't looked up any of Taeil's performances even though he knew he should. "I'm sorry for not looking you up... I'll have to do that."

"You went to Saturday's opening..." Taeil shrugged. "You don't even like opera. For people who aren't fans it's all the same: constipated little people in weird clothes, screaming overly emotional songs. You don't have to look me up."

"Sure, but you're nice to watch even if the rest isn't and you don't scream." Junhong chuckled. "Also, you said that you do other music..."

"...I do a lot of theater, actually. But I don't know if you're a big fan of that, either." Taeil gestured dismissively. "More importantly, how would you expect a relationship with me would work? I'm going to say right from the start that I won't even try to hide it..."

He looked defensive as he continued. "Every time I've ever loved somebody, they've asked me to hide it. I can't do that again. I have too many people who already know...about me, and they speculate about all of my connections. I wasn't old enough to play that game the first time and the fact that I tried just made the aftermath uglier."

"No, makes sense. I don't think I could hide a relationship either..." Junhong tried to reassure him while thinking about it, himself.  
"I think that's how it would need to be in order to work, though. It might be best to not even try to hide anything and just be honest... Right?"

"I think so." Taeil looked uncertain, though. "...but even honesty is risky. Admitting to liking another guy is borderline still, and letting people know you sleep together is like hanging a flipping albatross around your neck. The law protects our jobs and our homes, but nothing else, and only since 2011."

"That came one year after my life took a shit. My family barely talks to me, and there are people I deal with every day who feel justified treating me like a freak." He said it without emotion, but his hand was restlessly scrabbling along the side of his thigh. "If I could change myself, I would have six years ago, when I was twenty and couldn't even find a place to live after my first relationship was outed and he dumped me. Back then, you could be denied housing, labeled a threat to healthy families... Some people still think people like me should be handled that way."

"Yeah, some do, you're right. But Korea is growing. Things will get better." Junhong took Taeil's hands again, holding them against his chest. "Besides, if I feel this way about you now, I wouldn't want to hide it if we were together."

Taeil curled his fingers around Junhong's, staring at their joined hands. "Korea is growing very slowly. I could still lose my job over Jihoon."

Junhong felt that whatever Taeil did with Jihoon, it was not worth this. "Seriously? How?"

"I probably shouldn't even talk about him...but if you really think you want to get involved with me, you should know." Again, he carefully pulled his hands free. "I didn't lie to you. Jihoon was never my boyfriend. He isn't gay... Hell, he isn't even bi. He's pansexual, so it's not that a particular gender excites him. Specific people excite him."

"...but, he's very aware of his family's social circle, so when he likes a guy it can't be anything serious, and he's different with friends than he is in public." Was Taeil justifying the guy? He seemed to be. "I'm sure he'll eventually marry a nice girl, and he'll do anything he can to love and take care of her. She'll have a good life, as long as she has his parents' approval, and can accept that he's been raised to think about himself first. But, she'll need to accept that Jihoon will want to put her first, but he just doesn't know how."

"Are you justifying him?" Junhong was trying not to get annoyed. "You just said that you could lose your job because of him." 

"I don't know...maybe?" Taeil seemed almost as annoyed with his admission as Junhong was. "But, if you're wondering, I'm not in love with Jihoon. I used to be, but there have been too many bad decisions and it reached a point a few years ago that it hurt too much to cling to stupid delusions."

He hurried on. "But, yes, we used to sleep together. It was a colossally stupid idea. I should've known better, but three years ago I would've given Jihoon anything and everything, so I did. Whatever. It's over. Obviously. Only, the fact that we were best friends first makes it hard to just walk away, and since we work at the same place.... Well, you saw how he's acting now. People are already guessing that I did something to him. There's talk...."

"Well..." Instead of focusing on Jihoon himself, he tried to calm down and think about what Taeil could do now. He couldn't think of anything. "There has to be something you can do... Right?"

Taeil shrugged. "Considering I've been Jihoon's friend for five years, I should be able to guess what the man will do, but I can't. I really care about him, but I have to accept that he's spontaneous and emotional, he doesn't always know when to quit, and he'll say or do anything to stay good with his parents... And his parents are big sponsors of the arts center..."

"It's not as big a shitshow as when my first relationship blew up, but it's bad enough to worry me. I keep hoping I'm overreacting." Taeil admitted.

"Ah, that makes sense." Junhong nodded, trying to understand. He was still wondering about Taeil's first relationship, even more so now that he knew it was worse than how Jihoon was acting. "If you don't mind me asking... What happened in your first relationship? One of the ladies at the opera made it sound like you were a victim but I don't really trust what I heard them say..."

"I guess it depends on your point of view..." Taeil made a face. "They were probably thinking about the age gap. They'd think Jihoon was my victim, and you...Jesus. That'll be a circus if we get together. ...Jaewon was twenty nine when we broke up. I was your age."

"Well, that means you're three years younger than he was then." Junhong reasoned. "Besides, if you were my age then, you weren't that young."

Taeil looked at his hands awkwardly. "Yeah... We'd been together almost three years. When I moved in with him I was barely eighteen and I thought I had everything figured out. I'd already decided to rebel, thinking I could face anything anybody threw at me. I had no idea. That's why I want you to seriously think things through..."

"I am. I really do understand, it's just that I don't want to give up just because what I want to do is challenging." Junhong smiled reassuringly. "I hope I don't stress you out by saying this, but I've been falling really fast for you. You're already very important to me."

Taeil didn't look stressed. He looked emotional. "....do you seriously think your family will be understanding when you tell them that? Because, if they look me up, they'll get a lot of bad news. That would be hard for anyone's parents to accept."

"Yeah. My family has accepted a lot." Junhong fidgeted, staring at his hands for a moment before looking back up at Taeil. "They still worry about the direction I'm going with my career goals, but they support me. I'm sure they'll do the same with me falling in love."

Taeil winced. "Love is a big word to use." He pulled a leg up and hugged his thigh. "I want you to spend a few days thinking it over and figure out if you really wanna do this. Talk to your friends. Soul search. Imagine life as an outcast. Do research! Find out what my public image looks like and decide if you want to wear that dead bird. Because you're sweet... You're gorgeous... I like being with you, but I don't want to ruin you. Okay?"

Junhong nodded. "Okay."

Taeil reached across the couch and meshed their fingers together. He shifted closer, laying his head on Junhong's shoulder. Junhong took the opportunity to pull them back together. Taeil fit perfectly against him...

"I'll call a taxi to take you home." Taeil mumbled against his neck. He crawled off Junhong's lap and headed toward the kitchen, and Junhong followed him. He wrapped his arms around Taeil's waist and rested his cheek against Taeil's head while he spoke to the taxi dispatch.

Taeil hung up. "The taxi will be here in ten minutes. You should get ready."

He walked with Junhong to the foyer and stood quietly watching as he put on his still-wet shoes. Taeil was holding on to the sides of his shirt again.

Junhong rubbed his damp palms on the legs of his jeans and took Taeil's hands. "I'm only leaving because you want me to." He leaned in for another kiss.

Taeil made a stifled sound and pressed closer. He licked Junhong's bottom lip, then pulled back. "I shouldn't say this, but on a purely reactive level, I really want you to stay. But it's important that you make the best decision for yourself, away from me."

He opened the door and waited, holding it with his body. "By the time you get downstairs, the taxi should be here. Don't text me. I'll be there on Saturday. Just think, and put your own needs first."

Walking down the stairs, Junhong wondered if anybody had ever put Taeil first.


	17. Overdue research

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junhong finally looks up Taeil, as he tries to make the best decision about his future...and his heart.

Junhong woke up hours before his alarm on Wednesday. After trying and failing at falling back asleep, he sat up. He rubbed his eyes before retrieving his phone from the bedside table and deactivating the alarm.

Officially, he hadn't done anything yet that should change the way he related to his friends, but Junhong already felt distanced from the people he held most dear. He couldn't talk to his friends, since they were all either busy or refusing to talk for undisclosed reasons. And then there was his family...

Although he felt that they would be accepting, he also knew it wouldn't be a great idea to bring up the topic of Taeil around his parents or hyung either. Not yet. However open minded and understanding, they were unlikely to give him unbiased advise, and he didn't want to deal with the challenge of explaining his feelings until he and Taeil were together.

Time without friends or family had come to represent potential time with Taeil. Not now, though, since he'd told Junhong not to text him this week and that he'd see him Saturday. This ban on communication had bothered Junhong when it was made, but upset him even more once he realised that Taeil meant they wouldn't meet on Thursday.

He was going to have to work out his feelings about getting further involved with Taeil, and he was stuck doing so completely alone. Even worse, he still had classes and work to fill his day, even if his mind was racing fruitlessly after Taeil.

With his mind in a constant state of consideration and worry, Junhong felt stressed and distracted throughout the day. He knew he wasn't putting forth his best effort at class or at work, but he still made a point of being productive.

Between studio time for his dance class and the late shift he worked that day, he was exhausted by the time he got home. Unlike that morning, he fell asleep immediately after dropping onto his couch, legs extending past the armrest.

When Junhong woke up again, he could see light through his curtains and a quick glance at his phone told him it was already past eleven a.m. There was no point trying to catch his class that day, so he made himself a simple breakfast and settled back down on the couch with his mobile and a pair of headphones. 

Though he hadn't listened to the songs yet, he was already grateful to Kyung for supplying them. As Taeil had said, there was a variety of music ranging all the way from opera to rock. While listening to his colab with Taeil, he kept smiling, thinking back to how much fun it was to record. Then his mind wandered off, considering the upcoming recordings and being in such a small space with Taeil again.

Now that he knew what Taeil's lips felt like against his and how well they fit together in general, it was hard not to think about. 

Junhong stood and stepped toward his small desk to retrieve his laptop. Taeil's performance videos were even more impressive and in some of the older clips he looked startlingly young to have such a powerful voice. So far, Junhong hadn't found any of the bad things Taeil had mentioned.

He pulled up a new tab and ran a general search of Lee Taeil. That was when he started to find things. It turned out that Taeil was Korean eighteen when he started getting big parts in opera. He looked all of fifteen, though, appearing tiny and cute in comparison to his generally more robust male colleagues.

There were also many photos of him in theatrical roles. Junhong's attention was drawn particularly to a photo of him wearing what looked like moss and bark, a wreath of leaves and flowers in his hair, playing the role of puck from a Midsummer Night's Dream. The caption placed it in 2010.

Another, slightly more recent play, cast him as some kind of self-destructing android. Taeil's eyes had been exaggerated with black and silver kohl and clever costuming had transformed his arms into believable metal and wires where they were bared by his close-fitting leather uniform.

There were dozens of opera and theater pictures to filter through, but those two productions stood out in particular. Besides performances, there were many media photos of Taeil. Most of these were opportunistic snapshots - riding his motorcycle, catching fish, and even a couple disparagingly captioned photos him getting a tattoo.

It was among the pictures with fish that he first began seeing a particular man, often close by the insanely young-looking Taeil. When he selected these pictures, his browser began suggesting related images also including the same man. 

The titles on several of the suggested images used sensationalized language that Junhong could immediately connect to petty news sites. He discarded those he recognized as rags and followed a few links that led to sites his friends and family would consider trustworthy and respectable. He hadn't considered how cruel even normal news teams could be when presenting something they felt justified scorning.

The first site painted Taeil as a weak victim held captive by a brutish but cunning older man, Jeon Jaewon; who was identified as a successful corporate lawyer. It featured photos that seemed to agree with the reporter's view: Taeil seeming tiny and pretty - possibly airbrushed - leaving an artfully modern townhouse with Jaewon, who possessively gripped the back of Taeil's belt or the collar of his jacket, depending upon the photo.

The second site took a very different approach. It claimed that Taeil was a seductive juvenile delinquent who had run away from home seeking Jaewon's money and influence. It showcased mostly pictures of Taeil in stage makeup, looking vaguely feminized and ethereal. There was also a sequence of shots taken from a distance in a wealthy part of Seoul.

Taeil's hair was wet, and he must have been cold because his face was pale and his ears were pinkish. His mouth looked almost red, the bottom lip pulled between his teeth as he watched Jaewon. 

Despite what the site claimed, Junhong noticed that Taeil looked more miserable than seductive. One of his hands was being held, while the other was tangled into the fabric at the side of his too-light coat. Junhong frowned, clicking back to a different site.

Even outside the 'scandal' of his sexuality being revealed in 2010, there were dozens of articles that discussed him. Those usually surrounded his work, but about half of them mentioned his preferences in at least some vague way. When he became the principle tenor at the opera house, the committee for youth and family morality argued that he was a 'threat to healthy families'. Somehow, the fact that he was an artist eventually made disdainful tolerance possible.

However, speculation had never stopped. There were rumor forums that still invited locals to consider his 'relationships' with a variety of men, including Minhyuk and Jiho. There was a blog that still followed him (and a few other 'known perverts'), and had pictures of Jihoon and, to Junhong's surprise, him. There was an unexpectedly suggestive group of photos of him and Taeil sitting on the hood of the car, outside the noodle shop.

Junhong slowly closed his laptop as he processed. Even with all that, his feelings for Taeil hadn't diminished in the slightest. He couldn't help but feel annoyed with both the news website's and Jaewon's apparent mistreatment of Taeil. 

Between the visibly unhealthy dynamic of the his first relationship and the constant discrimination, Junhong began to genuinely wonder if anyone else had ever loved Taeil. Good god, was he actually the first to see how amazing Taeil was? Junhong thinned his eyes, sending futile glares to unnamed and unknown people across the country. 

He wanted to send a text to Taeil, but didn't. Taeil had specifically forbade any communication between them, as if Junhong couldn't think about his own needs when Taeil was available. He sighed at the overprotectiveness of such logic.

Maybe similar searches had been enough to put off prospective friends or lovers in Taeil's past. He had no way of knowing, but for him there was no revulsion. Instead, he wanted to comfort Taeil, who obviously judged himself, at least somewhat, based upon the things others said.

Taeil had said it was too big a word, but Junhong suspected that what he felt really was love, even if only the beginning of it.


	18. "I want to try"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junhong makes his choice.

Although the rainy spell had passed and was followed by a series of cool, bright days, Taeil was even later on Saturday than he had been Tuesday. Junhong sent a text at 2:16 and tried not to worry. He paced the length of his apartment until his mobile buzzed.

[LeeT 2:21pm: Sorry. I'm almost there. Miscalculated the amount of time I needed...]

Junhong had no idea what that implied, but decided to take it at face value. He still had too much nervous energy to sit, however, and was beside the door when the bell rang. Taeil seemed startled to have the door open so quickly. He stepped back, eyes wide, and glanced down the hall, where one of Junhong's neighbors was fussing with a basket of laundry, probably bound for the washers in the basement.

"Hey." Taeil sounded false-casual. He made no moves to enter. "I was thinking we could walk down to the park... There's an underpass with good acoustics. We should see what you can do with that setting..."

So, they weren't talking yet. Junhong nodded, "Um, okay..." He grabbed a jacket and headed out. He wanted to talk, to tell Taeil what he'd decided, but he could tell that Taeil was conflicted.

His BMW wasn't parked by the street. Junhong wondered what that meant as they walked in silence, but he pushed it from his mind when they reached the underpass. It was a familiar place. He'd been coming there with his skateboard since he moved into his apartment, but he'd never really given any thought to the sound quality.

A few young men sat under the girders of the bridge, smoking together, and they watched as Taeil launched into scales, but they soon lost interest. Occasionally, part of the practice regained their attention. They were especially attentive when Junhong rapped, or if he started beatboxing.

Taeil perched on a horizontal beam and listened, nodding from time to time or gesturing to change the tempo. He sang out reference notes as needed, so perfectly that the lack of a piano was no impediment. Only, Junhong thought he looked distant. He kept watching Taeil's hands and his mouth, trying to read him.

By the time they were finished, Junhong felt half frozen. He hadn't dressed warm enough for hours in the shade, barely moving. Taeil was wearing the trench coat from his foyer and a wool beret, but who knew what was underneath. His ears were pink edged, and he kept folding his arms close.

Junhong tried to walk exactly at his side, leaning down slightly sideways, toward Taeil. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Taeil dismissed, and Junhong was certain he was lying. He kept tugging at the buttons below his coat pocket...

Junhong sighed softly. It wasn't the first time he'd seen Taeil act like this, suddenly distant and forcibly calm. Junhong was thankful that at least now he could tell when Taeil was feeling differently from how he acted, but he wished that Taeil would trust him a bit more. "You know, I can tell that something's wrong... Please talk to me."

The look Taeil gave him was cautious. He shook his head. "We wrapped up the show last night. It was a good week; good ticket sales, good reviews, you know? That should help a lot, but... I've been dropped from the cast of the next show. That's the last opera of this season, so it's about one fifth of my pay for the year... I mean, I've got savings. It'll be okay... Just, I don't know if they're keeping me on for next season. It's all hanging on the investigation."

He didn't even slow as they entered the apartment building, and started climbing faster than his normal pace when they reached the stairs. "I don't know if I'm more angry or more worried, but I know this is my own fault. No matter how many years pass, I still do stupid things..."

Junhong hoped he wasn't being grouped among the 'stupid things' Taeil thought he'd done. He thought about it as he unlocked his door, and made up his mind to convince Taeil to come inside.

Junhong thought about how Taeil hadn't come inside that morning. Although the corridor was empty, Taeil lingered by the door. Junhong grappled for something to convince Taeil to enter, but he couldn't come up with anything. "Want to sit and talk?"

The direct approach seemed to work, though Taeil kept his coat on and stopped within ten feet of the door. His hands followed the unused belt connected to his coat, pulling it forward, then letting it fall again. "I'm sorry. I'm scattered today and... God, this calls for a bad joke or something but... I'll be more professional next time."

Junhong thought of professional Taeil. He never wanted to deal with that emotional distance again. He stepped into Taeil's space, pulling him closer and pressing a kiss to his mouth. Taeil titled his head to the side, pushing past Junhong's lips with his tongue. He slipped his hands inside Junhong's jacket and around him, splaying his fingers over the rise of his spine.

And then he pulled back again. He held on to two fistfuls of Junhong's shirt and looked him in the eyes. "Tell me you put a lot of thought into this, then tell me what you decided, because there's no going forward from here without taking damage... I wish there was, but... I need you to be absolutely certain, or we should just play it safe. ...and stop doing this kind of thing."

Junhong inhaled deeply, pressing his hands into Taeil's lower back. "I know. I thought about it a lot; I know how mean people might be. I don't care. I want to try."

Taeil let Junhong press them together. He exhaled a shaky breath and let go of the fabric in his hands, sliding his palms down Junhong's sides to his waistband and stopping just a little below it. He held on to Junhong's hips and pushed himself up on his toes, forcing their bodies together as he stretched for another kiss.

Junhong was quickly learning to kiss Taeil's way. He nipped at Taeil's lips, followed his tongue with his own. The chill that had lingered on their faces was gone, and their coats needed to go as well. Junhong didn't care so much about his own, which hung open, but Taeil's was suddenly a priority.

Taeil seemed to have given up on tiptoes already and trailed open mouthed kisses down the side of Junhong's neck. He moved where Junhong directed him, helping with the buttons on his coat and shrugging it off once open, letting it fall at his feet.

He was wearing the same white knit shirt that didn't hide his nipple ring. It had been torture before, seeing Taeil in that shirt, but this time Junhong was confident that he could touch. He peeled off his jacket, following Taeil's arms with his hands, all the way to his shoulders and down his back again.

Why did this man wear shapeless clothing? Junhong followed the deep curve of Taeil's spine; spread his fingers to get hold of his ass. Taeil was stretching for kisses again and the angle was inconvenient, so Junhong just hauled him up against himself.

Taeil squeaked. "No! No, don't do that." He squirmed free, backing further into the tiny living room and falling onto the couch. "Ah! Jesus! This place is too freaking small!"

Mirth and desire mixed in Junhong's abdomen. He smirked, kneeling on the couch near Taeil's legs. "You could just tell me to put you down. You didn't have to try to run away."

"I wasn't..." Taeil stopped himself. He reached for Junhong, encouraging him to lean down a little. "Come here..."

Junhong crawled over him. He tried to be cautious, to avoid putting too much weight on Taeil, but when Taeil relaxed his thighs, letting Junhong settle between them, his hips rolled down automatically. He braced one forearm against the couch, above Taeil's head, and slid the other hand up inside Taeil's shirt.

He could feel the physical jolt that went through Taeil when his thumb found the nipple ring. Just rubbing across it made Taeil shudder and gasp. He squirmed, pulling one leg up against Junhong's side so their lower bodies came together far more suggestively, whining softly against his mouth.

It was the most basic instinct to try for more. Taeil was hard and panting, holding on with his leg as Junhong rutted against him. With the grace and strength he'd gained from years of dancing, it was easy for Junhong to use one leg to push Taeil's lower body a little higher off the couch, even better aligned...

"Wait." Taeil struggled. "Wait. God. Junhong..."

Nothing had ever been more difficult than stopping himself right at that moment. Junhong forced himself to lie still, pressing his face against the comfortable swell of Taeil's shoulder. He inhaled deeply, held his breath for five seconds, and exhaled. "...yes?"

"Too fast." Taeil shuddered, dragging Junhong's hand out of his shirt. "Way too fast."

Junhong seriously regretted owning so many pairs of snug jeans. He pushed his hips against Taeil and held still, feeling his pulse in his dick. "Is it?"

Taeil's hands moved to Junhong's chest, held flat like a small barrier. "Let me up. ...Please."

That was only slightly less difficult than stopping had been. Except when Taeil slithered out from underneath him, there was a panicky edge to his movements that instantly sobered Junhong. He sat up, adjusting himself so his pants weren't quite so uncomfortable, and watched Taeil disappear into the bathroom.

"Taeil?" The door wasn't fully closed, so Junhong followed. His bathroom was too small for two men, but he edged through the doorway anyway.

Taeil had his back to the corner, his head down, viciously wiping away tears. He shook his head at Junhong, biting his lip. "It's okay... God. I'm embarrassing myself.... I just need a minute, okay?"

Junhong shoehorned himself into the small space, wrapping his arms around Taeil. He couldn't guess if he'd done something terribly wrong or if this was a reaction to all the stress in Taeil's life, or if it was something for which he had no frame of reference.

"I'm sorry." Taeil mumbled against his chest. "I always start us off wrong, don't I? God... Are you okay? Turns out I'm also a dicktease, huh?"

"I already knew that." Junhong tried to make light of the situation. He rubbed Taeil's back, keeping his hands to family-friendly areas. "...I'm okay."

Taeil managed a soggy huff of a laugh. He washed his face, a bit awkwardly with Junhong still holding on to him, and they returned to the livingroom. Beyond the window, the city was darkening toward night.

Junhong sat at one side of the couch and Taeil perched on the nearer arm, propping his legs over Junhong's. "...I still need to walk back home."

Maybe he'd spent too much time with Yongguk, because Junhong automatically did the math. "You walked here? That's more than a two hour walk... And it's getting dark."

Taeil shrugged. He picked at one of many loose strings around a hole in his pant leg. "Yeah. It seemed like a good idea this morning." He sighed, leaned into Junhong when offered his arms. After a few minutes in a sideways hug, he slid down into Junhong's lap.

"I could walk you home..." Not that he wanted Taeil to leave yet, but at least their time together would be extended by a few hours and Junhong would be sure he got safely back to his flat.

"No." Taeil pinched him, albeit very lightly. "Then I'd be forced to drive you home or call a cab. Might as well just swallow my pride and call a cab from the start. It'll be uploaded to at least three blogs as a booty call, but there's no helping that... If only they knew I forgot my lube and condoms at home..."

Junhong's face heated. "Um.... Oh."

"God. I was joking." Taeil looked away, his ears pink. He slid further, off Junhong's lap, and curled up on the couch, resting his head on Junhong's thigh.

Of course, their new position led Junhong's mind to somewhere just as dirty as where the last comment had taken him. He tried to banish the thought of sex, in any of its manifestations.

He wasn't sure Taeil needed to be pulled back to another subject that caused anxiety, but it would be best to face it head-on. "...so, what are you going to do about your job and the investigation?"

Taeil hummed a soft sound of confusion, then sighed. "I don't know. I can't talk to Jihoon. I've already tried. So, I guess I'll just try to stay calm in public and look at my other options. It doesn't hurt to be prepared for the worst. I mean, there's always the theater. It wouldn't be a breach in my opera contract if they decide to keep me, and the theater never dropped me before, not even right after the crap with Jaewon..."

He seemed to give that a little thought, then scoffed softly. "I was a lot younger then, though... Not that I'm a grampa or anything, but I'm not as easy to paint up as I used to be..."

Junhong recalled the pictures he found of Taeil playing puck. He thought Taeil was probably just as easy to make up now as he was then. He looked like a boy in his last opera... "I think you're-"

"Cute. I know." Taeil rolled his eyes. "I genuinely appreciate that you feel so attracted to me, but most other people disagree. I'm a short guy with small eyes. I think I made a deal with the devil in utero and sold everything else so I could have my voice."

"I don't know..." Junhong brushed his fingertips across Taeil's cheek. "...from what I've felt, you still ended up with an impressive dick."

Taeil laughed, turning his face against Junhong's thigh. "Says a guy who has nothing small about him."

Junhong brushed Taeil's hair off his forehead, following his eyebrow with one finger, back along the leg of his glasses to his almost-pointed ear. He considered the deeper meaning of what they'd said and done in the last half hour. "Taeil? Since I've made up my mind, what would you say is going on between us? Is this just mutual attraction or are we dating?"

Taeil rolled onto his back, so he could look directly at Junhong. His brows pulled together in something close to a glare. "Yeah, I guess that's a good question. But, I already told you how I need my relationships to work. I need all or nothing. I'd rather be burned at the stake than quietly swallow arsenic in hiding. ...But you're the one who has a lot to lose, not me."

"I don't want to lose you." Junhong slid his hand to the center of Taeil's chest, feeling his heartbeat. "But, can I call you my boyfriend?"

Taeil pulled his lip between is teeth. His breathing stuttered, and he looked a bit teary again. "Yeah. 'Boyfriend' would be really nice."

Junhong twisted on the couch, folding around Taeil. He shifted until the were both comfortable, tangled up in each other, Taeil's face in his collar and his knee between Taeil's thighs. He was resisting the urge to push too far again when his stomach rumbled.

Taeil's mouth moved against his neck. "...we haven't eaten."

"Oh..." Junhong shifted back, so he could see Taeil's face. "You forgot too."

Taeil scrunched his nose. "Okay, stepping out of the mentor role and speaking as your equal here, I forget all the time. Min figured it out once and I eat real meals about eight times a week..."

"I hear that's really bad for you." Junhong teased.

"Yeah. I've been told it can stunt your growth." Taeil smiled ironically. "Luckily, that isn't a problem for me. I'm a doll living in a human world. But, you should eat something. Tell me you have food in your kitchen right now."

"I have food." Junhong kissed him, barely closing his lips over Taeil's. "Stay and eat?"

"I can't." Taeil ducked in to kiss Junhong's neck again. "If I stay, we might have sex, and that's really not a good idea just yet."

"...okay." Junhong yielded. He watched as Taeil crawled off the couch and bent over to retrieve his mobile from his coat. The view from behind was very good in Taeil's worn-out skinny jeans.

Once the cab was on its way, he returned to the couch and knelt on the floor in front of where Junhong had sat back up, leaning into his lap. He held up his mobile, setting the timer for the cab. "You choose the pace, but this is my time limit."

He pushed up Junhong's shirt and kissed his stomach, licking and sucking at his abdominal muscles, nipping the skin over his lowest ribs and biting the waistband of his jeans. Meanwhile, Junhong extended every ounce of his willpower toward keeping his jeans closed and not pushing Taeil's head down, into his lap.

It seemed far too soon that the alarm went off, and Taeil went to meet his cab...


	19. Something New

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junhong and Taeil begin to define their new relationship while trying not to drop any of the rest of their lives...

Himchan called on Sunday morning, launching into a tirade the moment Junhong picked up. "I teach music history at a very advanced highschool, don't I? Because I feel like I've been nursing eighteen toddlers through this musical, and you can guess how I feel about that."

Himchan always started off calls like this but it never ceased to be amusing. Junhong chuckled as he put together a quick snack. "Ooh, sounds fun. How was your week other than that?"

"There is no 'other than that'. I live in the West Side Story, and I'll die in misdirected gang violence, swimming in the weak delivery of bored sixteen year olds." Himchan sighed, or maybe he was exhaling smoke. It was hard to tell sometimes when he smoked while talking on the telephone. "You kept texting at the beginning of the week. Are you okay?"

Junhong laughed. "Yeah, I'm fine. Great actually. I'm in a relationship now..."

Himchan choked. "What?!"

That wasn't what Junhong was expecting, but when he thought about, it probably should have been. "Yeah, I'm dating someone."

"Suddenly." Himchan enunciated sharply. "Were you planning to elaborate, or do I need to drag it out of you like my students' performances?"

"No, I'll continue. Uh..." Junhong felt somewhere between amused and worried even though he knew Himchan would still love him no matter what he said. He settled down on the couch while he fished for words. "So, yesterday, actually, Taeil and I kinda became an official couple. That's why it's sudden. Now that I think about it, you're probably the first person I've told..."

The silence from the other end of the line was an audible thing. It felt oppressive in his ear. Then, another sigh/exhale. No, it was a sigh. The sound of Himchan tapping the pack followed it, then the flick of the lighter. "You're seeing.... Your mentor?"

It sounded weirder than it really was, when said like that. "Uh... Yeah... He's really wonderful once you get to know him." Junhong thought about how Taeil looked when Junhong asked to call him his boyfriend and smiled. "Really."

This time, it was obvious when Himchan took a drag off his cigarette. He held it briefly, then exhaled. "I don't share your frame of reference, unfortunately. He is very talented... But, I think he might have more emotional problems than even I do, Junie... And what's going on with him and the rude man from the opera? That seemed tense."

Junhong was amused in spite of himself because Himchan knew Jihoon as 'the rude man from the opera'. Junhong sighed, deciding to tell the abridged version of the truth. "Well, he's supposed to be Taeil's best friend, but they're in the middle of a bad disagreement right now."

"Never do that to me." Himchan warned. "I would die on the spot. Friends should never be so terrible to each other..."

"I agree. I promise I won't." Junhong thought about how Himchan had been acting recently, towards Yongguk and now, even Jongup. "Speaking of which... Has anything been settled between you and Yongguk?"

Another long silence. While waiting, he heard Himchan leave his apartment, presumably to stand on the balcony that overlooked his car park. The wind made unpleasant static noises through the telephone. "I'm sure it isn't the same, Junhong. Yongguk hasn't done anything wrong. It's all me."

Junhong thought that 'the disagreement' between Jihoon and Taeil was completely Jihoon's fault, but didn't share. Instead he focused more on Himchan's 'problem'. "So, are you going to talk to him? Maybe apologize or something?"

"I should. You're right." Himchan admitted. "It's more difficult than it ought to be. I get angry when we're together, and then I can't stop myself from saying whatever crosses my mind... Though, maybe we could get everyone together for dinner this weekend? I'll provide dinner, you and your fledgling relationship will provide the topic, maybe we can all get along at the same time as introducing everyone to Taeil."

Junhong grinned. "Sounds great! It's been a while since we've all gotten together to eat, anyway"

"I'll invite everyone." Himchan offered. Junhong could be sure that a certain measure of gossip would be included with each invitation, but that was just how Himchan showed concern. "Is Sunday evening good for you? Bbang never has Saturday nights completely free. If he does, he always books a show..." 

"True, yeah..." Junhong thought about his studio schedule, his upcoming dance performance, and his meetings with Taeil. Adding all of that to classes and work, he didn't have a lot of spare time. "Sunday sounds good."

"Be early. I'll expect you at 5:00 and tell everyone else 5:30." Himchan declared. "Bring dessert or alcohol. I've been buying a lot of both lately, so whichever you choose, I'll have the other..."

And then Himchan was on the topic of stress eating and there was no ending the call for another half hour. Even so, Junhong was cheerful all afternoon. He relocated to one of the private studios in the area that hosted dance lab time for students and used the extra energy to work on choreography.

When he was done, he had three texts waiting.

[LeeT 12:23pm: I had really crazy dreams about you last night. Probably not appropriate to say, but it's true. Random question: Do you like the sea at all?]

[KimH 12:34pm: Everyone agreed to come to dinner Sunday. I had a civil conversation with Bbang. I hope you know how difficult that was.]

[KimH 12:38pm: Don't forget to invite Taeil. He's the main course, after all.]

Junhong laughed to himself as he typed a quick response to Himchan. 

[Nice! Good job eomma. I won't forget. Haha]

Then he looked over Taeil's text again and smiled. 

[Ooh! That sounds interesting~ I do like the sea. I was wondering if you'd like to have dinner with some of my friends and me next Sunday?]

[LeeT 1:11pm: Yes to dinner. I have questions about that, but they can wait for Tuesday. Random question: Have you ever rode a motorcycle?]

[Okay. Nope! Looks fun though.]

[LeeT 1:14pm: This is a problem I can fix. Not today, since it's doing that mist thing outside, but soon. ...What are you doing?]

[Exciting! Sounds awesome! I just finished practicing choreography since I have too much energy today. You?]

[LeeT 1:19pm: I went to the gym earlier, but now I'm home again, thinking about tomorrow, more than anything else. I have a mandatory interview with the director of the Arts Center tomorrow at noon. If I could, I would lose my voice tonight. Maybe go to a bar and scream at people until I go hoarse, but it wouldn't work. I haven't lost my voice since I was a kid. It would make more sense to plan, but how can you plan for this kind of thing? I don't even know what they think I did. ...and I just texted you a sad little book. My finger is tired.]

[ Haha! I bet. Ah, I don't exactly have the best advice for this kind of thing, but I see what you're saying. That sucks. I hope they're not too rude and obnoxious.] 

Personally, Junhong thought Jihoon was both rude and obnoxious but he didn't say so. Junhong was still certain that this was Jihoon's fault. Junhong thought he was all the more immature for avoiding Taeil like this while putting him in such a problematic and stressful position.

[LeeT 1:24pm: I'm sure they'll be the souls of professionalism, while simultaneously trying to give me enough rope to hang myself. But... /boyfriend. As your mentor, I should be bullying you to work on songs. We're going to build a plan for the EP on Tuesday. Don't disappoint me.]

[Okay, I'll work on it. This is going to be fun! I love listening to your voice.] 

[LeeT 1:27pm: ...now I want to come see you. But I shouldn't. We both have things we need to do, and Tuesday is only about 48hours away.]

[Ah!! Too long! You're probably right though...] Junhong started to walk back home, still checking his phone.

[LeeT 1:33pm: If I bring food, will you still get work done for school? I remember how this kind of thing works. I went to school, too.]

[YES! Please come over!] Junhong walked faster, as if Taeil might pick up food and arrive at his apartment before him.

[LeeT 1:43pm: In my car. Be there soon.]

Junhong reached his building and practically ran up the the steps, smiling. He unlocked the door to his apartment and stepped inside. Since he didn't wear a jacket, he just discarded his shoes in the entry before walking further into the apartment.

He checked the time on his phone again, before looking in the mirror just above his bathroom sink and fixing his hair. Remembering that he was still in dance appropriate, practice clothes, he quickly scuffled into his room. He changed into a simple tee and slim jeans before going back into his small living room.

Taeil arrived soon after with Boba Tea and noodles, carrying a folder under one arm. He laid everything out on Junhong's fold-away table and stole a quick kiss before washing his hands.

"I thought we could talk EP now, since we always have a few hours worth of exercises to do on our usual meeting days...?" He dried his hands and turned back toward Junhong, slipping his arms around him when he realized how close he was. "Oh, hi. I missed you."

"Hey. I missed you too." Junhong leaned down and kissed the top of Taeil's head. "Sounds good."

"I brought info on a few good troupes of stage actors, too... In case you had things you needed to do. Obviously." He gestured; retrieved a notebook from the folder, an inkpen strung through its wire binding. "We can plan and eat at the same time, okay?" 

Junhong smiled. "Okay."

"So, the whole point is to showcase your skills and growth." Taeil pulled Junhong's two mismatched plastic dining chairs together and moved the larger container of noodles toward Junhong. "We need at least one song that shows you have a good vocal range, one where you provide all the percussion through beatbox in a challenging and complex rhythm, maybe something soul with strong note transitions, and we can fill in the rest of the tracks with you doing the rap lines."

Junhong nodded as he ate some noodles from the container. "Right. I have a few songs that have complete lyrics and a basic rhythm. I can give those to you to look over, if you'd like. I might need a little help coming up with note schemes, though."

"Sure. That's great. And..." Taeil trailed off. He seemed preoccupied with watching Junhong's mouth for a moment, then smiled anxiously and looked back at his notes. "...each song should have a definite mood, since we identified that from the start. Thankfully, this is an adult education project, so we don't need to make it innocent. You sound like pure sex when you beatbox...."

Junhong was glad he wasn't the only one who got distracted staring at his boyfriend's mouth. He smirked at Taeil's last comment. "Really?"

"No. Not really, I just wanted to embarrass myself." Taeil poked his fingers into the region of Junhong's ribs, but dragged them down to his hip rather than really tickling. "Think about it. If I managed to produce a rhythm by panting and making noises, and somehow I didn't sound like an idiot doing that, wouldn't you think of other ways to make me sound like that?" 

"That's not fair... Now I'm imagining it..." Junhong sighed.

Taeil stared at him, his pupils a bit too dilated to be a reaction to the lighting. He sucked his bottom lip, and Junhong's mind went back to the previous evening, Taeil's mouth on his skin..

Turning his attention back on the food, Taeil carefully adjusted the wide straw in his cup and sipped his Boba, and that didn't really help. He set the cup back on the table and turned toward Junhong. "Do you think we could get away with just kissing? Because I want to kiss you, but I don't want to end up underneath you again. Not yet."

Junhong considered this for a moment before nodding. "Yeah, makes sense." He brushed his fingers across Taeil's cheek.


	20. "Oppa~"

The week had not gone according to plan. All of Junhong's classes had entered the inevitable slide toward end of semester, complete with increased workloads and frantic faculty, and at the same time, Taeil's mandatory interview had been postponed again and again.

They spent their weekday meetings in or around Junhong's apartment, within the length of Taeil's arm. He would hold on to the hem of Junhong's shirt, sometimes walking at his side and sometimes sitting in front of him, steeling kisses between focuses.

On Saturday, they went to the western cafe Taeil frequented and put on an impromptu performance on the patio, and Junhong walked away with almost 200,000 won in tips from patrons. He'd never made that much money at a nightclub show.

Afterward, Taeil curled up on Junhong's couch and talked about what finally happened when he was questioned about Jihoon. He held on to Junhong's thigh and spoke in a quiet monotone, so every passing car outside the apartment made him nearly unintelligible. Junhong leaned over slightly in hopes to hear him better.

"There was a...panel of directors. Five of them. That can't be a good sign. So, they did the school principle thing... You know, where they ask you to explain the situation but don't give you a frame of reference, so you can confess to things they didn't originally know you'd done?"

"Yeah. That sucks. I'd ask why they did that, but I think I can guess why." Junhong continued in his mind because he knew it wouldn't help anything. Why five? That's overdoing it, isn't it? How is anyone supposed to explain anything valid under those circumstances? "So, what did you say?"

"I kept asking what situation they were referring to." Taeil rolled over, wrapping his arms around Junhong's waist and tucking his face against his stomach. "Then they said I was being uncooperative, and it all started over. This great big circle of bullshit and little innuendos about me having a lot of secrets and I finally just started telling them that I wanted my private life to stay private and I still didn't know what situation they wanted me to explain. ....and then they thanked me for my time and Jongmin, who was seriously my favorite security guard at that place before this week, walked me out like I was a vandal. I mean, he was always friendly before and now..."

Junhong's eyes widened in shock and he rubbed Taeil's back. "What the hell...? I hear about it all the time but it still surprises me to hear about how people treat others... Especially in situations like this."

Taeil didn't look at him. He mumbled against his stomach. "Get used to it."

"I will." Junhong really knew he would, but he, like a percentage of the younger generation of Korea, wanted to see it change. "It'll still be wrong, but I'll get used to it."

Taeil hadn't stayed late that evening, but he was early the next day, and more energetic. He picked through Junhong's cupboards, checking the ages of all of his boxed and canned goods and throwing away anything suspect. "Oh my god, Junhong. Don't kill my boyfriend through neglect..."

Junhong stood in the doorway of the kitchenette, resting his forearms above his head on the top of the archway. He laughed. "Sorry, it's definitely not a goal."

"I bet your sweet nature gets you fed all the time. If you had my personality you would've starved to death your first year in Seoul." Taeil looked up; frowned. "You know, I can barely reach that thing you're leaning on... Advertisers should pay you to wear their messages on your back."

Junhong looked from the archway to Taeil, then laughed again. "I don't know about that... I don't think my back is that big." He lowered his arms and stood up straight for a moment, leveling his shoulders. Despite his words, between his broad shoulders and height, he was more noticeable than most shop signs.

"Sure." Taeil straightened up, holding his head as high as he could, and marched the two steps to Junhong like a toy soldier. He measured his height against Junhong, then stepped back, his hand still leveled below Junhong's collarbone. "Oppa, you're tall."

Junhong wrapped his arms around Taeil and leaned down, burying his face slightly awkwardly in the crook of Taeil's neck. "Stop cleaning my kitchen. We're supposed to head to Himchan's soon... Wouldn't you rather we spend a little time together?"

Taeil's breath was ticklish against his ear. "Yes... I'm just..." He looped his arms around Junhong's neck, holding on as he kissed below his ear. "...yes."

The way Taeil held on made Junhong want to pick him up, but that hadn't worked out well in the past. He tried walking them back to the couch instead, though it was difficult hunched over. Taeil started giggling halfway there, not helping at all. Junhong continued his blind, backward shuffle.

"Tall people problems...." Taeil held on tighter, taking Junhong's head hostage.

"Ah!" Junhong grinned, locating the couch with his foot. He scooted back, taking Taeil with him as he flopped onto the couch.

Taeil broke into a helpless stream of laughter, rolling with it, holding on with both his arms and legs. "Not good enough! I still have you!"

Junhong laughed and rolled them over, pinning Taeil beneath him in an attempt to get free. He tucked his shin onto the couch on one side of Taeil and braced one arm above his head, the other holding onto Taeil's back. "I will win!"

Stubbornness had to count for something. Taeil was wrapped around Junhong like a koala, refusing to let go. He wormed a hand into the opening of Junhong's shirt sleeve and started tickling.

One down side to being tall: there is a lot of surface space that comes with the possibility of being ticklish. Junhong was very ticklish. He laughed and tried not to flail, for the well being of both him and Taeil. "I surrender! I surrender!"

"What will you give me?" Taeil wiggled his fingers gently, not really tickling, but not backing down.

Junhong grinned, still laughing.  
"Anything and everything, oppa!" 

"Oh, wow." Taeil relaxed his hold, settling into the couch under Junhong. "So if I wanted to be carried on your back all day, you'd introduce me to your friends like that?"

Junhong calmed down a bit, smiling but no longer laughing. "Yeah, sure."

"And you can call me baby oppa all day?" Taeil smirked.

Junhong died laughing again. "Okay!~"

"And-" Taeil spoke loudly, over Junhong's laughter. "And I can pet your head and shoulders all day and make weird old man comments about strapping boys?"

Junhong almost collapsed on Taeil from laughing so hard. "Ah! What else?!"

"You need more?" Taeil messed up Junhong's hair. "So demanding!"

The alarm on Junhong's mobile buzzed from where it lay on the table, rattling loudly. They both startled, and Taeil started laughing again while Junhong went to silence it. "Time to go."

Taeil hugged his stomach, still giggling. "Okay.... Yes.... Are we bringing alcohol or dessert?"

Which Junhong had already taken care of. He was starting to feel like everyone else paid his way. He fetched a chocolate cheesecake from his refrigerator and a bottle of soju from his lower cabinets. "Both!"

"Good call." Taeil rolled off the couch and stopped just short of the door. "Um... You can't see anything you shouldn't, right?"

His hair was a bit messy, but that was cute. Junhong assumed he meant the nipple ring, which would be invisible to anyone not looking for it. "I can, but they won't."

Taeil awkwardly smoothed his shirt. "I could wear a hoodie."

"Do you need to?" Junhong herded him toward the door.

"I guess not." Taeil shrugged, taking the cake, so Junhong could lock up. It was back on Junhong's lap once they reached the car, but he carried it upstairs when they arrived.

Himchan opened the door before they reached it. He was already playing one of his amazing music compilations and had chores that needed done. Taeil tidied up the dinette while Junhong helped in the kitchen.

And then Youngjae was there, confused over Taeil for only a moment before launching into a story about his client. He was bemoaning platform inconsistencies and user stupidity when Yongguk and Jongup arrived and Himchan turned into a feral cat.

Daehyun walked into a tirade about insensitivity that barely raised his eyebrows. He grinned and sidled over to Youngjae, with whom he began making bets.

Poor Jongup looked caught in the headlights as Yongguk feebly argued with Himchan's endless stream of complaints.

So, having a crowd of witnesses didn't stop him. Only Junhong's very obvious, very meaningful look placed directly in his face was enough to shut him up.

And dinner was served. Daehyun and Youngjae kept snickering, occasionally trying to get Jongup to join them, though he was more oblivious than usual and just watched Himchan, as if sensing for the beginnings of another fit. Junhong wondered how he was doing with his efforts to develop emotional ESP.

Not great, it turned out. Himchan was mumbling under his breath before they were done with their first course. Yongguk cleared his throat, commanding attention. "Junhong... Did you want to introduce us to your friend?"

"Uh, yeah..." Junhong smiled at Yongguk, then Taeil, before turning to the rest of his friends. "This is my boyfriend, Taeil. I've talked about him a few times, if you remember." 

"Boyfriend?" Daehyun's eyebrows raised as he continued. "When did 'boyfriend' happen? Where was I?" He paused for a moment, staring at the table, then he smiled. "Oh yeah, Fiji. It was niiiice! Super relaxation, man!" 

Youngjae rolled his eyes. "I don't want to hear about it. My whole week was: 'I need this apple app, but I bought android tablets...' People are so dumb!" He looked Taeil over. "But, 'boyfriend' is unexpected. Though, Junhong's told us good things..."

Junhong suspected Youngjae was thinking about money and connections. He didn't bother correcting that assumption just yet. Taeil looked awkward, like he had at the opera after-party, but he was obviously trying to be pleasant. 

He wasn't in the spotlight long. Yongguk rubbed Jongup's shoulder and Himchan was off again, slamming cabinet doors in the kitchen. Youngjae bugged his eyes at Daehyun. "He's lost it."

Daehyun also widened his eyes, resulting in an almost anime-like appearance. "We knew it was coming, we just didn't expect it to happen so soon."

"Yongguk." Youngjae reached across the table, prodding at Yongguk's arm. "Fix Himchan. He's driving me crazy."

Daehyun nodded his agreement, but it was Jongup who went to the kitchen. Yongguk looked after him, expression wary and protective, though just who he wanted to protect was uncertain.

"That's my cue to leave, by the way." Youngjae declared. "No dinner is worth this. Call me back when the dust clears."

"Agreed. I swear, we need to lock you three in a room until you cope or kill each other." Daehyun added. "Have fun. Bro, let's head to a bar or something, I'll tell you about Fiji."

Yongguk tore his attention away from the less-noisy kitchen to look at Junhong and Taeil. "Can we talk later? He might be right... Jonguppie and I are going to stay and talk to Himchan..." 

Junhong nodded, looking out into the kitchen again. "Yeah, that would probably be best." He stood, holding out his arms to hug Youngguk.

Yongguk gave him a quick hug and saw him and Taeil out. It sounded like he actually locked the door. Taeil raised his eyebrows, walking to his car in what looked like mute shock. Junhong was just beginning to apologize when Taeil started laughing.

"It's okay. ...No..." He giggled helplessly as he settled into the driver's seat. "No, it was great. Thank God I'm not the only person in the world with problems." He breathed deeply, waited out the last of his giggling, and started the car. "So, where to, sir?"

If Taeil was serious about going slow, a long evening at home was the wrong choice. Junhong considered his options. "I could show you the choreography I've been working on for dance class."

He didn't expect Taeil to be interested, but half an hour later, they were in the studio. He queued up his accompaniment as Taeil found a comfortable place to watch. The songs he'd chosen were American, fairly simple, with strong beats that complimented one another.

He'd been dancing long enough to challenge himself with some advanced moves. Several required a lot of strength, while others would be painful if not executed perfectly. Junhong focused on what he was doing, letting Taeil fall into the background until he was done.

He was always overheated after complicated routines. He peeled off his overshirt and pushed his damp hair off his forehead, looking toward Taeil.

And there was that look again, eyes wide and mouth slightly open. He offered a water bottle; glanced around the room. There were no other dancers working, the last having gone soon after they arrived.

"You're amazing..." Taeil hooked his fingers in Junhong's pockets, watching him drink. "Is it okay to kiss you here?"

"I'm sweaty." Junhong warned.

"Not a problem." Taeil stood up, stretching for a kiss. Junhong met him halfway, still a bit breathless.

It was a good thing they hadn't gone home. Taeil didn't even bother with sweet kisses, it was dirty from the start, and Junhong backed him up against the wall, pushing back. Only the lack of furniture and the public access kept them decent.


	21. 'My Taeil'

Kyung's studio was still one of Junhong's favorite places, even after seeing Taeil's friends' bizarre behavior, and he was thrilled to be back in the recording booth with Taeil. The main focus of their visit was laying down the foundations for the six songs making up their EP.

Taeil was listening through a percussion line, his hands on the sides of his headphones and his eyes closed. His cologne, always a pleasantly vague scent in comparison to the way some people wore theirs, was more noticeable in such a small space.

He'd been wearing a sweatshirt that morning, but the booth had grown warm after a few hours and it had been discarded in the lounge, leaving him in a sleeveless black top and close fitting dark red pants.

His body was harder to ignore like that, and Junhong kept fitting his hand into the curve of Taeil's lower back, brushing his fingers down over his bottom. The first time, Taeil gave him a sideways look, but it was softened by a smile, so Junhong didn't stop.

When they finally exited the booth, Jiho was in the lounge. He sat in the corner, a large sketchbook on his lap and a variety of media to his side, so intently drawing that he didn't even look up when they joined him.

Kyung began playing through the tracks, one by one, showing Junhong how they were layered together and what edits he'd made. Taeil kept adding comments or questions whenever Kyung paused, and after a while, Jiho started making little irritating noises every time Taeil spoke.

Finally, Taeil rounded on him. "Either say what's bothering you or shut up, Jiho, but don't sit there being an asshole."

Jiho lifted his head, his expression needlessly intense. "Were you going to keep ignoring all your friends for the rest of the season, or did you plan to pick fights with everyone?"

Taeil snorted, turning back to Kyung. "I'm not doing either."

"Bullshit." Jiho put his sketchbook down. "You haven't hung with any of us in ages, Taeil, unless you count that time we surprised you and you hit Jihoon. Was that your weird way of getting out of the group? Ignore us until we forget you and hit the ones who won't? Who were you going to hit next?"

Taeil clenched his fists, snarling over his shoulder at Jiho. "I don't know, Jiho. Probably either you or Jaehyo, because I'm fucking sick of you, but we all know how much I like getting my ass kicked."

Kyung got up so quickly his chair fell over. He smacked the back of Taeil's head and leaned over Jiho, bracing his hands on his wrists, effectively pinning him in the chair. "I personally thought Jihoon got better than he deserved. How would you feel if all our friends were here and I just stuck my hand inside your clothes and-?"

Jiho groaned. "We've had this talk - like, 200 times in the last month!"

"Then learn!" Kyung slid his hands up to Jiho's face. "You're smart. Use that to develop some understanding for other human beings... Like maybe your friends."

Jiho sulked, but didn't argue. Kyung went back to his control board and continued sharing tracks, but Jiho was still mumbling, and Taeil looked seriously annoyed. Junhong heard something about leeches and money and gifts, and Taeil stood up and walked out of the lounge, leaving his hoodie. 

Kyung sighed, giving Jiho a disappointed look. Jiho raised his eyebrows, 200% defensive. "What?!"

They were still staring at each other when Taeil returned and dropped something into Jiho's lap. He went back to the couch without waiting for Jiho's reaction and sat down, close to Junhong. Jiho lifted the Bulgari bracelet off his leg and looked it over.

"Hold on." Kyung gestured. "You still had that in your car?"

Taeil looked painfully awkward. He glanced at Junhong first, then Kyung. "...I was never allowed to give it back."

Kyung nodded, though he looked uncomfortable as he went back to their discussion of improving the tracks. Taeil was equally uneasy, but he grew steadily more calm and professional as the conversation continued. In the corner, Jiho was visibly stewing.

When they decided to stop for the day, Jiho walked over to Taeil and held out the bracelet, inverted so the inscription inside the band could be easily read: 'My Taeil'.

"You know, some people would see this as a proposal..." Jiho layered disapproval and disappointment into his words. "...you just left it in your car like it was garbage."

Taeil looked startled by that, then shook his head, frowning. "It isn't, though. It's a fucking cattle brand."

And Jiho was angry and protective again. Junhong wondered what hidden gift Jihoon had that made people care so deeply. "He loves you, Taeil! He couldn't stand to be away from you! He constantly gave you gifts and you-"

"Never. Ever. Kept them." Taeil enunciated carefully. His facial features were held tight, covering his feelings, and Junhong recognized it as the same kind of look he'd been given the day he fell asleep at the opera house. Taeil went on, still speaking softly but distinctly. "I'm not doing this, Jiho. Talk to him about it, not me. While you're at it, feel free to give the fucking bracelet back to him. He can't be bothered to respond to me at all, anymore."

He took his hoodie from the back of the couch and thanked Kyung quietly, grabbed Junhong's wrist and walked out. In the car, he pulled the hoodie back on and mumbled an apology before driving away. All the way back through Seoul, he seemed to be working on automatic, and they ended up at the gate to the car park below his flat rather than Junhong's apartment building.

The tension finally broke, leaving Taeil awkward and nervous as he parked, possibly just realizing what he'd done. "Um... Do you want to come up for dinner?"

Junhong nodded, not only was he hungry, but it had been weeks since Junhong had last been in Taeil's flat and he really enjoyed being there. Taeil turned sideways in the driver's seat, looking at Junhong searchingly. Then he just nodded back and got out of the car, but he reached for Junhong's hand when they entered the foyer and didn't let go until they were inside his flat.

His refrigerator was far better stocked than Junhong's, and they worked together to make a quick variation on Bibimguksu. Taeil had to step up on the footrest of his tall pub chairs to reach the seat. He noticed Junhong (whose feet could still rest comfortably enough on the ground while seated) watching him.

"Shut up." He smiled self consciously. "Yeah, the view's pretty good from up here."

Junhong smiled back, a bit ornery. "So I've noticed."

There was no touching that. Taeil pushed his food around a bit, thinking. They ate quietly for a while, and at one point he stretched a leg under the table, propping his foot on Junhong's unused footrest. When he was almost done eating, he paused and toyed with his bowl, not looking at Junhong. "I want to make excuses for today, but you've known me long enough to see what a drama I live in."

"Eh, it wasn't that bad. After all, you endured psycho dinner with my friends last week." Junhong reached across the table to lift Taeil's head with a hand under his jaw. "I get the feeling that both of us have friends who get weirder whenever someone new is around."

"Maybe." Taeil ate a little more. "Except, in my case, I'm starring in the drama. You kinda come in from the side, like a sane person."

"Most of the time." Junhong laughed. "...Sometimes I feel like the instigator that starts some drama."

"I'll have to watch for that." Taeil hopped down from his chair and started cleaning up after dinner. Junhong joined him in the kitchen again and they made quick work of the dishes. Taeil hung up the towel and turned, smiling when Junhong was right there. He slid a hand up Junhong's chest and gripped the front of his tee, pulling him down for a kiss.

It started out sweet, but Junhong slid his hands around to Taeil's ass and Taeil moaned, licked along the edge of Junhong's upper lip and sucked his tongue. He held on to Junhong's hip and arched into the movement when Junhong pulled their bodies together. 

"Do you want to stay?" He blurted before he could give it too much thought. As usual, his mind started turning over immediately afterward. "I mean, just to stay over. I don't expect anything from you..."

Junhong kissed him again. "Yes."


	22. ""Do you even know how this is done?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .......sex.
> 
> Yep.

"You know that staying makes you subject to my special variety of insanity..." Taeil admitted, smiling awkwardly. "...which means closing up shop so I feel safe in my bedroom. Which means making sure everything is put away, because I turned neurotic in the military..."

Junhong nodded agreeably. He walked along with Taeil, watching as he put away their shoes and hung his hat. He checked the lock on the door and his keys in their bin, pushed in the dining chairs, and wiped down the table and counters.

"You're being very patient." Taeil observed, smiling over his shoulder at Junhong.

Junhong shrugged, smiling back. "It's a great opportunity to watch your ass..."

"And not touch?" Taeil pulled his hoodie over his head and turned around to hang it over the back of a chair.

With that invitation, Junhong stepped closer. He leaned over Taeil, sliding both hands up the sides of his bare arms and down his back. "I wasn't sure I could."

He pressed a kiss to the back of Taeil's neck and Taeil shivered, automatically reaching back for Junhong's hips. "That... ...oh, that's a..." He ducked away, switching off the lights and returning. "Come here."

He took Junhong's hand and led him to the space between the fish tanks, where the soft light washed across them in rippling waves. Standing in front of the jellyfish tank, he pulled Junhong close behind him and laced their fingers together; dragged his hands up his own sides.

Junhong kissed behind his ear, bending down to try the back of his neck again. Taeil shivered more violently than before, turning within the circle of his arms and mouthing along his jaw. His skin felt hot, his breathing quick. He wrapped his arms around Junhong's neck, kissing hungrily.

The flat felt surreal, lit as it was. Junhong slid his hands down to Taeil's ass, pulling him flush against himself, licking deeper into the kiss. Taeil sucked his tongue; got a leg around him like he might climb up his body.

He didn't seem to mind being lifted up, Junhong's hands wrapped around his hips and bottom, though he rocked into Junhong's hold a bit too hard and they folded together into the oversized chair behind Junhong.

Taeil landed on Junhong's lap, still kissing as he ground down against him, and neither of them were wearing roomy enough pants for that. Junhong fumbled with Taeil's belt, confounded by its unusual buckle.

Taeil wriggled back, slipping down to the floor between Junhong's feet. He dragged his hands over Junhong's hips, down and back up between his thighs, pushing up his shirt to kiss his stomach. Junhong barely dared to move. He combed his fingers through Taeil's hair, holding his breath as Taeil opened his jeans.

"Oh..." Taeil rubbed his fingers over Junhong's erection through his underwear. He glanced up through his eyelashes, tugged Junhong's hips just far enough off the chair to pull his jeans and underwear a bit lower.

His mouth couldn't possibly be big enough. He curled his fingers around Junhong's dick and leaned closer, cautiously closing his mouth around the head and sucking gently.

The surge that rushed through Junhong was like nothing he'd ever felt before. He held on to the arms of the chair and struggled to breathe as Taeil bobbed his head and pressed his tongue against the underside of Junhong's dick, easing it further into his mouth.

Whatever made him hesitate at the start, it didn't take Taeil long to figure out what he was doing. He shifted further over Junhong's lap, massaging his thighs and sucking deeper, relaxing his throat.

The chair creaked in protest under Junhong's grip. His hands and legs were trembling, all his energy pooling in his lower abdomen as Taeil dragged his fingers along the indents between his muscles, pulling back to lick the sensitive spot under the head of his dick then sucking it deep again. Junhong didn't have enough experience to last. He tried to say Taeil's name and made an incoherent noise, groaning helplessly as his body let go.

Taeil swallowed and sat back, smiling smugly. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and stood up, brushing his fingers along the side of Junhong's face before disappearing into the darkness of the kitchen. He was back before Junhong could even pull his thoughts back together, drinking melon milk from the carton.

"You okay?" He teased, leaning in for a kiss.

Junhong said something vaguely like, "nyyess?" and Taeil laughed softly.

He finished his drink, setting the empty carton on the top of a fish tank and brushing his fingers along the side of Junhong's jaw. "I'm gonna shower, okay? I won't be long."

"Mmmwait." Junhong reached for him.

Taeil caught his hand and kissed it, let go and stepped back, flicking the light switches on his fish tanks. "Showering. Really, I desperately need to, but I'll be right back." He tugged his shirt up and over his head, unbuckled his impossible belt, and walked into the bathroom.

There was a lag in time as Junhong recovered, then he dragged himself out of the chair and followed. The bathroom door wasn't completely closed, so he assumed that was an invitation and undressed.

The shower was running hot, steam escaping around the curtain. Junhong found his voice. "Do you mind if I shower with you?"

Even so, Taeil looked startled when he opened the curtain. He pushed his wet hair out of his eyes. "No... It's okay."

It was a bit awkward trying to clamber into the tub, and there was almost no flat space to stand once inside, but Junhong didn't care. He ducked under the wide shower head long enough to soak his hair, smiling down at Taeil.

"This is nice." He looked Taeil over. "But, what was the emergency?"

Taeil pushed to get back under the shower head. "I said I needed a shower..."

And Junhong wondered if Taeil had masturbated in the shower, because if he had, that was a bit unfair. He closed the space between them, kissing Taeil as the water pounded down on them.

Every part of Taeil that he could reach was hot and slick, and when Taeil didn't protest, he tried to touch everything. He massaged Taeil's shoulders, working down his spine as they kissed, then extending his fingers lower, over Taeil's bottom.

Taeil hummed against his mouth; broke the kiss. "Like that, huh?"

"Yes." Junhong admitted, gripping a bit firmly, then letting go, sliding his hands back up so one remained against Taeil's lower back while the other slid around and down his lean, flat stomach. His dick was half hard.

Taeil moaned against Junhong's collar, rocking his hips slightly into his grip. Having only ever touched himself before, Junhong tried a variety of different ways to touch and stroke Taeil, listening to his ragged breathing and letting it encourage him.

Only, he couldn't seem to take him over the edge. Taeil exhaled soft, needy sounds and shook his head against Junhong's shoulder. "Wait..."

He stilled Junhong's hand, turned off the shower and pushed back the curtain; grabbed an oversized towel from the top of the radiator and wrapped it around them both.

Even climbing out of the tub, he kept kissing Junhong, and he pressed their bodies back together once they were on level ground, his dick against Junhong's thigh and his hand rubbing up the length of Junhong's dick, which had taken an interest again.

"Come to bed with me..." He murmured against Junhong's neck...

They fell onto the mattress still damp, still wrapped up in the towel, Junhong lying on top of Taeil and rolling his hips down steadily. Taeil pulled his head down to kiss more, the height difference more than enough to let Junhong reach everything at once. He thumbed the nipple ring; felt the jolt rock Taeil's entire body, and slid his hand down when Taeil inevitably pulled one leg up.

Taeil shuddered, gasping as Junhong experimentally pushed a fingertip just slightly into him. "Oh... Hold on..." He held Junhong's shoulders tightly, breathing deeply. "Wait... Do you even know how this is done?"

Junhong knew he probably seemed more confident than he felt. He'd looked things up - weeks ago - after the first time Taeil reacted so strongly to him touching the nipple ring. Still, he knew that research wasn't as good as experience. "Uh....kinda."

Taeil stared at him, breathing ragged. He reached to the side and fetched a bottle and a condom from the nightstand. "Let me."

Junhong wasn't even sure what Taeil meant by that, but he nodded. Taeil squeezed lube into his own hand, watching Junhong heatedly as he warmed the gel in his palm. He didn't try to make a show of himself, but he also didn't hide what he was doing as he pulled his leg closer to his chest, pushing his fingers into himself and moving them, panting softly, closing his eyes.

"...put on the condom."

Which was another thing Junhong had never done before. He clumsily opened the packet, still watching Taeil, who reached out with his unoccupied hand to ensure the condom went on correctly. Then he was adding more lube to his surprisingly clean hand and spreading it over the condom, dragging Junhong closer.

"Slow, okay?" Taeil urged. "You're really big..."

And he was lining them up, encouraging Junhong to push a little, inhaling deeply. Not for the first time in his life, Junhong wished he was a bit smaller. He pressed forward slowly, rolling his hips in and out. Taeil moaned, each push wringing obscene little sounds from him. He clung to Junhong's biceps, lifting his hips a little as Junhong rocked into him.

His body felt amazing. Junhong kept moving his hips, kept pushing himself deeper inside Taeil, bracing one arm above Taeil's head and working the other under his lower back.

Taeil kept gasping, kept arching his back and straining for some different angle, and Junhong tried to help him find it. It was like dancing, something his body knew even when his head didn't. He lifted Taeil's hips completely off the mattress and kept rolling his body down against him.

Getting his own thighs partially under Taeil helped, and freed his hands. He slid them along Taeil's legs, then up his sides and back down his stomach, feeling the flex and bunch of usually-hidden muscles there. 

One definite benefit of their height difference was that Junhong could duck in for a kiss without losing his rhythm. Taeil held on to him, his legs pulling at Junhong's hips, his one hand behind Junhong's neck as the other dragged up his side. Junhong had already learned enough to realize that he was getting close again.

He curled in on himself enough to kiss down Taeil's throat and across his collarbone, down to his nipple ring. The jolt felt entirely different when he was inside Taeil. He sucked the ring into his mouth and Taeil cried out, his legs and hands and body all tightening their hold as tremors wracked through him.

And Junhong couldn't hold out any longer. He let himself go, holding on to Taeil's hips and moving, driven by the helpless sounds he made, until the entire world felt pulled down to where his and Taeil's bodies were joined.

Taeil was still shaking when Junhong came back to his senses, kissing his shoulder, patient in spite of Junhong's full weight on him. He murmured something too soft to understand and helped him dispose of the condom, clean off with the towel, and settle into bed.

Junhong stretched an arm out along the bottom of the pillows and Taeil laid his head on it, tracing his fingertips over Junhong's face, following his features. He looked completely exposed and a bit raw, but Junhong thought he'd never seen anyone or anything more gorgeous...


	23. "I'd like to spend the day with you."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .....and more sex.....

Taeil's bedroom was peaceful in the morning. Junhong lay still, pleasantly aware of the faint light filtering through the curtains. He didn't hear any cars, any people, or much of anything else aside from Taeil breathing.

At some point, he'd turned away in his sleep. He rolled over and found that Taeil had done the same thing. The room was comfortably warm, the blankets down around the foot of the bed and only a sheet covering Taeil's lower body.

Junhong thought of the night before, of the way Taeil looked and felt beneath him. He hadn't expected things to go as far as they had, but having experienced so much, it was difficult to be so close, naked, without wanting to try again.

He wrapped himself around Taeil, kissing his shoulder just above his highest tattoo, and watched Taeil's expression shift from placid to confused and slowly dawn into wakefulness.

"Mmm... Hey." He murmured. Somehow his morning voice was still soft and sweet, though slightly rough.

"Hi." Junhong spoke against the back of Taeil's neck, enjoying the way Taeil inhaled through his teeth and pushed himself backward, pressing his bottom against Junhong's already-hard dick.

And that seemed like a very good sign. Junhong rocked against him, kissing along his neck and shoulders. Taeil hummed softly, slipping a hand between them and stroking him as well as the angle allowed.

Junhong pushed against Taeil's hand, propping himself up slightly so he could also kiss and mouth along the back Taeil's neck and down his spine. Every kiss or lick was immediately rewarded with a shiver or a soft sound, encouraging Junhong to focus where the reactions were strongest...

Close as they were to Taeil's side of the bed, and focused as Junhong was, he didn't notice Taeil doing anything beyond responding until a condom was offered. He took it; rolled it into place quickly.

"Is this okay?" He spoke against the base of Taeil's neck, rubbing one hand over his hip and lower back.

Taeil moaned softly. He rolled the opposite direction from what Junhong anticipated, settling on his stomach and offering his entire back. "This is good." He looked over his shoulder, totally unguarded. "...if you want."

The tattoos on Taeil's arms were still visible, but his back, unlike his chest, was unmarked. Junhong pressed his thumbs into the muscle around Taeil's spine, massaging downward from his shoulders to the curve above his bottom.

He remembered how careful Taeil had needed him to be at the start and reached for the bottle of lube, still rubbing Taeil's lower back with one hand.

"Just on you." Taeil advised quietly. He arched his back, lifting his hips a little as Junhong warmed the lube a moment and covered himself.

"Can I just...?" He lined up and pushed very slightly and Taeil shifted back with the push, hissing softly through his teeth.

Junhong moved as slowly and carefully as he could, but it was easier than before. Taeil moved with him, getting his knees under him and pushing up and back, taking Junhong deep.

"Touch me..." He murmured.

He was sleep-warm and his skin felt softer than Junhong expected from a man, especially along his hips and sides and across his stomach. Junhong took his time, his hips moving slow and steady, his hands exploring Taeil's body, finding scars and freckles, building a map of every place that brought a strong reaction.

He inevitably reached the nipple ring again; followed its edge with his finger and rubbed the skin it was threaded through. Taeil shuddered, his entire body tightening down, his breathing reduced to a stuttering moan. Every impulse told Junhong to speed up, to let go, but he didn't.

He kept rolling his hips forward, kept tugging gently at the nipple ring, and leaned down to suck the skin at the back of Taeil's neck. And Taeil fell apart. He shuddered, clinging to the pillow tightly and sobbing, and the grip of his body was too much. Junhong rocked harder, deeper, and followed him down.

He lay against Taeil, mouthing sloppy kisses against his shoulder, listening to the hitch in his breathing. Taeil was still shivering, still breathing like he'd been crying. He held on to Junhong's hands for a long time, as the streams of light from the curtains' edges crept slowly further across the bed.

Junhong took care of cleanup as soon as he could, as soon as Taeil let go of his hands. He brushed Taeil's hair out of his face and kissed him, searched his expression for anything negative, and kissed him again when he found nothing.

Taeil stretched. He crawled over Junhong, rubbed their faces together like a cat might, and climbed out of bed. "Wanna share a bath?"

His apparent comfort was encouraging. Junhong nodded, taking advantage of Taeil's huge bed to stretch out completely as he listened to the water running. When it stopped, he dragged himself to his feet and followed. Taeil looked up from where he was gathering the shower curtain back from the tub. His hair was still in total disarray.

He smiled. "You have good timing. I thought you should get in first and I'll kinda fit into whatever space is left..."

Junhong laughed. He reached across the tub to curl his fingers around Taeil's ear, cradling his face. "You don't have to-"

"Wash my back?" Taeil interrupted, looking hopeful.

"Yeah." Junhong agreed. "Okay."

The water was just hot enough, the bath barely big enough, that it was nice sharing. Junhong scrubbed Taeil's back and helped wash his hair, kissing his shoulders and his neck and behind his ears. Taeil sighed, leaned against him and relaxed.

He turned over, carefully, his side against Junhong's chest; gathered water between his palms and splashed it over Junhong's shoulders, smiling to himself as the last shampoo suds washed away. "Do you have any plans today?"

"I'd like to spend the day with you." Junhong offered. "If that's possible."

Taeil looked him in the eyes; nodded. "Yeah... That would be great."

They finished up and dressed, Taeil giggling at the terrible fit of his biggest sleep pants on Junhong, and they ate a simple breakfast of rice, eggs, and kimchi. Taeil tucked his bare foot against Junhong's thigh at the table. "When do you need to go?"

"Well..." Junhong idly tickled Taeil's foot, amused by the quick retreat. "I need to have clean clothes and supplies for classes tomorrow, but besides that, there's nothing important."

Taeil smiled brightly, gathering dishes to wash. "So I should take you home tonight?"

"Probably." Junhong agreed, though sleeping alone in his twin-sized bed would be unsatisfying after sharing Taeil's bed.

"Okay." Taeil washed dishes, looking utterly delighted when Junhong started drying and putting them away. He drained the sink and washed his hands, ducked and kissed Junhong's side, just above the waistband of his borrowed pants. "Have you ever watched Shingeki no Kyojin?"

"Jongup talks about it, but no... I've never seen it." Junhong put away the last few dishes and hung up the towel.

"Feel like watching it?" Taeil wandered toward his livingroom, pausing to turn the lights back on for his fish and drop a few different kinds of food into the tanks. "I'll admit right now, it's really violent and sad. People get squashed and eaten by these freakish giants... But it's still one of my favorite anime."

Junhong raised his eyebrows. "That's a big deference from what anime I'm used to, but I'll watch. Sounds interesting." He smiled and sat on the couch. "I saw a bunch of stuff online about the studio taking a million years to produce another season."

"Yeah, I'll probably die before they finish it." Taeil fetched the disc. "But I have the first season, and my favorite characters survive at least that long, so..."

Junhong laughed, settling on the couch and watching as Taeil inserted the disc into his blue ray player. Once it was started, Taeil crawled onto the couch with him, snuggling against his chest. "There's a drinking game for this anime. You have to drink every time Eren rants, Mikasa acts crazy, or Jean does or says something douchey..."

Junhong chuckled, kissing Taeil's forehead and wrapping his arms around Taeil. "Are we going to play it?"

"I thought we could skip the alcohol and I'll just kiss you." Taeil lifted his head for a kiss right away, just as the narration began.

Junhong smiled before turning his attention back to the screen. "I like that better."

As if turned out, there were a lot of opportunities to kiss. Taeil was in Junhong's lap again halfway through the season, and Junhong only gave a fraction of his attention to the story. Taeil resurfaced when the disc reverted to its menu. He murmured into Junhong's mouth. "I don't know if we can watch TV together..."

He crawled off Junhong's lap and turned the television off, then wandered into the kitchen. Junhong stretched. He waited long enough to be sure that Taeil wasn't just fetching a drink, then followed.

They made a quick lunch of tofu and vegetables, then Taeil brought out the folder he'd taken to Junhong's apartment before and waved a stack of papers. "This is 'Cats', and if you laugh I'll die on the floor. I've been asked to audition."

"Don't die." Junhong tried to imagine Taeil dressed up as a cat. He knew he was biased, but it sounded very cute. "I won't laugh."

"Do you mind listening to my lines?" Taeil folded the papers and offered them to Junhong, pointing at the correct part.

Junhong took them. "Go ahead."

Taeil already had the lines memorized. He blazed through them, someone new and unfamiliar, even his mannerisms changed. He prowled the open spaces of the livingroom as he spoke, perching on the arm of a chair at one point in an adorably catlike crouch. Then he noticed what he was doing and laughed.

"Whoa!" Junhong swept him up in his arms. "You're great! You looked and sounded perfect!"

Taeil held on to him, looking calm but encouraged. "Well... Not exactly perfect. I need to lose about seven kilograms just to be considered. That would put me at about the weight I was when I was twenty, assuming I can do it."

"You're already so small..." Junhong set him down and ran his hands all over Taeil, pulling him against himself. "Where could you lose any weight?"

Taeil stared at him. "Um... Everywhere? You've seen me naked. I'm not exactly skinny."

"All I saw was muscle." Junhong insisted. He tugged at the hem of Taeil's shirt. "...unless I missed something."

"You might have." Taeil bit his bottom lip, taking Junhong's hands and sliding them under the fabric of his shirt.

"This isn't too much?" Junhong asked, but he still dragged his hands over heated skin; still lifted Taeil's shirt over his head.

"I like it." Taeil confessed. He pulled at the neckline of his own tank top, which Junhong was wearing. "I like your enthusiasm, your amazing body... Just being with you in any way. I could have sex with you eight times a day, if you wanted to..."

"But could you walk tomorrow?" Junhong teased.

"I'm suspended from work right now." Taeil took Junhong's hands and walked backward toward the bedroom. "What do I need to do that involves walking tomorrow? Just speak some lines and sing a few songs... I could do that if I was crippled..."

Junhong didn't think he could cripple Taeil. He smirked, unbuttoning the waistband of Taeil's pants. "Okay... Where do you have extra weight...?"


	24. Escape options and Time travel

Monday, Byun sun-seng nim intercepted Junhong before he could leave her classroom. She smiled reassuringly and asked him to carry her extra supplies back to her office. He wasn't surprised when she closed the door behind them and asked him to have a seat.

"I'll be direct." She settled behind her desk. "In light of the current media situation involving Lee Taeil and the Arts Center, the dean has asked me to offer you a chance to change mentors. This is that chance. However, before you say anything, I feel it important to tell you that I've been impressed with your work and growth within the present arrangement. This offer has nothing to do with your progress, and is simply an opportunity for you to separate yourself from scandal, as the faculty has been led to believe it could harm your reputation."

Junhong didn't think he had much of a reputation in Seoul yet. He was also vaguely surprised that the blogs hadn't reported about him being in Taeil's house all weekend. They eventually would, he was certain, and their romantic relationship would be connected to the mentorship arrangement whether or not it was abruptly ended. "Um, no. I don't want to switch."

"Are you certain?" She folded her arms and tried to stare him down. She was the kind of woman who had naturally large eyes, yet still outlined them in such a way that they appeared enormous. "Are you aware of the rumors involving you?"

...or maybe the blogs had already reported about the weekend. Junhong tried to look completely oblivious. He imagined Jongup as a reference. "I'm not worried about that. Taeil has already taught me a lot. I don't want a different mentor."

Byun sun-seng nim nodded, opening one of her many organizers and retrieving the two CDs he'd already submitted and the paperwork Taeil had written for each. She laid them on the desk. "I'm prohibited from telling you my opinion of your decision, though I am allowed to tell you how impressed I am with your work this semester. I'm eager to see the final project."

They briefly discussed his plans for the EP and Junhong thanked her, then hurried to his dance lab. He'd lost ten minutes of his allotted time, but made good use of what was left.

A little after three o'clock, he left the lab and began the walk toward his apartment. He was leaving the campus when he saw Taeil, perched on a bench and looking toward the music building.

He was dressed nicely, in a bright blue knit top and tight black pants, and he was wearing a little kohl around his eyes again, under wire framed glasses. Taeil noticed Junhong and immediately smiled, popping up from the bench and stepping toward him.

"Hey..." He glanced around at the other students moving through the little park; bit his bottom lip anxiously. "Sorry to surprise you like this."

Junhong slipped an arm around him. "It's a pleasant surprise. You look really nice today."

Taeil settled against his side, a little skittish but noticeably pleased. "Do you need to work today?"

"Yeah." Though he suddenly wished he didn't. "I have a few hours, though. My shift is six to midnight."

"Wanna get dinner?" Taeil reminded Junhong of their early mentorship sessions, only now he was adorably hopeful when he asked and openly pleased when Junhong agreed.

They went to the European Cafe, where the hostess, an English college student named Lillie who Junhong was beginning to think of as a friend, placed them at Taeil's favorite table. She took their order and left them to talk.

Taeil tucked close to Junhong's side, under his arm again. "So, the audition went better than I expected. It turns out the show's being cast by a guy I've worked with before, and he thinks I'm better now than I was back then. He told me right after I finished up that I'm being called back for the next group of auditions."

"That's great!" Junhong smiled, gently tugging Taeil closer. "I guess that's one of the perks of being in the business for a while."

"Obviously, I still need to drop the weight." Taeil admitted. "Nobody wants to see this in a cat costume."

Junhong smirked. "I do. Besides, I still don't know where the weight is going to come from." He poked Taeil's side playfully. "If you lose too much, I might break you."

"I'll welcome you to try. I may be small, but I'm tough." Taeil pursed his lips, thinning his eyes at Junhong, who couldn't keep the ornery look off his face. "...And so help me, if you say 'cute' right now..."

"And cute." Junhong couldn't resist.

Taeil scowled ridiculously and bit Junhong's arm, though gently. Lillie raised her eyebrows as she set their food on the table, muttering something in English.

"I asked for that..." Taeil pulled his salad closer. "Diets suck, and I'm probably gonna be living on one for a long time. I apologize in advance for all the whining you're going to endure."

"That makes sense." Junhong took a bite of his barbecued chicken, feeling somewhat guilty about eating it in front of Taeil.

"I could lift weights less and exercise more. Aerobic crap... Walk everywhere like the hobo I was years ago..." Taeil watched Junhong eat. "Or, just dedicate myself to hours and hours of vigorous sex..."

Junhong felt himself blush. "That might work."

Lillie and a few of her colleagues peeked around the corner at them and Taeil laughed awkwardly. He poked at his salad; took a bite. Junhong brushed his fingers along Taeil's cheek, not worried about the girls' judgements. "Your salad looks kinda sad."

"Yeah, sad..." Taeil laid down his fork and leaned against Junhong. "Moving forward so quickly is good, but a little scary. I know part of this is my acting history, but another part is that this troupe likes controversial players. You know the old saying, even negative attention is attention?"

"Except, I've never let myself think about it that way. I've covered my tattoos and hid my feelings..." He held Junhong's hand, stroking across his knuckles. "I can't help worrying that I'm not what they think they're getting. I mean, I'm controversially queer, but I'm not young or pretty... At least I've already done my military service. They could sign me on without the risk of having to let me go again, right away."

"You said you'd been in the military..." Junhong reached across to Taeil's plate, skewering some vegetables and pushing them toward Taeil's mouth. Taeil took the bite, nodding as he chewed. "When did you do that?"

In all honesty, Junhong couldn't imagine it. He didn't want to say that to Taeil, however. He wished he had a better poker face, because Taeil looked at him like he knew exactly what he was thinking.

"I volunteered when I was twenty one." He explained. "And, yeah, I looked pretty stupid in uniform. The other guys in my unit said I looked all of fifteen, and I weighed maybe fifty six kilograms. The commander knew who I was and where I'd been and he watched me like I was an enemy, probably hoping I'd hit on somebody so he could put me in jail. But, I'm glad I did it and got it over with."

Junhong understood that. He still had his service looming ahead of him. They finished their dinners and Taeil paid, thanking Lillie for being so understanding, and then he drove Junhong home. They walked up to the apartment together.

Taeil sat on the edge of Junhong's bed and watched as he changed from his dance clothes to his uniform. "You have the most amazing body..."

"I think you do." Junhong left his uniform shirt unbuttoned. He crowded into Taeil's space and crawled over him when he leaned back against the bed. Taeil slid his hands into the shirt, opening himself to Junhong's kisses. He sighed when Junhong pulled away again and finished dressing.

Junhong talked a bit about his classes and the projects and shows he still needed to complete before the semester was done, and Taeil listened quietly. He gathered random socks and other abandoned clothes into the hamper while Junhong finished getting ready for work and then drove him to the laundromat.

Getting out of Taeil's car and going inside required focused willpower. Junhong slid his namecard through the timeclock and joined his coworker, a new kid who still didn't know how most of the machines worked, at the counter.

Inevitably, he was constantly on call that evening. Two of the machines kept eating patrons' coin, while another refused to accept any payment at all. He was trying to figure out the inactive washer's payment slot problems when someone reached into his pocket and stole his mobile phone. He rounded on the thief and found Jongup, pleasant as ever, turning on his mobile.

"It helps to have it on." He offered it back to Junhong. He had notifications for twelve texts. "...It was a busy weekend. You'll be glad to know that Himchan is happier now. No more fights."

His mobile had been turned off all weekend? Junhong gave it an incredulous look. "Um, yeah. That's good to know."

"Where were you?" Jongup asked mildly.

Junhong shook his head. "Maybe it's best if you don't ask."

Jongup smiled innocently. "Oh, I know what you were doing. You're obvious."

Junhong thought he might die a little inside. He covered his face. His unhelpful coworker watched intently, as did a few customers. Jongup smiled and waved at them, then shrugged at Junhong. "It's okay. Me too."

Junhong raised his eyebrows. "Wait, what? I didn't think you were in a relationship, Jonguppie..?"

Jongup wandered around a bank of driers. "Do you ever think about what all this spinning does to the clothes?" He continued forward and watched an industrial washer go around. "What if it works like winding a watch, and your clothes are getting further into the future every time you wash them? And, if they get far enough in the future they disappear from now... Like that's where lost socks go...?"


	25. "...annoying my own self"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People are complicated, and good communication takes time to learn...

The text arrived while Junhong was lying in bed Monday night, trying and failing to sleep, hugging his pillow and thinking about how inadequate it was as a substitute for Taeil.

[BangY 1:16am: Gig Friday night at Neon. We start setting up at four. Text if you have any questions or conflicts.]

That didn't make sleeping any easier, but he managed, even though he was tired at his classes the next day and didn't do his best work. His dance instructor noticed, of course, and lectured him after class, so Taeil was already waiting by his door when he got home.

"Sorry!" He unlocked the door and held it open for Taeil, then went immediately to clean up and change out of his sweaty dancewear. When he returned, Taeil was curled up in the corner of his couch with the script for Cats.

Junhong settled next to him. "Should I do vocal exercises?"

"Unless you've given up on music..." Taeil muttered. At the beginning of the semester, Junhong would have thought he was annoyed. Now he recognized it as half-hearted teasing.

Junhong smiled. "Of course not."  
He pushed the script against Taeil's chest, stealing a kiss when he looked up and settling down on the couch next to him. "In fact, my band has a show Friday night. Feel like coming to a loud, crowded dance club to listen?"

Taeil looked at the back of the script, where it was folded against his chest. "I usually avoid nightclubs... ...but I'll go to one to see you perform. Yeah." He rubbed Junhong's shoulder and got up, wandering off to the bathroom.

He returned a few minutes later with a bemused look on his face. "Your scale is a liar. I like its lies, but it's still wrong. I have not lost a kilo in three days." He perched on the arm of the couch and smiled down at Junhong. "Do you have a preference about how I dress?"

Junhong felt a bit lost. "Um... Be comfortable?"

"I mean Friday night." Taeil clarified. "Not all the time. Geez... I don't even know how I should dress all the time, I wouldn't ask you to decide that. I just wear whatever feels right from day to day, but we're talking about your show..."

"Oh. Dress for a nightclub?" Junhong knew that sounded feeble. "We're playing at Neon... What did you wear last time you went to a nightclub?"

"Last time..." Taeil looked a bit distant. He shook his head. "Um... Last time I went to any kind of bar was with Sohee - the soprano from the opera - and I wore vinyl pants and a long shirt... Would that kind of thing be embarrassing to be seen with? Or, um... I should probably just behave, right?"

"Behave?" Junhong was confused for a moment. "Wait, like pretend we're not together?"

"I mean-" Taeil looked wary.

"No. You said we wouldn't do that." Junhong took his hands, staring into his eyes. "Wear the vinyl, and be my cool, cute boyfriend."

Taeil stared at him, searching. He nodded, very faintly. "Okay."

"What is it?" Junhong asked, but he could already tell he wouldn't get an explanation.

"Sing your scales." Taeil ordered. "We're way behind already."

Junhong complied, hurrying through his vocal exercises. He was sure he'd mastered all of them, but Taeil's dedication to the project was admirable. When he was halfway through his last exercise, Taeil began looking through his kitchenette.

"Kimchi and ramyun..." He groused softly. "Food of poor college kids across Korea... Nothing for your dieting boyfriend."

"Sorry." Junhong took a few folders out of his schoolbag. "I haven't shopped in a while."

Taeil insisted upon shopping and was gone, leaving Junhong to wonder about his state of mind and anything that might be causing him stress. With no options to help, he tackled his homework, and was finishing a paper about the history of krumping when Taeil returned.

"Be warned. Cooking isn't my strongest skill." Taeil went directly to the kitchen and started unloading the groceries he'd bought. He cut and began marinating a portion of beef, then started cleaning vegetables. By the time Junhong finished his paper, dinner was ready.

The food was better than Taeil had implied, though Taeil only ate the vegetables. Junhong washed the dishes while Taeil read the words he'd written for the EP tracks in his lyrics notebook. As soon as the dishes were done, he joined his boyfriend on the couch again.

"These are good..." Taeil gave the notebook back. He leaned across Junhong's crossed legs to kiss him. It was getting late. "Hey... Can I stay? I know it's only Tuesday, but-"

"Yeah." Junhong laid the notebook aside and took Taeil's hands. "...Only, my bed is pretty small."

"So am I." Taeil said, more earnestly than usual. Normally, Junhong would expect a statement like that to be meant as humor. "I won't take up much room. You can lay on me..."

"If I do that, we won't sleep." Junhong teased.

Only, Taeil looked uncomfortably serious. "Okay, should I just go? I mean, that's why I asked. If you want me to leave, just say so. ...don't do whatever this is."

Junhong wrapped his arms around Taeil. His muscles felt tense, like he was ready to fight or run. "What's happening right now? I really do want you to stay. I'm just warning you that my bed is tiny..."

He felt Taeil's hands tighten into fists under his arms; felt the pull of fabric as Taeil gripped his shirt. Some of the tension went out of his body, but he still looked like he was thinking too much. ".....the size of your bed isn't a problem."

Junhong rubbed his back. "Okay, but what's bothering you?"

Taeil held his breath for a moment; shrugged. "I guess I'm bothering me."

Junhong resisted the urge to laugh. "How so?"

"I'm just being stupid... I keep expecting you to start playing games with me, and you don't need that, but I just keep catching myself..." He sighed, pressing his cheek against Junhong's chest and pulling a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

"You're okay." Junhong kept rubbing his back, working down his spine. "I'm not going to do that, okay?"

"Okay." Taeil nodded against his chest. He took another deep breath and looked up at Junhong. "Do you mind if I go take a shower? I'm annoying my own self right now..."

"Ah, go ahead." Junhong smiled reassuringly. "And, you're not annoying me... Just so you know."

Taeil offered him a tight little smile. He closed himself in the bathroom and Junhong heard the water start running as he locked up and turned out lights, then relocated to the bedroom.

It looked filthy compared to Taeil's. He quickly changed his sheets and tidied up, barely finishing before Taeil left the bathroom, wet haired and wearing a pair of Junhong's sweats and a tee, both of which were far too big. Taeil gathered extra fabric in his hands and laughed a little, nervously.

Junhong laughed with him, hugging him. "Obviously what's mine is yours, so... Make yourself comfortable."

Taeil had left the bathroom cleaner than when he started, and Junhong felt a bit embarrassed as he took a shower. When he finished up, he found Taeil curled up in his bed, tucked close to the wall, already partially asleep.

He shut off the light and slipped into bed by the glow of the city that constantly flooded through his bedroom window. Taeil sighed, shifting against him, tucking one leg over his hip and snuggling under his chin.

His hair smelled like Junhong's shampoo, and Junhong irrationally thought of Pyo Jihoon's cologne again. He wasn't sure if it was good or bad to have Taeil smell like his products, but he didn't want to treat him like a possession.

Taeil touched his face, shifting his head further from Junhong's on the pillow. He stared, peacefully, as his fingers traced the edge of Junhong's ear and pushed back, into his damp hair. He sounded half-asleep. "I can't ever get enough of you... You're so gorgeous, so sweet, so talented... I'm so lucky to have you... Thank you for letting me stay."

"You're always welcome..." He held Taeil close and hoped it was obvious that he felt the same.


	26. "...try breaking me."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shadows of Taeil's past...

They'd never played at Neon before, and if Junhong had his choice, they never would again.

The show was successful, the crowd big enough to ensure a decent door profit, even when ten percent was split among the six members of the band. The stage was big enough, the speakers modern, but the staff...

They'd just finished their show; Yongguk and Youngjae were loading the gear into the car and Himchan was talking to the club manager about their pay. The energy in the club was nearly effervescent, the DJ taking over and keeping the pace and volume going with well-chosen songs.

Junhong had found Taeil at the front of the crowd, off to the side a bit, where he'd been throughout the show. He'd offered a cold drink and thrown an arm around Junhong, looking handsome under the flickering lights.

They'd kissed, and maybe they got a little carried away. Maybe Taeil deepened the kiss too much, but it didn't merit the way the bouncers grabbed them and pulled them out the back doors and into the alley.

One of the bouncers had a bottle in his hand, and for a second, it looked like he was going to hit Taeil with that. Then all of Junhong's friends were there, surrounding them, looking like trouble. The only person who didn't look ready to fight was Taeil. He just looked terrified.

Yongguk walked them back to Taeil's car, and Junhong had to ask Taeil if they could go home together. Yongguk muttered something about shock and watching out for Taeil, then let them go.

Taeil drove home in silence, and almost dropped his keys letting himself into his building. He took the lift, leaning against its wall, and Junhong unlocked the door to his flat. His hands were shaking so much he could barely wipe off his melting eyeliner.

"Taeil..." Junhong caught hold of him; held him still. "Are you okay?"

Taeil held Junhong's belt-loops, looking up at him. "You were fantastic. The whole show was really, really good..."

Junhong nodded. He raised an eyebrow.

Taeil bit his bottom lip. He sucked it, eyes searching the air between their bodies. "Those bouncers were pretty pissed off over a kiss..."

"Yeah." Junhong covered Taeil's hands with his own. "That was stupid."

Taeil nodded, slowly. "It's been a long time since...anything like that happened to me..."

Which started the wheels turning in Junhong's mind. He knew Taeil had scars, but he'd never given a lot of thought to their origins. The worst of them could easily be blamed on a motorcycle mishap. He reached for Taeil.

Taeil let go Junhong's belt-loops and stepped back, shaking his head. "Go shower. You're sweaty, and you smell like cigarettes. ...but still not old people and shoes." He made an effort to tease.

Junhong watched him walk into the bedroom, listened to him opening drawers. He undressed slowly and started the shower; closed the curtain around himself. At some point in the last week, Taeil had bought the products Junhong usually used and placed them among his own.

He was washing his hair when he heard a tap on the door. "Hey... Do you mind if I come in?" Taeil peeked around the overlap in the curtain.

"Get in here." Junhong teased, and Taeil knew the best spot to step over the side of the tub. He wrapped his arms around Junhong's chest anyway, ducking his head a little as the water hit him.

"Want me to get your back?" Taeil offered, and Junhong was careful about turning around. Taeil scrubbed Junhong's back and shoulders. "How the hell does a guy your size move so gracefully?"

"Training?" Junhong turned around, letting the soap wash off his back and shoulders. "Let me get yours, too."

Taeil turned, which gave Junhong the chance to not only wash his back, but to look him over more closely. He'd already lost enough weight to be visible, especially in his waist and thighs. Junhong went on to massage shampoo into his hair, trying to get a better look at the scar behind his left ear. That could have been a bottle hitting him...

"Quit fussing." Taeil ordered, turning around. He rinsed and turned off the water.

There were two towels on the radiator, and lounge pants and a tee laid out in Junhong's size. Taeil dried off and dressed, watching Junhong discover everything.

"You got me a toothbrush?" He checked and found his brand of toothpaste as well.

"Well, yeah." Taeil shrugged. "I wanted you to feel comfortable when you stay over..."

He turned on the vent and ducked out of the bathroom, and Junhong pulled his tee on as he followed. Taeil went to the kitchen and poured a glass of low fat chocolate milk. Junhong chuckled. "You're just too cute."

Taeil smiled softly, not even trying to argue. "Okay... Except one day, you're going to look at me and think: why doesn't he just grow the fuck up?"

"Never." Junhong promised.

An unusually introspective look crossed Taeil's face. He finished his milk and washed his cup while Junhong went to look at the jellyfish. Junhong sat down in the chair between the tanks and Taeil came to sit with him, settling into his lap. "You have really awesome friends."

Junhong nodded. "Yeah, the people in my life are all really great." He held Taeil close.

Taeil brushed their lips together, then followed the seam of Junhong's mouth with his tongue. He turned, straddling Junhong's lap. "Come to bed with me?"

Junhong tilted his head slightly, reaching to pull Taeil back for a deeper kiss. He dragged his hands down Taeil's sides, measuring his waist with extended fingers. "You're sure I won't break you?"

"Giant." Taeil kissed him again, then pulled out of his grip. He went to the bedroom, returning before Junhong could follow with a big, fluffy duvet, which he spread out on the carpeted section of the livingroom floor. "Come here and try breaking me."

Taeil pulled his shirt up and off, dropping it on the floor as he sat down on the duvet, watching Junhong intently. The light from the fish tanks washed over him in cool waves, exaggerating the contrast between his pale skin and dark hair.

Junhong slipped out of the chair and crawled to Taeil, settling over him. His limbs were a bit heavy from all the dancing during the show, but he felt motivated. He slid one hand across Taeil's chest, up his shoulder and neck. The difference in their skin color was even more pronounced under such blue light.

As much as he appreciated Taeil's collection of fake glasses, Junhong enjoyed seeing him without them. He kissed one eyelid, then Taeil's nose, then finally his mouth. Taeil immediately opened up to him, gripping the fabric at his hips and sucking his tongue.

Gently, Junhong pulled back. He caught Taeil's wrists and held them down beside his shoulders, kissing down his neck and across his collar. Taeil went still, watching him a bit warily.

"Is this okay?" Junhong rubbed Taeil's wrist with his thumb, trying to ease his nerves. "Can you trust me?"

Taeil nodded, lying still and watching, as if he was still held in place, as Junhong sat up and undressed. He lifted his hips a little when Junhong slipped his pants down and off him, but didn't move otherwise.

Junhong leaned over him, kissing down the center of his chest, then relocating to his right wrist and placing open-mouthed kisses there and all the way up his arm. Taeil watched quietly, breathing rapidly, eyes wide and unfocused.

After doing the same to his left arm, Junhong kissed down Taeil's side, noting the soft gasp at his lower ribs and the fronts of his hips. He didn't feel confident enough to try sucking his dick yet, but kissed his inner thighs and out to the back of one knee.

Taeil lay with his eyes closed, hands curled in loose fists, panting. Junhong noticed that he'd brought the bottle of lube with the blanket, but he didn't see any condoms. It wasn't a problem yet, though.

He squeezed lube into his palm and kissed Taeil's stomach as it warmed. Taeil was watching him again, biting his lip, and Junhong spoke uncertainly. "Tell me if I mess this up."

"You won't." Taeil lifted one leg; let Junhong kiss his thigh and push it closer to his stomach. He closed his eyes again and let his head fall back when Junhong began to prepare him.

"I don't see a condom." Junhong hated asking, but did anyway.

"Mm... It's okay." Taeil opened his eyes, and Junhong saw a flash of insecurity cross his face. "...unless you want one?"

And it dawned on Junhong that Taeil was trusting him. Trusting him to be loyal. He leaned over Taeil, kissing him as he pushed inside him. For a few seconds, the sensation was too much, then he withdrew a little and sunk deep.

"You can move your arms." Though Taeil was already holding on in other ways. He had one leg hooked around Junhong's hips and kept pushing himself up and into each press of Junhong's body against his.

"Oh..." Taeil exhaled unevenly, shifting to the angle he needed and pulling Junhong's hips against his bottom.

Taeil had said that he wasn't much of a dancer, but his body was always astonishing to watch and feel during sex. Junhong slowed down, rolling his hips steadily against Taeil, and watched him squirm and shift to make the most of each push.

"Junhong..." Taeil whined. "Come on..."

Junhong didn't let himself move any faster, but he pushed harder. He slid one hand up Taeil's stomach and higher, circling a finger over the nipple ring. He was ready for the tightening of Taeil's body, and kept moving. He slid his hand directly down to Taeil's dick and stroked it.

And that was apparently too much. Taeil shuddered, his entire body shaking as he came. Junhong tried to push himself harder, faster, to keep up, but he wasn't there yet, and the harder he tried, the more Taeil shivered and gasped.

Junhong pulled back, unsure, and Taeil groaned. He rolled them over, straddling Junhong's hips and taking him deep again, bracing his hands against Junhong's chest and grinding down on him until Junhong reached his climax.

Taeil looked almost fey sitting on him, eyes closed tight, enduring the last of their aftershocks. He leaned forward further, barely reaching Junhong's mouth for a quick kiss, then crawled off him and curled against his side, head resting on his chest.

In the patterned light, he seemed more graceful, but more fragile. Junhong rolled a bit more toward him, rubbing his back and finger-combing his hair, trying to think of a way to apologize for the awkwardness of the sex.

Taeil held on to him; stretched to murmur against the side of his neck.

"I love you..."


	27. "That's what adults do"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jihoon admits he made a mistake...

They were lying in bed the next morning, Junhong idly tracing Taeil's tattoos with his fingertips, when the telephone rang. Taeil lifted the handset from its cradle (another old fashioned thing, this one claiming in English to belong to a motorcycle repair shop). He spoke briefly, formally - something about 'understanding' and 'seeing' - and ended the call with a polite apology. Then he hung up and lay staring at the ceiling.

Junhong watched him, waiting as a pair of theories battled inside his mind. Finally, Taeil snuggled into Junhong's side. He pulled a deep breath and held it, pushed his face against Junhong's shoulder and exhaled a sigh.

"Well, the 'investigation' is finally done..." He lifted his head. "They're dissolving my contract. Apparently it's being filed as an ethics breech, but I expected that."

Junhong sighed, brushing his fingers over Taeil's cheek before kissing it. "Well, at least you have a call back for the theatre. They will definitely accept you. You're so talented and you've already lost weight, too much if you ask me but... I'm sure things will work out."

"I'm not even halfway there..." Taeil muttered. He laid his cheek against Junhong's chest and closed his eyes. "It's so weird. I was ready for another big scandal - I mean, I was terrified of it, but resigned, you know? But they said I was being dismissed for... Fighting? I'm going to sound like I've gone unbalanced. Which, who knows? But at least the waiting is over...even if I look like the worst imaginable kind of mentor."

Junhong shook his head. "The school offered to give me another mentor but I told them I didn't want to switch. Byun sun-seng nim seemed proud." He shrugged, sliding his hand down to Taeil's lower back and quickly pressing his lips to Taeil's. "Besides, I love you as a mentor and a boyfriend."

"I'm glad..." Taeil lifted his head, smiling softly. He pressed another kiss to Junhong's mouth, lingering to suck his bottom lip, then crawled out of bed. "Well, I'm too jittery to lay around any longer. I'm gonna make breakfast. You go ahead and relax. No hurry."

Taeil stretched and wandered out of the room without dressing. Junhong watched after him. He too, had too much energy to lay around for long, so he got up and went through a series of stretches, then he walked towards the bathroom. He cleaned up and didn't bother dressing further than a pair of sweatpants before heading towards the kitchen.

Taeil was wearing Junhong's unbuttoned overshirt from the prior day, along with his own sleep pants that had been left on the livingroom floor. Junhong stepped behind him, wrapping his arms around him as he turned bracken fern fiddleheads over in the pan.

"I cooked up some leftover duck for you, too." Taeil gestured toward a covered plate. He leaned his head back against Junhong's chest, his hair sticking up in front of his left ear. In the brighter light of the kitchen, Junhong could see remnants of eyeliner gathered in the outer corners of his eyes.

They were dividing the fiddleheads between their plates when bells began tinkling through the flat, like an array of windchimes before a storm. Taeil grinned at Junhong's confusion. "That's my doorbell."

Junhong smiled back at him, taking both plates toward the table. "Even your doorbell is cool!"

The chimes continued, and Taeil ducked into his foyer, crossing the sides of his borrowed shirt over his chest as he unlocked the door. Junhong didn't hear any conversation, and once he reached the table he couldn't see the door.

He walked a little closer and saw Pyo Jihoon closing the door behind himself. His cologne - the original scent - was already noticeable. Taeil looked indecisive, glancing between them anxiously.

Jihoon froze when he noticed Junhong, looking him over with barely concealed displeasure. In the foggy surface of the glass panels, they made an ironic picture. Jihoon probably thought he was dressed casually, wearing a violet knit top over a white button down and grey slacks, his hair styled into an artfully messy wave. Junhong was barely dressed at all, and his hair was a genuine mess of natural curls.

Taeil sighed, gesturing for Jihoon to follow him into the livingroom. "Come in, sit down... Peace?"

Except, Jihoon didn't sit. He stayed close to Taeil's side, following him through the kitchen where he fetched drinks, then over to the table. Taeil looked tired, though he hadn't before.

"Taeilie..." Jihoon reached for Taeil; stopped himself when Junhong cleared his throat. "I'm so sorry..."

"Oh... ...are you?" Taeil set two bottles of juice on the table and offered the third to Jihoon.

Jihoon shook his head, frowning when Taeil just added to bottle to the area in front of Junhong. "I didn't think they would fire you..."

"Jesus... ...you already know about that? I just found out less than an hour ago." Taeil stared at his breakfast, possibly trying to decide if it would be too rude to eat while he had a guest. He made a face, very mildly, just a tightening around his eyes and mouth. "Did mom and dad tell you?"

Any adult Junhong knew would be offended, but Jihoon nodded. "Well, dad did. ...I didn't say anything incriminating, you know. When they interviewed me, I lied..."

"I bet you did." Taeil kept staring at his plate. "It would look pretty bad for you if you said we were fucking."

Junhong reached over and skewered a forkful of fiddleheads and waved them in front of Taeil's mouth. Jihoon stared at both of them, looking nervous and upset. "I don't like calling it that."

"I know." Taeil thinned his eyes at Junhong, though he looked placid enough. He took the bite that was still being waved in front of him and climbed up into his chair. "It's okay, Jihoon. This isn't the first time I've had to scramble to find my way, and it's not going to kill me. I'm not even particularly mad at you, even though you avoided me for a month and freaked out publicly over something you always insisted I keep completely private..."

"You're mad at me." Jihoon insisted.

"Yeah, a little." Taeil admitted. "...but I've been mad at you before and I coped. I'll cope again. That's what adults do."

Junhong turned a disapproving look on Jihoon. Jihoon glanced at Taeil, then glared pure venom at Junhong. Somehow, that was painfully amusing, and Junhong couldn't help smirking. This poor fool had known Taeil for years and he seemed to only now be realizing that he was worth a little effort.

Then, Jihoon turned a flawlessly contrite look on Taeil and Junhong lost the small surge of sympathy he'd been feeling. No wonder Taeil expected him to play games!

"I'm sorry I avoided you. I really am." Jihoon sounded miserable. "I know it was immature. But, I want to make things better. I can help."

"Bullshit, Jihoon!" Taeil slammed his hand down on the table, making the dishes jump. "What do you want to do? Pay my bills?! That would look really good, wouldn't it? There would be a paper trail basically declaring I was your... Your... No. You don't want to 'help'. You just don't like that your game turned too adult."

Junhong watched Taeil's hands, which were held in fists again, and just beginning to shake. Jihoon didn't seem to notice, though he looked wounded. "It wasn't a game."

Maybe he didn't recognize his own machinations? Junhong raised his eyebrows, knowing his eyes were wide. He didn't know if Taeil would want him to offer comfort just then, but he did anyway, just brushing his fingers over Taeil's knuckles.

Taeil shook his head, though it seemed aimed at Jihoon. He looped one finger around Junhong's thumb and looked at Jihoon. "Can we not do this? Can I just say that I don't want your help this time and maybe work back toward being friends?"

Jihoon looked at Junhong. He seemed to be weighing his options before speaking, something Junhong was surprised he could do. "So, I was right."

"Oh, God." Taeil scrubbed at his hair, leaving it messier than before. He took a deep breath. "Just... Don't. Please? I miss you. I honestly do. Just, none of the lies and the bullshit. Can I just promise never to hit you again and you promise not to touch me in non-friend ways and then we can go from there?"

Jihoon stared at Junhong, looking incredibly bitter. Junhong felt too awkward to endure. He wanted to look away, but at the same time, there was a challenge in Jihoon's glare and he couldn't back down. He tried for a blank expression.

"Look at me, Jihoon." Taeil said softly. "Can we agree to that?"

Jihoon met Taeil's eyes, then turned his gaze to the table, looking deep in thought. He shrugged. "Probably not. I'll probably still touch you, without thinking."

"I'll probably punch you, without thinking." Taeil warned.

Jihoon nodded. "Maybe... For a while..."

Junhong's eyes thinned toward Jihoon and he pursed his lips. For a while? Was he seriously implying that Taeil would go back to him? He glanced at Taeil before looking back to Jihoon. He inhaled deeply, immediately regretting it when he got a lungful of Jihoon's cologne even with the distance between them. 

He tried to return to his previous, disapproving yet blank expression, and when he failed to do that, he stood. He didn't want to let go of Taeil's hand when Jihoon was standing right there but he was sick of the cologne and didn't want to smell it for the rest of the day.

Junhong walked from window to window, opening them with enough (possibly unnecessary) force to attract both Taeil's and Jihoon's attention. Both stared after him, watching silently for the first few windows. Then, suddenly, Taeil started laughing.

Jihoon looked confused. He watched as Junhong finished opening the last window and returned to the table, where Taeil pulled him into a hug. Standing so close to Jihoon, Junhong was surprised by how much softer the man was than him. His jackets always made his shoulders look broader, giving him the illusion of being almost Junhong's size, but he clearly wasn't one to work out.

"What's funny?" Jihoon asked, looking worried and left out.

"Life is funny, Jihoon." Taeil dismissed. He tucked his head into the indent of Junhong's collar, holding on to him with an arm loosely around his waist. "...and, you know what? I'm glad you chose now to come over."

Junhong wasn't sure he understood all of what Taeil was implying, but he understood enough. He squeezed Taeil a bit closer and laughed.


	28. "...now, don't panic, but..."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes bad sitiations bring out the worst in people. Other times, they bring out the best.

Early Sunday morning, Junhong's mobile rang, but he let it. He was lying against Taeil, moving inside him, and nothing else mattered. He promptly forgot about the call and didn't check after it for the rest of the day. He was too involved with talking to Taeil, singing with him, and making love to him.

It wasn't until he was hurriedly getting ready for his Monday classes that he noticed that Himchan had called. He listened to the message while he rode the bus to school.

"Junie, the side column on the front page of the entertainment section is all about Taeil. They say he attacked an intern at the Arts Center... This wouldn't happen to be that rude Jihoon, would it? You should look at that. It's ridiculous. These people obviously haven't ever seen Taeil before. They make him sound like a bruiser. Maybe they don't know he's tiny?"

Junhong located a day-old paper at school and read it himself, and it frustrated him all day. He sent a text to Taeil after classes and before his allotted dance studio time, but even at the end of the day, there was no reply. Taeil never even read the text.

Tuesday morning, he began to really worry. The text still showed as unread, and he spent his classes counting down to two o'clock, when Taeil should be at his apartment. However, two o'clock came and went, and none of the five texts he'd sent by then had been read.

A little after three o'clock, he tried calling instead. The line buzzed six times before it redirected to Taeil's voicemail, an outdated promise to get back with the caller soon, which Junhong doubted would happen.

He immediately dialed Taeil's home phone number, having finally learned it. That rang twelve times before he hung up. It made no sense. He couldn't imaging Taeil sulking about the article.

He didn't know any of Taeil's friends' numbers, but he knew Minhyuk's and Kyung's full names. He looked them up on the Internet and tried Kyung first, since he was the one who seemed to mother his friend group.

The person who answered was not Kyung. The voice was too low, and he thought it might be Jiho. "Yeah?"

"Hey, um..." He looked at his mobile. Yep, right number. "Is Kyung there?"

"Who wants to know?" It was definitely Jiho.

"Ah, Choi Junhong." He waited.

"Oh. Yeah. Hang on." The phone crackled - outside - he'd heard it enough from Himchan.

Kyung sounded far more cheerful. "Hallo?"

"Hey, Kyung-hyung. Do you know where Taeil is right now?" Junhong fidgeted nervously with the sleeve of his shirt as he tried not to sound panicked. "Or... Do you know if Taeil is okay?"

"It's Tuesday afternoon..." Kyung moved out of the breeze. It sounded like he slid a door shut. "I thought he spent Tuesday and Thursday afternoons with you?"

"Yeah, usually... But he hasn't come over and he isn't responding to my texts, or my calls, and..." He stood and began pacing his living room. "He hasn't even read my texts, and, um..."

"Okay. Calm down." Kyung sounded impossibly calm. "I'll find out what's going on and call you back, okay?"

"Okay... Thank you so much, hyung." Junhong sat back down on the couch, trying to calm down. Unfortunately, he was left waiting a very long time. 

He had to give up and make himself dinner eventually, but however hungry he was, the food felt like rocks in his stomach. He began pacing again, and eventually took his mobile for a run around the housing block. He was running back toward home by lamplight when his mobile rang.

He quickly retrieved it from his pocket and didn't bother looking at the caller ID. "Hello?"

"Hi, it's me." Kyung said a bit too evenly. "Now, don't panic, but Taeil is in the hospital..."

Junhong stopped abruptly, thinking it was a little to late to 'not panic'. "What? Do you know why? Is he okay?"

"My information is coming from Jihoon..." Kyung admitted, as if that was especially meaningful. "It isn't the most detailed. In fact, there are almost no details. Jihoon tends to get a bit excited..."

"Oh..." Junhong couldn't quite bring himself to be angry with Jihoon because him knowing what was going on either meant he cared more than Junhong originally thought or he was more of an ass that Junhong originally thought. He wanted to assume the previous. Although he himself wasn't calm, he wished Jihoon would calm down so he could know what the hell was going on. He began to walk again, though at a slower pace. "I see... Do you know what hospital he's at?"

Kyung gave him all the pertinent location information, and even offered to drive him there if he had no other way, but the hospital was close enough enough that it would be quicker to walk or catch a bus than to wait for Kyung if he lived anywhere near his studio.

Even then, Junhong knew it was too late to show up at a hospital and expect to be admitted. By the time he reached his door again, it was almost ten o'clock. The rebellious freshmen down the hall were heading out to the club, and the senior girl next door was already complaining about noise.

He didn't sleep well that night, and was out of bed early, heading directly to the hospital. The woman at the information desk was polite and kind, but she refused to release any information, since he couldn't prove that he was related.

He was pacing the main lobby, trying to reach Kyung by telephone, when he saw Jihoon step out of a lift. He looked tired and disheveled, his hair laying more naturally than Junhong had ever seen it and his clothing creased. Their eyes met, and both of them sighed.

"Oh, you're here..." Jihoon grumbled. He looked too exhausted to be properly bitter, and came across more resigned than angry. "...have you eaten? I was just going to get breakfast while the doctors are with Taeil."

Junhong was surprised by Jihoon's behavior, but appreciated it. He sighed. "No... I came here as early as I could. But turns out I can't even see him since I can't prove we're related..."

Jihoon glanced toward the desk. He nodded, then started walking toward the canteen. "I'll buy you breakfast."

Junhong raised his eyebrows. "Wait, really?"

"Yes. It's no problem." Jihoon gestured for him to follow, then went so far as to grab his arm and walk. "I've already bought you sushi, why not breakfast? We can talk about what happened."

"Oh, right..." Junhong walked after him, though he wasn't particularly bothered by being grabbed, he didn't think Jihoon could physically pull him anywhere if he resisted.  
"Thank you. Uh, for both."

"You're welcome this time." Jihoon declared. He almost sounded magnanimous, though his lack of energy dimmed the effect. He walked through the serving line and took a few packages, gesturing for Junhong to follow suit, then paid. They sat at one of the far tables. "What do you know?"

"Close to nothing, really." Junhong gestured. "Kyung told me; Taeil's in the hospital and that he got his info from you. That's about it..."

Either Jihoon's food was packaged in more challenging containers than Junhong's or he was giving a lot of thought to what he was going to say. He sipped a little tea; held the cup close, between his hands. "Someone found him early yesterday morning, but the doctors think he was... They think the... He got hurt on Monday. Maybe Monday morning. He was in shock when he got here, so he's been in CCU since then, but they think he's going to be okay."

"Oh." Junhong poked at his food for a moment as he processed. Then he looked up again. He thought of how scared Taeil looked when he was threatened at the club. "Wait, he's in CCU? It's that bad?! How did nobody find him sooner?"

Jihoon looked into his tea. "I don't know... I wondered that, too. But, you know how small he is. I guess nobody saw him... I don't know where he was, exactly. The only reason I'm allowed to be in CCU is because I'm his legal next of kin."

Junhong nodded slowly, that made sense. He tried to sort out his thoughts as they ran circles in his mind. "Is he still in shock?"

"No, but... There were other issues." Jihoon looked at his eggs oddly, as if he hadn't expected to find them in their packaging. "They think he'll be out of CCU soon and in a normal room, just not yet."

Junhong's eyes widened slightly, despite his attempts at staying calm. "What other issues? What happened to him?"

Jihoon pushed his remaining food a little further from him, though it remained on his tray. He rubbed his eyes and stared at Junhong across the table. "This is hard to talk about. I don't know about you, but I see things, like a movie in my head... But, the main Doctor caring for Taeil is very good. He says it looks like there was a group that...attacked him. He lost a lot of blood, and they... It looks like they tried to strangle him. He's having trouble breathing, but it's getting better."

Junhong's eyes widened even further, even though it seemed impossible. "I think I understand but... Seriously?! What is wrong with people?" He wanted to run to Taeil, to make sure he was going to be okay after all, but he knew he couldn't. Junhong looked back down to his tray. He felt too tired to be angry, but he also felt too annoyed to cry. So he was stuck, feeling upset and looking between his food and Jihoon. Neither really offered any kind of comfort. Junhong sighed, slumping in his chair slightly. 

As if freakishly motivated by Junhong's distress, Jihoon finally ate. There was no enjoyment in it, but he finished the small meal he'd bought himself, then he sipped his tea. "You're so young... It's strange, because usually I'm the youngest. But you... I have to admit, I'm jealous that you're so close to Taeil. I can't imagine what he sees in you... But I don't know why he likes me, either. I don't even know how to take care of him right, or to make him happy, and we've been best friends for years... But this is something I understand, and you're completely out of your depth. Aren't you?"

Junhong gestured. "I guess so." He took a sip of his own tea before setting it back down and straightening up. "I mean, I think I know how to make him happy but.... To be honest, I get jealous because you know more about his past and things he likes, and stuff like that."

"Yeah, well..." Jihoon yawned. He began almost maliciously forcing containers inside each other. "I have the past and you have now? That doesn't seem like a very good deal for me. But, that isn't my decision in the end, is it?"

"In the end, what Taeil does is his decision; not either of us. I just want him to be okay." Junhong looked back down to his food and tried to find enough appetite to finish eating.

Jihoon stilled. He leaned back in his chair, looking confounded. "You really.... Okay. Since I'm stuck with being the one who knows Taeil from the past, he'd probably tell you to go to your classes. Come back tomorrow. He'll be in a normal room, then...and I'll put you on the guest list."

Junhong looked at Jihoon again and sighed, managing a small smile. "Thank you, really. I'd appreciate that."

Though, paying attention in class was no easier than it had been the prior day. Sleeping was easier, though only due to a combination of total exhaustion and knowing that Taeil was, at the very least, somewhere safe. Jihoon had been right about Taeil wanting him to go to class, so he didn't come to visit until after classes were over, though he skipped his optional dance lab.

As promised, Taeil was in a normal room, and the nurse at the station allowed Junhong to visit. When he entered the room, there were no other guests. Taeil looked even smaller than usual in the hospital bed, with tubes and wires connecting him to the various monitors and pumps gathered nearby.

His face looked perfect, aside from one bruise by his right temple. His hands were completely covered in bandages. A nurse bustled in immediately after Junhong and began checking his IV, his oxygen tubes, and his vital signs. She glanced at Junhong. "You can pull the chair closer. You won't be in my way."

Junhong dragged the chair closer to Taeil's side and looked from the nurse to Taeil. He didn't want to risk touching his hands so he brushed his fingers across Taeil's forehead and down his cheek, careful to avoid the bruise. Then he looked back up to the nurse. "His face looks okay... But, what happened to his hands?"

She glanced at the bandages, finished adjusting the drip on one of the bags on the IV, and went to check Taeil's chart. "Mostly contusions, but some of the small bones of the wrist are bruised as well. It looks like he tried to protect his head and face from trauma. There were still a few blows to the back of the head, resulting in concussion."

Junhong nodded slowly, looking over Taeil again and stopped himself from resting his hand on Taeil's shoulder. "Was anything else injured?"

She glanced at Taeil, then back at Junhong, with sympathy in her expression. "He has a few more traumatized bones; aside from the wrist. The right tibia and a rib are both damaged, though there were no true breaks. His windpipe was nearly crushed. For the most part, the damage is severe bruising, but there were a few places where stitches were required."

She continued. "The main cause of his complications has been exposure and the delay in treatment. He lost a dangerous amount of blood and didn't get enough oxygen due to swelling in his throat, but the doctor hasn't seen any signs of brain damage."

"Ah...." Junhong gently tucked a piece of hair behind Taeil's left ear. He worried especially about Taeil's throat and his voice. He bit his lip as he turned back to the nurse. "No one knows who did it?"

"You'd need to ask a police officer." She put the chart away and finished checking bags and machines.

She was finishing up when Taeil inhaled oddly, his eyelids fluttering. He opened his eyes halfway and looked toward Junhong, confusion tainting his otherwise sleepy expression. His mouth moved, but there was no sound.

"Hey..." Junhong leaned down, lightly brushing his fingers over Taeil's cheek again.

Taeil reached for his hand, holding on weakly. Junhong carefully took it in both of his and lightly pressed his lips to the back of Taeil's hand.

Again, his mouth moved, but he only managed a formless noise. His brows pulled together, the sleepiness giving way to fear. Outside the door, the nurse began to talk with someone. She was loud enough for both Junhong and Taeil to tell that she was still talking about Taeil.

Then, a middle aged woman entered the room, glancing at them for just a moment before averting her eyes. She took the vase of flowers from Taeil's table and refilled its water from the sink in the connected bathroom, then adjusted the blankets so they laid more evenly over Taeil. She didn't introduce herself, but her appearance was enough to identify her as Taeil's mother.

Junhong bowed as much as he could while still holding Taeil's hand. She barely inclined her head in return; took the meal menu from the table and looked it over. Taeil watched her, then looked back at Junhong. He had tears gathering in his eyelashes, and his breath was coming shallow and uneven. He held Junhong's hand as tightly as his bandaged hand could manage.

Junhong let go with one hand and carefully wiped beneath Taeil's eyes with his thumb before returning to Taeil's hand. "It's going to be okay."

Taeil shook his head slightly, inhaling sharply when it moved too far to one side. His mother looked up from the menu, only briefly, looking back down when tears broke past his eyelashes to track down the sides of his face. He made another odd noise, and held Junhong's hand against his chest.

For once, it was a pleasure to have Jihoon arrive. He looked more like his usual self - well groomed and better rested. He all but sang a greeting to everyone in the room before adding another vase of flowers to the table and kissing Taeil's forehead. If he noticed the tears, he didn't say anything.

He sat down with Mrs. Lee and began talking about absolutely nothing, though he managed to do so in such a compelling way that she was immediately immersed. She eventually interrupted, asking after Taeil's loss of employment and the private room, which seemed an unnecessary expense, and Jihoon placidly insisted that everything was paid. Taeil was his best friend. It was the least he could do.

She was gone again before dinner, and didn't return in the following days. Neither did Taeil's voice -not properly - though his doctor released him from the hospital on Saturday. Jihoon was there with a beautiful car and surprising tolerance for Junhong's presence. They helped Taeil in and out of the car and held him steady as the lift ascended, then watched him curl up in the chair between the fish tanks, where he quickly dozed off.

"He's too small." Jihoon complained quietly, watching him. "I know he was trying to lose weight, but this is too much."

Junhong had to agree. It might be the sweater Jihoon had put on him, but Taeil looked as tiny as a child, curled up the way he was. "I know... I don't know what he weighs now, but they can't want him to lose any more."

There was a moment where Jihoon looked like he might try to kiss Taeil, but he didn't. He straightened up and counted out food for the fish instead, then began gathering the little clutter from the livingroom and taking things back to where they belonged.

This became a serious project when Jihoon reached the foyer, and Junhong eventually left Taeil, who was sleeping soundly, to see what Jihoon was doing. He found him sorting through Taeil's shoes in the camphor cabinet, removing anything that was obviously meant for winter.

When he had four pairs of boots set aside and the other shoes organized, he moved on the wardrobe. There were only two coats taken from it: a grey parka and the familiar brown Armani.

"I hate this coat." Jihoon groused.

Junhong was surprised. He'd come to accept that it had probably come from Jihoon, originally. "It doesn't fit him... But he wears it all the time."

"I know. I hate it. I even bought him a new coat and he left it at my house..." Jihoon draped both coats over his arm and picked up the boots, carrying everything toward Taeil's bedroom. "He stole this coat from Jaewon when they broke up."

Junhong hadn't been inside Taeil's bedroom closet yet. Jihoon went directly in. He hung the coats on a smaller bar in the far corner of the room and added the boots to the bottom shelf of a shoe storage unit, then opened another door at the back of the closet and continued through.

There was another room there, almost as big as Taeil's bedroom, housing a washer and drier, a work table, and a fairly impressive workout area. Jihoon checked the washer and drier, then ducked out a door that Junhong had previously thought was a storage closet behind the piano.

Once he had the hamper from the bathroom and any other laundry he could find, Jihoon started sorting a load into the washer and began talking again. "I don't like anything about Taeil's relationship with Jaewon. It was Taeil's first relationship, and he was in highschool almost the whole time they were together. As far as I'm concerned, that was basically long-term rape. Taeil would never say so, but there are things he does that point to it."

Junhong thought of how Taeil had seemed wary when he held his wrists down during foreplay in the livingroom. He'd gone completely still, even before Junhong asked him to. But Jihoon was right about Taeil denying it. He'd dismissed the concept of himself as a victim when they briefly discussed his past. "Ah..."

"Did you know he lives six blocks from here?" Jihoon abruptly asked. "You could walk to Jaewon's house from here. It wouldn't even take long."

"Really?" Though Junhong didn't know why that mattered. He trusted Taeil.

"He does. Of course, Taeil and he can't stand each other anymore." Jihoon added detergent to the load and started the machine. "Jaewon's wife, Seoyun, is an interior designer. She's actually very nice. She tried to be Taeil's friend at one point, and was the one who found him last time he got beat up. She was pregnant for her son, Baehun, then. He's three now, and a lot like his mom. Whenever I get mad at Jaewon, I think of them and leave the Jeons alone."

"Wait a minute." Junhong tried to stop the constant flow of information. He needed clarification. "Taeil was beat up so badly he had to be found by someone once before?"

"Twice before." Jihoon corrected. "I didn't know him yet the first time, but Minhyuk did. He said Taeil had a really hard time recovering, but he wouldn't tell me anything else. Sometimes I wonder how much of Taeil's fears came from being hurt by strangers and how much came from Jaewon."

Junhong had no idea, but he could understand Jihoon's feelings. He shook his head. "Did anyone find out who attacked him the other two times? Because, if this is the third time, couldn't it be the same people?"

Jihoon just gaped for a moment, then his expression twisted into something comical, suggesting painfully deep thought. "I don't know? That's terrible. I know so many obscure things about Taeil and I don't know that. But, I can ask the police."

Junhong wondered if nobody had thought of that before and stood up straight again. Jihoon was starting to become more tolerable now that he was acting more casual. "That would be great."

"That doesn't mean I'm leaving right away." Jihoon declared. He started a second tour of the flat, gathering garbage this time from the various bins. In the room behind the piano he stopped, looking sideways at Junhong and grinning. "You didn't know this room was here, did you?"

"Yeah..." Junhong admitted. "I didn't exactly get a full house tour the first time I was here. I kinda assumed it was just a storage closet."

Jihoon laughed, loud as always. He combined the garbage and gathered it near the door, sobering as he went. "I'm sorry. It's stupid how much I like knowing things you don't know. I hate being so jealous when I could have acted differently and I'd still have him. I know I'm being unfair, and this is just me wanting to be the most important person to him... Sometimes I even get jealous of Jiho, and whatever happened between them was before me, even."

Junhong thinned his eyes in confusion. "Wait, there was something between Taeil and Jiho? How did that work?"

"I'm sure it was just sex." Jihoon dismissed. He took the garbage out to the landing and opened an iron hatch, revealing a garbage shute. Back inside Taeil's flat, he washed his hands and walked back to the livingroom, opening a few windows before settling on a chair near the couch.

Taeil was still asleep, still exactly as they'd left him. Junhong stared at him, trying to imagine him with Jiho. They had too rough a friendship. All he could imagine was violence. Then he thought about Taeil's scars and his mind wandered down an unhealthy path. If any of those scars came from Jiho, he would be hard pressed not to slap him.

"You're too quiet." Jihoon complained. "Are you always like this? Taeil must do all the talking. But maybe that's good. He's so submissive most of the time, I'm sure you've noticed how easily he gives in if you push him..."

Jihoon scooted forward in his chair, pedaling his leg rapidly. Junhong recognized the same kind of hyperactivity that had led him to study dance. He vaguely wondered what Jihoon normally did with it. Hopefully not pushing Taeil.

"Now that I think about it, that was what upset me so much when he hit me. He doesn't hit people." Jihoon declared. "But I understand it now. It was all because you were there. He didn't want you to see him as my lover, because Taeil had a crush on you, even then."

Jihoon was probably right, though he seemed a little too pleased with himself for figuring it out. That would explain why Taeil got so upset when Junhong asked about Jihoon being his boyfriend. "You were kinda making a scene, though."

"I always make a scene." Jihoon shrugged. "People get confused if I don't. I accepted that when I was still in school. But, I don't think I could ever tell my parents I was involved with Taeil... Or any man. You saw how his mother acts around him. If my parents did that to me, I'd have a nervous breakdown."

"Ah..." Junhong nodded slowly and finally took a seat on the couch. "That makes sense. I'd hate it if my parents did that..." He seriously doubted they would, though.

Taeil shifted in his chair; sat up. He pressed his less-bandaged hand to his throat and pushed himself out of his chair, going directly to the kitchen. Jihoon and Junhong nearly ran into each other following him.

He hadn't gone far. They found him sitting at his desk, his arms folded on its surface and his head resting on them. Jihoon leaned over him, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and touching his cheek to Taeil's. "Are you okay? Do you want a drink?"

Taeil shook his head, but he let Jihoon hug him. As soon as Jihoon stepped back, though, he sat up and reached for Junhong. Junhong knelt by Taeil's chair and carefully wrapped his arms around Taeil's waist, kissing his cheek. "Is your throat feeling any better?"

Jihoon watched them, looking deep in thought again as Taeil tucked his head against Junhong's shoulder, letting his weight settle onto Junhong. His hands, even wrapped as they were, tightened in the fabric at Junhong's sides. He shook his head very slightly.

Junhong sighed and gently rubbed Taeil's back. "Maybe some hot tea would help?" Junhong smiled. "Or maybe some milk?"

"Chocolate?" Taeil whispered. He sounded nothing like himself, raw as his voice was. "Very funny, but I don't want anything."

"I should still go buy groceries. You look like you've been starving." Jihoon glanced at his reflection in the side of a hanging pan, adjusted his collar and headed to the foyer. "I'll be back later. I'm sure Junhong can look out for you."

After the door closed, Taeil lifted his head and looked at Junhong. He looked lost and ashamed, though Junhong couldn't imagine why he would feel that way. "I'm sorry..."

"Why?" Junhong looked over Taeil's face again and pushed his hair back, off his forehead. 

"All the trouble... The past..." His voice gave out. He looked away.

Junhong brushed his fingers across Taeil's cheek, encouraging him to face him and lightly pressed his lips to Taeil's. "You're worth any trouble."

Junhong adjusted his hold around Taeil, getting to his feet and lifting Taeil out of the chair at the same time. He relocated them both to the couch. Taeil held on to him, resting against his chest once Junhong got them settled.

The sitting area smelled vaguely like Jihoon's cologne, and so did Taeil's hair, but Junhong was starting to get used to it. After everything he'd said and done during the week, Junhong realized he didn't mind Jihoon as much now.


	29. Professional musicians don't have the luxury of off days

Junhong was still staying at Taeil's flat when he got a call from the leader of the troupe he'd auditioned for. Taeil's throat had recovered enough to hold a short conversation without sounding raw, so he sounded like his usual self through the entire call.

After he hung up, he stopped talking. He picked up his mobile and typed a text, but showed it to Junhong rather than sending it.

[They read about me in the paper.]

Junhong wasn't sure what that meant. "Oh? Is that good or bad?"

[Good, I guess. They're making me a member of the troupe without a second audition, contingent upon the recovery of my voice and how well I do in 'cats'.]

Only, he didn't look enthusiastic.

"You'll be great." Junhong encouraged, though he knew how quickly Taeil's voice still gave out, and how little he could do without hurting himself. "When do you need to be ready?"

Taeil held up five fingers. "Weeks." He gave a thumb's up. "Can do."

Junhong smiled, though he would have been more convinced if Taeil didn't feel the need for signing half the conversation. He didn't point that out, though. He had four weeks until exams, and still too much to do to finish his classes.

Once he knew Taeil could take care of himself, Junhong spent a lot of extra time in the dance labs. The class recital was just days away, and he still didn't feel completely sure of a few moves. Every evening, though, he came back to Taeil's flat.

Taeil was also busy, pacing around with the script in his hand, occasionally speaking but mostly just committing his part to body memory. He still refused to eat anything solid, supposedly to spare his throat, though he sat at the piano at least an hour each day, practicing his songs.

On Wednesday, Junhong got to the flat at almost eleven pm, and Taeil was still up, at the piano, playing through one of the more challenging vocal transitions in his part.

"Do you know what time it is?" He dropped his duffel bag just inside the livingroom and walked to the piano.

"After bedtime?" Taeil muttered. He stretched his arms out in front of him and winced. "For normal people, or just invalids?"

"Normal people." Junhong yawned. He leaned down to kiss Taeil, then pointed toward the bathroom. "You're working too hard. Please be done when I finish my shower."

"Okay, oppa." Taeil smiled to himself. He began to play through the sequence again. 

Junhong shook his head and left him to it. When he was finished with his shower, he found Taeil exactly where he'd left him, though he stopped when the door opened. Junhong walked to the piano with his arms crossed and one eyebrow raised.

Taeil took his mobile from the top of the piano and held it out.

[Professional musicians don't have the luxury of off days, remember?]

Junhong hugged him, knowing full well that he was still damp. Taeil made an indignant noise, but he didn't let go. "What about professional musicians who just got out of the hospital?"

"Depends if they want to stay professional..." He sounded scratchy, though, and looped his arms around Junhong's waist. "...Bed?"

"Yes." Junhong let him get up without assistance, and didn't bother trying to help with closing up. Taeil was only satisfied if he did it himself.

At least the bruises were maturing to dull brown spots and the stitches seemed to be healing well. Taeil didn't even have real casts on any of his damaged bones, just close-fitting braces that held everything securely so it could heal.

He still slept with a pile of pillows bolstering him up. Junhong tucked in beside him after turning out the bedroom light, idly rubbing his bicep. "You should probably try some solid food tomorrow. Eggs, maybe?"

"Mm." Taeil laid a hand over Junhong's. "Eggs might be okay."

Junhong still hadn't even seen Taeil with his shirt off. His neck still looked bad enough to make people uncomfortable, but it was supposed to be the worst of the damage. Junhong still favored the idea of Taeil resting, but that rarely happened. "Um, I didn't mention it before, but that recital I have to do for dance class is this Friday. My parents and hyung are coming... Do you feel well enough to come?"

Taeil rolled his head to the side a bit. "Oh... That's probably not a great idea..." He pressed his hand to his head, where the bruise was almost gone.

"How so?" Junhong propped his head up on his elbow.

"Your parents...?" Taeil still didn't look at him. "You probably don't want to do that, yet. I mean, rumors are one thing, but..."

"But what? I'd really like it if they met you. I mean, I understand if you don't want to go, but, it would be nice." Junhong sucked his bottom lip between his teeth and scooted a bit closer to Taeil. "I feel like they would appreciate being told the truth rather than just hearing rumors all the time."

That got Taeil to look at him. He made a slightly pained noise and sat up. "Okay. ...I'll go."

Junhong smiled, carefully wrapping his arms around Taeil and kissing him. "Thank you."


	30. "Please don't give up on me..."

Taeil could probably drive his own car, but Himchan offered to bring him and he accepted, and that was somehow comforting to Junhong because it ensured he would get there without any risks along the way.

Junhong needed to be completely focused. His choreography was only twenty minutes long, but that twenty minutes would determine one quarter of his final grade in his dance class. He pushed his earbuds in and listened to the tracks he'd chosen, looped together, getting himself into the zone.

As he'd seen so many times before, the wait was harder than the performance. The stage was hot and bright, the audience a dark sea beyond him. He nailed every move, every transition. As long as his instructor liked the way he'd planned it all, he should be set.

By the time everyone else was done, he'd cleaned up and could just join the crowd. He expected to need to maneuver around several of his classmates, but was surprised to see only a few meeting friends and family.

Once offstage, his group was easy to find. Daehyun's voice was loud enough to carry over the din of the exiting audience, and Jongup was waiving an oddly shaped light over Yongguk's head. Taeil had dressed nicely, though he had to be uncomfortable in his waistcoat, with a traumatized rib.

He stood close to Himchan, waiting as Junhong's family hugged him and complimented his dancing. Perhaps trying to head off trouble, Yongguk suggested that everyone go out to dinner together, his treat.

That left Junhong to pick the venue. The choice was obvious. The European cafe was both discreet and affordable, and the food was excellent. His brother asked him to ride in the car with his family, so he did. Otherwise, they might never find the right place.

Lillie was on duty when they arrived, and made quick work of pulling together the smaller rectangular tables in the back dining room to make one long table. Junhong thanked her and made a point of sitting beside Taeil, linking their hands, laying them on the table top.

Taeil looked wary. He'd begun eating egg and tofu, as promised, but still looked too small and too pale, and the bruises on his temple and his neck were still visible, though faded. The braces on his wrists were hidden, like his tattoos, by the overlong sleeves on the blue shirt he'd layered under his waistcoat.

Junhong smiled reassuringly before turning to where his parents and hyung sat together. He took a deep breath and prepared for what he hoped wouldn't happen. "This is my boyfriend, Taeil. I was hoping that now would be a good enough time to introduce you all."

Thank God no food had been served yet, because Himchan was surprised enough by the timing to knock over the flower arrangement. Junhong's mother rescued the flowers and the vase while Yongguk began sopping up water.

His hyung boggled at him, though he looked like he used to when they were younger and Junhong failed to tell him any secret first. His father looked surprised, but calm, as was his tendency. "How long ago did this happen?"

"Well it became official about a month ago." Junhong looked at Taeil again, who was staring at him, putting effort into staying calm. He was pinching the hem of his waistcoat, but he wasn't clinging to anything yet.

The words 'became official' seemed to hold extra meaning for his parents. He didn't want to speculate about what they were thinking. His mother fixed a loving look on him, before looking to his father to continue.

"What do you do for a living, Taeil?" His father was looking at Taeil's neck. He was trying to be polite about it, but it couldn't be helped. "Are you a student, like Junhong?"

Taeil gave that a little more thought than was normal. "I, uh... I'm in theater right now."

The waitress had begun setting drinks on the table and made it almost impossible to hear Taeil. Junhong had forgotten how quiet he could be when nervous.

Now his entire family was looking at the bruises. Taeil looked like he might make a break for it if his hand wasn't being held. Junhong saw his mother's expression turn toward reproach, like when he was young and did something he shouldn't.

Himchan looked ready to butt in. Taeil pulled a deep breath, smothering a wince, and tried again, with more of a stage voice. "Theater. I used to be in opera."

Junhong's parents looked confused. His hyung spoke. "Used to be in opera? You must be very talented to have done both already at your age."

Junhong smiled, trying to regain what ever he just felt fly out the window. Though, he really didn't want to put too much pressure on Taeil's throat. "He's 26, but he is extremely talented."

And that silenced his entire family, plus Youngjae and Daehyun. All five stared openly at Taeil, who sank a little in his chair. Himchan looked vaguely offended. Yongguk exhaled an awkward laugh.

Lillie returned, breaking the moment to take their orders, then the discomfort settled over them again. After the entrees arrived, Jongup began to talk about something far astray of the topic, and dinner became slightly more tolerable.

It wasn't that his family was rude. They weren't. They were the epitome of politeness. However, there was a stifling sense of discomfort - of wrongness - even after everything was done.

His mother cornered him as they were leaving the cafe. She looked openly uncomfortable. "Please, tell me with absolute sincerity that you were not the source of those bruises."

Junhong's eyes widened even though he was expecting that question. He lowered his voice to just above a whisper. "Of course not. He was... attacked just after he left the opera."

He felt a tug at the back of his shirt, something he knew would be Taeil but hadn't thought about before in terms of a bystander's perspective. He hadn't even realized that this was another of Taeil's many childish behaviors until it happened in front of his family.

Junhong turned a little to face him and looped an arm around his shoulders. "Hey."

He held up his mobile in lieu of speaking.

[You can invite them back home, unless you think that would make things worse...?]

Junhong nodded and turned back to his family. "Uh... Want to come back to Taeil's place with us? Maybe we can talk a bit more?"

He didn't know what to expect, but half an hour later, Taeil was pouring coffee (the good stuff. Coffee snob stuff) for five. He served it at the sitting area in the livingroom, since he still couldn't get into his own dining chairs without reopening wounds, then he pulled the desk chair out of the kitchen for himself.

His mother needed a better explanation, so Junhong told a slightly edited version of the development of their relationship. Taeil's flat made a good impression, as did his fish and his piano playing, and the fact that he was always more confident at home. Maybe it made him seem more believable and less of a public illusion.

They didn't stay too late. There was still a long drive home, and they obviously realized that Junhong wasn't leaving. They didn't bother asking to drive him home. His mother kissed his cheek as she was leaving, and his father have him a hug.

"We'll get used to it." His brother assured. "He seems nice, and you seem to really love him..."

After they were gone, he found Taeil in the kitchen, washing dishes. He looked up, pulling the plug in the sink and drying his hands. "That seemed okay..."

Junhong wrapped his arms around him, resting his cheek against the top of Taeil's head while being careful to not apply any weight. "Yeah, it went pretty well."

Taeil sighed, rubbing his cheek against Junhong's chest. He pushed his fingers under Junhong's shirt and hooked them around the waistband of his pants. "Wanna get a shower with me?"

Which was almost code for 'lets have sex'. Junhong wasn't sure about that, after everything that happened, less than a week ago. On the other hand, he still hadn't had an opportunity to look at the damage, and he didn't want to pass up this chance.

He nodded, pulling his shirt off while Taeil opened his jeans. "You're wearing a lot more than I am."

Taeil nodded, carefully unbuttoning his waistcoat as he walked to the bathroom. Junhong pulled the curtain along its pole, then started helping Taeil with his shirt. He must have chosen it for ease; it had looser buttonholes than most.

Although a large portion of his back and his right side was dappled with fading bruises, it was a relief to see how healthy he looked otherwise. A line along the inside of his right forearm was stitched from his wrist to almost his elbow, but that was covered in some kind of clear medical wrap, to protect it from water.

"Stop staring at me and kiss me?" Taeil whispered. He wrapped his arms around Junhong, sucked at his bottom lip, and pulled their bodies together.

"We should get clean." Junhong argued gently, though he carefully held on to Taeil, keeping them close.

"I just wanted to relax enough to sleep with you." Taeil confessed. "If you take your time, we could skip the shower till afterward."

"I'll hurt you." Junhong reasoned.

"Junhong, please..." Taeil pressed open-mouthed kisses to his chest. "You won't hurt me. Please..."

It wasn't about how much he wanted Taeil. He did. He always did at moments like these. What mattered was trusting that Taeil was telling the truth and recognizing how desperate he was to be touched, to be shown, again, that he was what Junhong wanted.

That was why Junhong took him to bed. That was why he spent entirely too long preparing him, kissing his bruises as he moved his fingers inside him. He was more careful than ever pushing in, and layered pillows under Taeil's lower back to get the angle right, so he wouldn't need to strain.

But, God, if it wasn't good, nothing ever had been. He held Taeil's hands, kissed him again and again, rolling their bodies together. Taeil arched his back, tangled his legs around Junhong's thighs and used them to pull them tighter together. He held on to Junhong's hands and kissed anywhere he could reach until he couldn't hold on any longer and just let go, gasping and shivering as, this once, they found it together.

Neither cared about a shower after that. They lay tumbled together in the darkness, Taeil's hand against Junhong's chest, over his heart.

"Please don't give up on me." He whispered. "I promise, things will get better soon."

Junhong nodded, lifting Taeil's hand and kissing it. "I know, but I think things are already really good."

Anything better would have to be amazing.


	31. Regrouping

Studio time was their main priority over the next week. Even with Taeil's throat damaged, the tracks needed to be recorded. He was driven, and still a perfectionist where his own performance was concerned. Both Junhong and Kyung watched him and insisted that he take breaks, drink tea, and pace himself. Even so, he sang until he could hardly speak.

On Saturday morning, Taeil was out of bed by three am. Junhong heard him, but only in the vague way that comes while sleeping, so it seemed only moments later that he was fully dressed, kissing Junhong into waking, offering breakfast.

They were at Kyung's studio before four, where Kyung met them in a sweatsuit and a SnapBack, cradling a huge cup of coffee while he worked. By eight, they had enough done that Kyung called them out of the booth.

Jiho had come at some point, and sat in the lounge, looking half-awake. Kyung waved a hand toward a box of pastries. "Jiho brought food. Please have some so I'm not stuck eating everything."

Taeil looked at them, dubiously. He gestured at his neck and shook his head, but offered the box to Junhong. Jiho watched, expressionless, which made his eyes look strangely cruel.

"Now we know what it takes to shut Taeil up..." He said without much feeling. "...strangling him half to death."

Junhong hoped, once again, that Jihoon was wrong about Taeil ever sleeping with Jiho. If there was ever anything between them, Jiho was a world-class dick for treating Taeil the way he usually did. 

Kyung made a bland, displeased sound. "I wonder if strangling would shut you up."

Jiho laughed suddenly. He scooted closer to Kyung. "Probably not, but there are plenty of other ways."

"They never last long." Kyung mock-complained. "And we'll discard any that would interfere with your heart condition or your asthma, because it shouldn't require suffering to make you watch your mouth."

"Like you watch yours?" Jiho rebutted. "If I made you my role-model, would I get better, or-"

The studio door opened, a bit harder than a normal person would push it, but it was Jihoon who came through it, so that was no surprise. Minhyuk followed him inside, much more calmly. Both were genuinely dressed down, in jeans and jackets, and Jihoon had a newsboy hat on rather than styling his hair. He already looked energetic when he entered the building, but grew more so when he saw everyone.

"Good morning!" He hurried through the lounge to hug Taeil, holding on a little too long. "I thought only Kyung would be here this early."

He let go, then turned to Junhong and hugged him, a little too tight, also lingering. Then he was across the lounge, forcing a hug on Jiho. Kyung laughed, watching them. Minhyuk leaned against the wall beside the door, near where he'd had his last conversation with Junhong.

"What did you need?" Kyung asked.

"Nothing." Jihoon grinned down at him. "I just wanted to say hi. We have dad's truck for the day... There's a shop closing close to the border and dad bought out some of his stock, so we're picking it up. I'm already sick of driving."

"Poor Min." Kyung teased, lowering the volume and starting a track, toying with its balance. "I hope you're getting paid for this."

"I am." Minhyuk confirmed.

"Oh, that sounds great." Jihoon enthused, stepping closer to a speaker. "I'm looking forward to the final product. When will it be done?"

"This week." Kyung answered. "I have a real project coming in after that, so we're out of time."

Jihoon make a spectacle of himself after that, pretending to sulk over Jiho's recent coldness, which made Taeil and Kyung laugh more than seemed sane, then Jihoon and Minhyuk left, taking the box of pastries with them, and Taeil and Junhong followed soon after.

Taeil had an appointment with his doctor at ten. The office was stunningly classy (a reminder that Jihoon had chosen this doctor and was paying the bill), and Taeil only waited a few minutes before he was seen.

The doctor didn't question Junhong coming in with him. He listened to Taeil's heart and his breathing, checked his temperature and blood pressure, looked down his throat with a light, and examined his bruises and his stitches.

Finding them healing well, he gathered a few things and removed the stitches, then asked Taeil to gently move his arm to test the scar before it was put back in its brace. He was satisfied with the closure, pleased with the condition of his bones, but fussed over his throat.

In the end, they agreed to have a specialist look at it, though Taeil admitted to singing for two hours. The nurses gave Taeil a bottle of pills and a throat spray, set up the appointment, and walked them out. It took less than an hour, all together.

The office was within a few blocks of Himchan's apartment, so they stopped there rather than going directly home. It was shortly after eleven, and Junhong had been feeling neglectful of his friends.

Himchan answered the door in his pajamas, looking sleep-tousled and bemused. He stepped outside when he saw them, looked down at his clothing, and awkwardly invited them inside.

"Coffee?" He led them to his kitchen without waiting for an answer. His coffee wasn't as high quality as Taeil's, but it still smelled wonderful as he ground the beans.

He was setting up his coffeemaker when Yongguk joined them in the kitchen, his hair was a riot of waves and he was wearing lounge pants without a shirt. Junhong raised an eyebrow as he checked the rice maker and set a skillet on the stove to begin cooking eggs and bok choy.

Himchan didn't even try to explain. He laid out five plates, and scooped rice onto them, then poured coffee into three mugs, putting juice in two tumblers. Then Jongup wandered out of Himchan's bedroom, barely dressed but still smiling innocently, and started moving things to the table.

Himchan cleared his throat, looking guilty. Junhong tried to think of something to say. Taeil giggled, a bit scratchy, but genuinely amused.

"Well...that's something I've never done."


	32. Thanks for the beer

On Monday evening, while recording final touches for the EP, Junhong received a telephone call from one of the dance studios he'd previously contacted. The talent manager explained that she had spoken with his dance instructor and attended his recital, and would like to have him audition. Before he finished recording, they agreed to meet at his school dance room on Thursday, along with his instructor.

Luckily, he had several choreography arrangements memorized, and didn't need to create something new. He considered his options, and decided to update something he knew well with a few more challenging moves. While plotting this out in vocal class, Junhong contemplated the blessing of his still having passing marks at all. He'd spent so much of the semester distracted, exhausted, or just not present, it seemed an act of God.

Through his classes on Wednesday, he worried about Taeil again. It was the first day of rehearsing with the new troupe, and Junhong kept expecting him to push himself too far; to hurt himself. Yet, when they met after class, Taeil was cheerful and seemed energetic. He had the radio tuned to something that sounded French, and leaned to kiss Junhong at the first stoplight.

Junhong smiled. "So, how was your day?"

"My day was fine, but I was horrible." He declared. "They still liked it, which means they're either a miserably untalented group or they can see potential in me, even when I sound like a dying animal."

"They probably saw your potential." Junhong tucked a hand over one of Taeil's. "Besides, the new medicines seem to be helping, and even without them, I don't think you're capable of 'horrible'."

"Mm, you're sweet." Taeil hummed pleasantly. "Except you know better. You've seen me be horrible."

Junhong leaned over and kissed Taeil's shoulder where his sleeveless shirt left it exposed. "I don't think so."

"Too kind." Taeil glanced sideways at Junhong. He gestured at the radio. "You can change that, if you want. I just heard a song I liked on the way to the school and was too lazy to do anything after it ended..."

Junhong began browsing the satellite radio, occasionally listening through a few songs. He and Taeil laughed at some of the more bizarre music they found, and Taeil was still giggling when they walking into the foyer of his building. He'd been using the lift since his return home from the hospital, but looked toward the stairs more often each day.

He chose the lift, again. Against Junhong's better judgement, they had agreed to have Kyung and Jiho over for dinner that evening. He enjoyed Kyung as much as ever, maybe even more, but Jiho still annoyed him, especially after what Jihoon had said.

Inside the flat, Junhong started rice in the steamer and helped Taeil lay out a wild vegetable salad and grilled chicken they'd picked up at the market. It was the kind of dinner Himchan would serve with wine, but Taeil had beer in the refrigerator, swearing that both Jiho and Kyung would prefer it.

Their timing was almost perfect. The doorbell chimed throughout the flat when the steamer had only five minutes left and the chicken was still hot and moist under the broiler. Junhong heard Taeil and Kyung chatting as he laid out plates - still at the sitting area - where they had placed a little coffee table that Jihoon brought.

Neither he nor Taeil had bothered clearing Junhong's class work from the side of Taeil's desk, or his hoodie from where it lay folded over the piano bench. Jiho spotted both immediately. "Looks like someone's made himself at home. Have you moved him in already?"

Taeil shrugged. "Maybe when his lease expires at the end of the month. God knows, I can't reach anything around here. It would be nice to have someone who can change the lightbulbs."

Kyung laughed. "That's why I keep captain kitty, the casual creep."

Jiho looked shocked for a moment, his eyes going wide and his jaw dropping, though the corners of his mouth turned up. "You did not-"

"Of course." Taeil interrupted, as if Jiho hadn't spoken. "I'm sure you don't enjoy the blowjobs."

Which made Junhong think about what Jihoon had said, again. He didn't want Taeil to know anything about Jiho's blowjobs. He watched Kyung shrug and Jiho boggle at the two men surrounding him. 

They settled down to dinner with the EP dominating conversation, once again. Kyung laid out a few graphic designs, offering them up as prospective covers for Junhong. They had agreed upon naming it 'Move' - a purposeful double meaning - since most of the tracks were designed with both mood and danceability in mind.

Junhong looked over the designs, smiled, and looked back up to Kyung. "Nice... These look really cool. Who made them?"

Kyung gestured toward Jiho, who averted his eyes. "My partner in crime likes to pretend he doesn't care, but he volunteered to do this."

"Guilt." Taeil declared. "He knows I've been right all along."

Junhong laughed and nodded in agreement. "Thank you, hyung."

"Wrong." Jiho intoned. He glared at Taeil. "I'm not motivated by guilt. Ever."

"Kissing up, then." Taeil decided. "He wants me to forget what a shithead he's been."

"What?" Jiho sounded like a wronged teenaged boy. "Me? You're the one who-"

"Oh, I'm the one who did what, exactly?" Taeil kicked Jiho's foot, though without any real force. "Put up with you? Tried to explain?"

"You're so annoying." Jiho declared. He turned to Kyung. "Isn't he annoying?"

"You're both annoying." Kyung offered, as if it were a placation. "And I love you both. In different ways, clearly."

"Thanks for that." Taeil agreed. He began gathering dishes.

"Were you going to help him?" Kyung asked Jiho. He had mockups of the album jacket in one hand, ready to show Junhong.

"No, but I guess I'd better." Jiho stood, piling and taking away everything Taeil had left.

"That's another reason why I keep you!" Kyung fake-praised.

From the kitchen, Taeil declared: "blowjobs!"

Kyung grinned, not even blushing. He began explaining the differences between different styles of album jackets, trying to get a feel for what Junhong would prefer. Meanwhile, Taeil and Jiho were laughing in the kitchen.

Once they'd ironed out the lyrics, the acknowledgements, and the legal fine-print, Kyung excused himself to the bathroom. Junhong took his and Kyung's glasses to the kitchen, where he found the dishes done, Taeil perching on the counter, and Jiho leaning on his elbows nearby, talking quietly.

Jiho looked up as Junhong approached. "The old man is getting tired. I should probably drag Kyung home before Taeil falls asleep on us."

"Who's sleeping on me?" Kyung wandered in.

Junhong smirked. "Apparently Taeil."

"Ooh. Swinging." Kyung enthused. He looked Taeil over in a ridiculously greasy way. "That could be interesting."

Jiho snickered, straightening up from where he'd been slumped against the counter and pushing his back toward Taeil. Taeil immediately grabbed hold of him, pretending to be shackles around his arms and chest, and Jiho pulled him off the counter.

"We should go home." Jiho told Kyung.

"With or without your baby oppa backpack?" Kyung asked.

"Without. He's heavy." Jiho excused. He faked a convulsion, grabbing his own chest and dropping to a crouch. "Little fatty killed me..."

"Asshole." Taeil slid off his back. "I'm light these days."

Junhong stepped forward, wrapping his arms around Taeil, still laughing. "Too light!"

"It's true, you were a lot thicker back in the day." Jiho said, a bit too meaningfully. He and Kyung retrieved their shoes, thanking Taeil and Junhong for the dinner - or in Jiho's case, the beer.

When they were finally gone, Taeil locked up. He paused awkwardly when he was done, looking at Junhong's shoes lined up by the mat. "You know... You really are welcome to move in when your lease is up. I know it's probably moving too fast, but... I love when you're you here with me..."

Junhong smiled, a bit less enthusiastic than he normally would. "I'd like that." He really did want to move in and it was really nice hearing Taeil offer. However, part of Junhong's mind was occupied, still stuck considering Taeil, Jiho, and what did or didn't happen.

Taeil reached up, briefly framing Junhong's face with his hands, then brushing through his hair. "Hey... What's this? Usually I'm the one who acts weird."

Junhong shrugged, biting his lip. "I guess I was just surprised to see you on the counter? You still can't even sit at the table..."

"What?" Taeil seemed genuinely confused. He looked toward the kitchen. Realization began to visibly dawn upon him. "Oh god. Jihoon got to you, didn't he?"

Junhong tucked his hands into the pockets of his jeans and tilted his head slightly. "He said some things, yeah..."

"A lot of things, probably." Taeil managed to fit his fingers in with Junhong's. "Jihoon rarely stops at 'some'. What did he say that's bothering you?"

Junhong laced his fingers with Taeil's. "How'd you get up on the counter?"

Taeil stared at him, looking deep in thought. He crowded closer. "Listen... If you were Jihoon, I'd say something mean. It's what I do anymore, because he lives in a funny world with nonstandard rules and sometimes it's less frustrating to be an asshole than it is to make him understand."

"...but you're not Jihoon. So, I used Jiho's leg as a step. Which sounds like something only a little kid would do, but it's what I did." Taeil looked a bit embarrassed. He sighed. "You know, Jihoon is wrong about this topic. I never did anything with Jiho. We've always had a screwed up friendship, without anything big to complicate it. Besides, Jiho and Kyung have been more in love than they've admitted for years, which is something I understand really well."

"Poor Jihoon." Junhong briefly kissed Taeil before pulling back again and smiling. "He had no idea what he was losing."

"Yeah. He missed out on all this." Taeil joked. He rested his head against Junhong's chest. "Living with a dubiously employed older man with baggage. What a prize."

"Quit that." Junhong pushed Taeil's head back a little, making him meet his eyes. "Why do you say things like that? You know I love you, right?"

"I know..." Taeil murmured. "And I'm glad you do. I guess I just throw all my worries out and hope you'll remind me they aren't all real?"

"They aren't." Junhong slid his hands down Taeil's sides and back, fitting them over his bottom and pulling him closer. "You know I think you're talented, and cute, and cool, and sexy..."

"...and you're sweet, gorgeous, amazing..." Taeil pulled Junhong down for an open-mouthed kiss and rolled with it when Junhong tugged their bodies tighter together. "...and I always love you, but I really want you right now."

But Taeil pushed against his chest and being a gentleman, Junhong backed up a few steps, smiling at him. "That's a funny thing to say before pushing me away."

Taeil ghosted his fingers over Junhong's lips, following the same path he often licked. At the same time, he dragged his other hand down Junhong's chest, over his abdominal muscles, to undo the button closure on his jeans. "Bed, Bath, Couch, Chair, or Floor?"

A few of his options were places they hadn't tried having sex yet, and at least one had a singular, strong memory already connected to it. Junhong tried to factor in Taeil's injuries while still choosing something new. "Is the bath okay for your arm?"

Taeil tugged Junhong's shirt up and leaned down to kiss his stomach. He glanced up through his eyelashes, then backed away, toward the bathroom. "My arm is fine. Come on."

Having made his decision, Junhong couldn't keep his hands to himself. He held Taeil's hip on the way to the bathroom, and pulled their bodies together when Taeil bent to plug the tub, start the water, and sprinkle a handful of salts. Taeil glanced backward, biting his lower lip, eyes wide.

Junhong stopped him from gathering the curtains back, turning him until they were face to face. Taeil was wearing the belt that Junhong had previously found impossible to open, along with a black sleeveless top and silvery leather pants.

He pulled his shirt up a little, and Junhong slipped his hands over smooth skin, lifting the shirt the rest of the way off. Most of the bruises had faded away, leaving just a dark spray of color over Taeil's abused rib and mottling on his neck.

What was most altered was the number of visible ribs. Taeil had lost so much weight during the week he couldn't eat, Junhong had to stop himself from fussing. He ducked out of his tee shirt when Taeil pulled it upward, then bent to kiss the diamond tattooed at the top of Taeil's chest.

The belt was still a challenge. Junhong kissed down the center of Taeil's chest as he pulled it forward and twisted the buckle, but the mechanism didn't release. Taeil laughed, slipping free and dropping to his knees. He opened Junhong's jeans quickly and pushed them over his thighs at the same time as taking Junhong's dick into his mouth.

"Ah!" Junhong grabbed the side of the tub, so he wouldn't grab Taeil's head. He watched the water flow and rise, certain his knees would give out as Taeil did something impossible, opening his throat and pulling Junhong's dick so far in that he was swallowing around him.

Taeil eased back. Junhong gasped a deep breath, massaging the back of Taeil's neck, until he pulled him back in and dragged the roughest part of his tongue along the sensitive underside of Junhong's dick, all the way back out to the head.

"Taeil..." He barely managed to form the word.

Taeil pulled away, reaching to stop the water. He tugged his belt away from his stomach and twisted the mechanism free, making it look easy, then opened his pants. "Please help with these." He got to his feet, letting Junhong slide his long hands into the space between the leather and his hips.

Taeil had said the pants were old, but they fit almost perfectly. They clung to Taeil's thighs as Junhong pushed them down. As long as he was on the floor, he kissed the inside of Taeil's thigh, where he knew it was sensitive.

Taeil leaned down to kiss him, carefully stepping free of his pants. He toyed with Junhong's curls, kissing his jaw, his ear. "You need to get in first... I'm gonna be on your lap."

The water was just a little hot, but it felt good. Junhong still couldn't help feeling awkward, though. He didn't know what he should do with his legs.

Taeil grinned at him. "You can move them later, you know. I won't force you to hold that pose."

Junhong reached for him; steadied him as he crawled into the tub and crept closer. Whatever was in the salts they'd used, it made the water fragrant and slightly oily. Taeil's skin felt slick under Junhong's hands.

He pressed his body against Junhong's; slid his arms around Junhong's neck and kissed him, edging in until his knees were placed around Junhong's hips. He hadn't filled the tub as high as the last time they were in it together, but the water was still above their waists.

Junhong had long since lost any reservations were Taeil's body was concerned. He slid his palms down the curve of Taeil's back, over his bottom, to the backs of his thighs. The position was a little challenging, but his long fingers could still reach. Taeil made a soft sound, almost lost in their kiss, and let more of his weight settle against Junhong.

It probably shouldn't feel so good to do something so dirty. Preparing Taeil was an unexpected pleasure; because while it provided no physical reward to Junhong, it could drag a powerful response from Taeil. Junhong moved his fingers inside Taeil, felt him arch his back and press against his hand, heard him exhale shuddering breaths.

"Oh... That's good enough..." Taeil kissed him again, reaching between them to stroke Junhong's already achingly hard dick. He shifted up off Junhong's chest again and lined them up, biting Junhong's shoulder and working himself down until he was sitting in his lap.

His expression was completely unguarded when he lifted his head, caught on the threshold between pleasure and pain. Junhong pressed his fingers against the lean muscle of Taeil's lower back, kneading, trying to reduce the pain.

Then Taeil started moving again, his entire body a tightly strung instrument, rhythm played from thigh to abdomen through back, rolling his hips down as Junhong pushed up. They fit together tighter than Junhong had come to expect, more friction in each movement without real lube, but somehow the burn was good.

Taeil moaned, grabbing the sides of the tub to get leverage, pushing himself down harder, and it was overwhelming. The sensuality of the water, the tightness of Taeil's body around him, the sight of him moving so fluidly... So small but strong, so alive.

Taeil's hands slipped and Junhong looped an arm around him, helping him move with even more power, pulling him down into each thrust, driven by instinct. Giddy, uncontrollable hunger gathered in Junhong's abdomen, pushing him upward harder, faster.

Taeil's fingers dug into his shoulders, clenching too hard as he rode out Junhong's orgasm. Taeil was also visibly close, hovering at the edge, but not quite falling. Junhong held him, feeling wrung out and sated, but no less concerned. He knew his erection was spent, and let Taeil direct his hand; stroked Taeil's dick between them; watched him shift restlessly...

"Can I try something?" Junhong kept fisting Taeil's dick, though languidly.

Taeil helplessly pushed into his hand. "Mmm, yeah... Anything you want..."

With a little effort, Junhong popped the plug from the tub with his toes, so he didn't need to reach. He pushed Taeil into the higher end of the basin, let the high rise of the tub support his back at a comfortable incline, and pulled his hips forward a little.

Taeil held on where he'd been put as Junhong kissed a path down his side, following the receding water, bypassing his nipple ring but lingering at the joint of his hip, then the inside of his thigh. It was his first try, but he tried to remember some of the things Taeil had done for him; licked the underside of Taeil's dick before drawing it into his mouth.

Thankfully, he'd never been one to gag. He still took his time, shielded his teeth with his lips, and didn't try to get too much in his mouth at once. It was surprisingly enjoyable, Taeil smelled and tasted clean, after all, and the silky texture of his skin and the hard length and strong pulse of his dick felt alien but good against Junhong's tongue.

And then there was Taeil's reaction. He kept shivering and panting, his hands restless, grabbing tub and shoulders and hair. Junhong slid a hand up, thumbing the nipple ring at the same time as sucking, and Taeil made a sound he'd never made before. He frantically pushed Junhong off him, gasping helplessly as he came, shielded by his own hand.

Junhong ran warm water over them while Taeil tried to catch his breath; washed away the mess and wrapped them in a towel. He couldn't resist throwing Taeil's quip back at him as he tucked the warm cloth close. "Are you okay?"

Taeil clung to him inside the towel, shuddering and tender. He ducked his head against the crook of Junhong's shoulder, his voice tiny and awed. "Nobody's ever done that for me before..."

He could have said the same thing, weeks ago when Taeil finally gave in and let him stay over, when he'd utterly changed Junhong's ideas of pleasure in mere minutes, but Junhong had been an explorer, discovering love for the first time.

Taeil was older, more experienced. He knew how to give - so well it was clear he'd done so hundreds of times... Junhong held him tight and all but carried him to bed, tucking them under the sheet together, absolutely dumbfounded.

Taeil usually asked so little. He wanted to give him the world.


	33. "Stop begging my boyfriend for kisses."

Some of his classmates had spoken, off and on, about knowing exactly how they'd done during an audition. It was a skill Junhong had yet to develop, and one he desperately wished he had. With no means to measure, he relentlessly pushed himself.

If there was a boundary where dance was concerned, he was on it. Dance was, after all, the art of throwing oneself into movement and extending will, strength, and dexterity to tailor that movement into a pattern.

The group that came to watch him audition was quiet and attentive. They spoke with his instructor as he danced, showing only small reactions to even his best moves, and when he was finished, they asked him questions he didn't normally associate with dance.

By the time he was done and had showered, he'd thought of at least five reasons the studio might not want to work with him. Human nature includes self-doubt, even when a person tries to be optimistic. He tried to think positive, but left the dance building on autopilot.

Seeing Taeil's car waiting made him feel significantly better. The boot popped open as he walked toward it, and Taeil leaned out the driver's window. "Hi, gorgeous! Wanna put your stuff in the back?"

From inside the car, Jihoon started laughing loudly, and Taeil looked confused for a moment. His ears reddened when he realized how Jihoon had heard what he'd said. 

Junhong deposited his bag in the boot and walked around to the passenger side. "Hey, what's up?" He dropped into his seat and turned to give Taeil a quick kiss. Having heard him laugh, he expected to see Jihoon in the back seat, but he didn't expect to see Minhyuk with him.

Jihoon leaned forward. "Do I get a kiss, too?"

Junhong raised one eyebrow and shrugged. He leaned over the seat and quickly kissed Jihoon's cheek before breaking out in laughter. Jihoon laughed with him, tugging at Minhyuk's shoulder. "Don't leave Minhyuk out! He needs a kiss!"

Taeil snorted. "Stop begging my boyfriend for kisses."

"I'm good." Minhyuk held up his hands in surrender. "My parents kissed me enough to last years."

"That's mean." Jihoon declared. He nudged Minhyuk. "My parents still kiss me, and I still need more kisses."

"You aren't normal." Minhyuk somehow managed to still sound caring.

Junhong smirked at both of them, shook his head, and turned back to Taeil. He seemed to be dressing to avoid cuteness since his drastic weight loss. Junhong rubbed a hand over the rows of zippers diagonally crossing Taeil's thigh. "This is a surprise. What's going on?"

"We're going shopping!" Jihoon all but shouted.

Both Taeil and Minhyuk booed. Minhyuk sounded bored. "You are desperate to spend your parents' money."

Jihoon shrugged. "I earn it. How many sons give up as much as I do for their parents' happiness?"

"Yeah..."~"True." Both Taeil and Minhyuk agreed. Minhyuk elaborated. "I did when I was younger, but I quit long before I was your age."

"Besides..." Jihoon was going to wheedle. His tone went sappy all of a sudden and gave him away. "Sohee is so sweet and kind, she deserves to have nice things for her baby, doesn't she?"

"Oh, that's low." Minhyuk winced. "Using Hye Sohee as an excuse."

Taeil giggled, watching them in the rear view mirror with genuine amusement. He lifted Junhong's hand from his thigh and kissed it. "What d'you think? Should we take Jihoon shopping?"

"Yeah, why not. Besides, it's nice to see you having fun." Junhong brushed his fingers along Taeil's jaw, smiling back at him.

Of course, that meant Jihoon shopped for everyone. He wasn't even subtle about it. Instead, the moment he'd finished arranging delivery of a closet-worth of baby clothes, he put his huge personality and pushiness to use convincing everyone that they needed what he was offering.

They didn't, but Jihoon's version of need was as far afield of normal as his concepts of anything else. At least he chose nice things to foist upon them. He insisted upon buying Taeil clothes 'that fit' and Junhong suddenly 'needed' expensive dance shoes, and Minhyuk was forced to accept a gold necklace that laid close to his collar and made him 'look hot'.

And then they were at the cologne counter, and Jihoon was temporarily lost to the world. He spoke with the saleswoman for a long time, browsing test strips for a variety of scents. When Junhong tried to walk past him to look at vanity glasses, Jihoon grabbed his arm.

"You notice colognes..." He sounded amused with himself as he offered a scented card. "What do you think of this one?"

"Ah..." He looked the card over before sniffing it. It wasn't like the cologne Junhong had come to accept as Jihoon's, but it smelled equally expensive and oddly alluring. "It smells really good actually."

Jihoon grinned. He tightened his hold on Junhong's arm. "But, is it sexy."

"Uh... Yes?" He smelled it again and nodded.

Jihoon lowered the card, leveling an inappropriately intense look on Junhong. "You don't sound sure..." He nudged Junhong with his shoulder. "Why aren't you sure?" Another nudge, rolling a little so it was half shoulder, half chest. "Don't you know what you think is sexy, dongsaeng?"

"Well, I think Taeil's usual cologne is sexy..." Junhong laughed. "This one is sexy, though." 

"Taeil's usual cologne?" Jihoon pondered a moment, slinging an arm around Junhong and leaning their heads together, as if he could get answers by osmosis. "Oh, you mean the stuff he puts on his tattoos? Yeah, that smells really good, now he just needs to wear it every day."

"Oh, that's what that is!" With him that close, Junhong could smell both Jihoon's hair products and clothing processes. Both smelled expensive. Like Jihoon. Junhong was coming to terms with the fact that one of many adjectives one could use to describe Jihoon's existence was 'expensive'. Junhong shook his head slightly. "I've never seen him put any kind of fragrance on." 

"We need to change that." Jihoon stage whispered.

Minhyuk was suddenly there, propping his chin on Jihoon's further shoulder. His expression could be used as a weapon in a supernatural war against joy. "Very bored of colognes and cosmetics, darlings. ...and we're losing Taeil."

Which was an exaggeration, but close enough. Taeil was frowning at a display of hand-made hats, about twenty feet away. Jihoon quickly bought the cologne in question and barreled over to Taeil, hauling him off his feet as if he was a plush animal.

"That was exactly my goal." Minhyuk deadpanned, watching critically. He hooked his thumbs in his pockets and walked after Jihoon, staying with Junhong. "You seem to be adapting to the madness very well."

"Yeah, it's not so mad once you get used to it." Junhong shrugged. "Though, to be honest, you and Kyung-hyung make it easier."

Minhyuk shook his head, smiling just enough to accentuate one dimple. "It's still madness. You're just giving in to it. But, thank you... I think. It's a questionable compliment to be grouped with Park Kyung."

Junhong looked at Minhyuk questioningly, though still amused. "Is that so?" 

"I don't want to insult Kyung; he's nice enough, and he has a good heart... You're observant. I think you'll understand when you know Kyung a bit better." The fact that Minhyuk was still smiling somehow softened his statements. "...I'm glad to help... Any time. I'm also very hopeful about your future in dance. That was my passion, when I was younger..."

"Really?" From what Junhong had come to know about Minhyuk, he was a lounge singer who played the piano. He hadn't heard anything about him liking dance, let alone it being a passion. "Why didn't you pursue it?"

"There were a lot of reasons." Jihoon was hauling Taeil toward the exit, and Minhyuk followed. "The most important part was how it made me feel about myself. The first studio I worked with as an adult convinced me to get plastic surgery. They gave me stage shows, but always said I was too ugly to use in videos... Then I tried to make myself 'better looking' and it didn't completely solve the problem. When they suggested a second surgery, I quit."

"Ah. It makes sense to quit at that point." Junhong nodded slowly. "So, what made you want to start working as a lounge singer? Couldn't you go to another dance studio?"

"That really wasn't an option at the time." Taeil and Jihoon were already at the car when Junhong and Minhyuk stepped out of the building, and Taeil was yelling at Jihoon. They both stopped, listening long enough to be sure it was still friendly and nothing was wrong. Minhyuk smiled, wistfully. "I didn't actually decide to 'be a lounge singer'. I was asked to play one weekend and it went well. The club's owner asked if I'd consider doing a full time gig and I said yes. I still dance."

Junhong smiled as well. "Oh, that sounds really nice, actually."

"I'm happy with what I have." Minhyuk grabbed Jihoon as soon as they reached the car and pushed him through one of the back doors. Jihoon laughed and scooted across the seat, trying to drag Minhyuk with him. He settled into his own seat unperturbed.

Junhong got into the front passenger seat and buckled up; Taeil pulled the car away from the shopping center. Nobody said anything about another store, and the route was unfamiliar, but Junhong kept quiet and watched. They didn't stop until they reached the gate of a stunningly modern building. Taeil reached out and keyed a combination into the number pad.

Inside, all the cars made Taeil's BMW look cheap. Jihoon leaned against the back of Junhong's seat, reaching between him and Taeil to point at a Bentley. "Park next to me."

"I know, Jihoon. It's not like I've never been here before." Taeil groused as he parked where he'd been told.

Jihoon laughed. He opened his door, far more cautious than was his norm, hitting Junhong's shoulder at the same time. "Please, don't hit my car."

He waved to security cameras as they approached the entrance to the building, and keyed another code into one of three doors, then they loaded into a copper-paneled lift. Taeil pushed the button for the seventh floor before Jihoon could.

Jihoon nudged Junhong; pointed at a shiny copper panel. "Taeil always stares at himself in this. It's funny. He can't resist." Taeil looked away. He had been staring at his reflection since he pressed the floor button. 

Junhong laced his fingers with Taeil's and smirked at Jihoon. "Says the one who takes any opertunity he can to look at himself." He thought of Jihoon checking his reflection in his watch, a pot in Taeil's kitchen, the vanity mirrors at the shop...

"Aw. I'm just making sure the Pyo family still looks good." Jihoon leaned closer to the same shiny panel, adjusting the way his hair was laying. "You might be surprised to hear this, but I'm not this handsome without careful styling."

Minhyuk rolled his eyes. "You're always handsome, Jihoon. And I've put a lot of money and pain into ensuring I look good, too. Ignore Jiho. None of us are ugly."

"No comment." Taeil mumbled.

Junhong leaned closer to Taeil's side. "I'd say you're the most attractive."

"You're biased." Taeil said softly, but he was smiling. He slipped an arm around Junhong and leaned against his side. He kept his grip on Junhong as they left the lift.

There were only five unit doors on the seventh floor, even though the building had a wide footprint. Jihoon took the lead, keying a third combination into the first door. He pushed it open and gestured inside.

Like Taeil's flat, it had a foyer. Jihoon's was dome-ceilinged and marble-floored, with a fresh arrangement of cut flowers set on an antique table and a single Chippendale chair beside the shoe mat. He breezed through without removing his shoes.

The livingroom gave the illusion of being part of a country manor house. Twenty feet of the far wall was glass, looking out on a container garden full of flowers and miniature trees. A freestanding fireplace stood in the center of the room, surrounded by elegant leather-upholstered furniture.

Bookcases wrapped around one corner of the room, artfully half-full. The opposite corner was a bar with two chairs, looking directly into the kitchen. Each section of the room was defined by rugs that looked like white fur. Taeil glanced at the sitting area, distracted, and tucked closer to Junhong.

"Is anyone thirsty?" Jihoon looked in his refrigerator. "Or hungry? It looks like mom brought a lot of food... I can't eat all this. You all need to stay for dinner."

Minhyuk was texting someone. He didn't look up. "I'll stay. Thanks."

Taeil nodded, absently. He stepped away from Junhong, grabbing his hand and leading him out to the balcony. It was as long as the livingroom and kitchen combined and deep enough to comfortably house all the potted plants, a full bistro set, and a large fountain. The river made a beautiful picture below.

Taeil leaned over, staring down at the water. "I'm sorry if this is weird for you, but I haven't been here since Jihoon and I stopped...doing things together. So, if I'm acting like a freak, it's because I feel really awkward."

Junhong had no idea what to say to that. "Ah, it isn't really that weird..." Though it was a bit awkward.

"God. I'm sorry." Taeil shook his head. He hadn't looked so closed and awkward since before they agreed to try at a relationship. "I'm so stupid. I didn't even ask if you were okay with coming here...and then I say something like that... I don't know what my problem is. Do you wanna go?"

"No... No." Junhong tugged Taeil closer and wrapped his arms around Taeil's waist. "Seriously, it's okay. We can stay."

"But, should we?" Taeil rested his head against Junhong's chest and held on to the back of his shirt. His brows pulled together. "I should be better at putting shit behind me by now, but I'm not. I don't want to ruin this, Junhong. I don't want you to feel like my past gets between us... So, any time I make things weird for you, tell me, so I can stop. I love you so much... I don't want to screw this up."

The balcony door opened again before Junhong could say anything, so he just tightened his hold on Taeil and spoke softly near his ear. "It's okay. Nothing is getting between us. I actually like Jihoon, now that I know him." He still didn't like thinking of Jihoon and Taeil together, though. He probably never would.

"I like you too." Jihoon declared loudly. He hugged them both, simultaneously. "Stop being antisocial and come get food."

Taeil looked like he might argue, but decided against it. They all served themselves bulgogi, rice, and vegetables, took drinks from Jihoon's refrigerator, and sat around the table on the balcony.

They'd barely begun eating when Jihoon started badgering Taeil about the play. "I don't know if you can be a cat, Taeilie... You're more like... A mouse? Definitely not a cat."

"That's why they call it acting, ninny" Taeil sniped. "I actually can act."

Minhyuk waved his chopsticks between them, looking bored by the argument. "Taeil will do fine. My question is: will the production be classic, or an interpretation?"

"It's an adaptation." Taeil admitted. "They could've directly translated it, but why not update it a little?"

"Taeil in a cat suit." Jihoon looked like he was imagining it. His eyes crinkled up.

"Mortifying." Taeil intoned. "At least the costumes aren't going to be spandex. Could you imagine? I'm glad I'm not fat. I just need to stay this size. They already measured me."

"At least 'cats' is sexy." Minhyuk declared, out of the blue. "No opera is sexy."

Junhong nodded before he even realized he was agreeing, and Taeil made a wounded sound. "I knew it. Opera haters, all of you!"

Jihoon pursed his lips at looked at the sky. "...Yeah, all of us. My internship is just a means to an end. I'd like to eventually get into talent management for one of the big music companies..."

"Insanity." Minhyuk decided. "But, you could probably do it."

"Just figure out what you really want before you start chasing illusions." Taeil warned. "You can't treat your life the way you treat your friends. Love something. Be serious."

And that was awkward, all over again. Jihoon looked away, his expressive face giving away regret and pain. He nodded. "...okay, hyung."

"Then you'll do great." Taeil soothed. 

"I will." Jihoon said with entirely too much fervor. "And, since I'm going to do something difficult, maybe you could talk to the police and identify the people who attacked you?"

"Oh...not this again." Taeil groaned.

"This has happened three times, Taeil!" Jihoon argued. "Don't you want to stop it?"

"No, I love getting hospitalized." Taeil shot back, looking both defensive and irritable. "I'm not convinced that looking at a bunch of lineups is going to solve the problem. I'll just drive everywhere. Apparently walking is bad for my health."

"But other people will be attacked." Jihoon reasoned.

"Yeah, I know." Taeil pushed his bowl away, still half full. "There are more angry jerks in the world than anyone can lock away, assuming anyone would lock them away for long. You don't know, Jihoon. People don't call you a 'pervert' or 'unnatural'..."

"No, I lie a lot." Jihoon rebutted. "That isn't the point, Taeil. Don't you want to stop them?"

Minhyuk was watching, completely serious but utterly silent. Junhong barely nodded, reaching for Taeil's hand. Taeil let him mesh their fingers together. He sighed. "Yeah, I do... But what are three people?"

"A start." Minhyuk said softly.

Taeil stared at him, looked at Jihoon and finally Junhong. "Oh... This is gonna suck. I'll do it, but I'll hate all of you."

"We love you." Jihoon said.

"Or, like you a great deal." Minhyuk corrected, and Taeil couldn't help but laugh.


	34. Bizarre Logic Twists

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the two friend groups spend a few hours together....

The highschool auditorium was broiling hot and smelled like too many people's breath, hanging close and unavoidable. Most of the audience was quiet, reserving their cheers for ends of scenes, only there to encourage their children or grandchildren. However, centered in the sea of polite encouragement was the boisterous gang of both Junhong's and Taeil's friends.

Junhong was still a bit sketchy on the details of how Taeil's friends had come to be a part of Himchan's class production, but there they were, the first gathering of both worlds. Himchan was a happy kind of horrified when literally the entire gang turned up, and placed them toward the center back, where he hoped they wouldn't upset anyone.

Jiho was still trying his hardest, mocking the play guide and sets. Yukwon, Sunhye, and Youngjae erred in the opposite end of the spectrum, singing along a bit too loudly whenever they knew the songs. Kyung and Jihoon kept cringing dramatically every time a student turned in a poor performance or an adolescent voice broke on a high note. Daehyun made excessive, loud hype comments whenever a performance was especially good.

Minhyuk, Jaehyo, and Yongguk remained polite, and had they not been seated with the rabble, they might have blended in. Jongup kept leaning one way or another, craning to look over the crowd, attentively watching Himchan direct.

Junhong caught him when he was sitting fairly normally. "Still trying to develop emotional ESP?"

"No, no... It looks like I'm really bad at it, so I just ask a lot of questions." Jongup smiled sweetly. He looked at Taeil, who was chewing his bottom lip and staring at the lead actor, as if willing him to succeed. "How about you?"

Junhong shook his head. "No, but I've been learning to read body language."

"Oh..." Jongup nodded. "That reminds me of an article I read about social cues and physical dominance... The author was a famous psychologist, so she should know what she's talking about, but I thought: what if everyone tried to use her suggestions? Everyone would try to talk first, and loudest, and most aggressive. Eventually, all that hot breath and confrontation would build up extreme heat and it might cause an environmental crisis..."

The bizarre logic twist made Junhong almost laugh out loud during a very serious scene in the play. Minhyuk leaned back from where he was sitting one row ahead of them. He looked at Jongup, perfectly serious. "Have you ever read the physiostasis theory?"

And Junhong thought he should have seen that coming. As differently as they presented themselves, Jongup and Minhyuk thought about many similar things. He leaned back toward Taeil, slipping an arm around him and trying to watch the rest of the play with respect.

Himchan had been right when he called his young actors names. Only two of them seemed to really care about their parts, and one of those took her passion much too far, weeping and simpering onstage. He was relieved when the curtain fell.

After it was over, when the audience and the students had all gone and the last of the volunteer crew was cleaning up the auditorium, Kyung offered to host what he called 'a low key after-party' featuring an advance play through of Junhong and Taeil's finished EP.

All of Junhong's friends ended up a bit further north than their usual daily tracks extended. Kyung lived closer to his studio than Taeil or Jihoon, though only by a few miles. Only three of Taeil's friends stayed. Jihoon did, of course, but even Minhyuk went home, claiming to be 'over the maximum recommended P.O exposure' for the week. Even Jiho, who lived with Kyung, disappeared after they arrived at his home.

The house itself was a gem in Seoul. It was a traditional house that had suffered fire damage and had its interiors fully renovated to something stark and modern, while its exteriors remained antique. Art was everywhere, from vividly colored prints to sculptural furniture, and though the rooms were a bit small, it was cozy.

Kyung served drinks and queued up the EP; passed the case around so everyone could see. Daehyun and Youngjae laughed together at the photo of Junhong that dominated the inner cover of the jacket. He was deeply shadowed, looking upward, his bleached hair damp and curling slightly. It must have been taken from the security camera by the door of the studio, maybe the time he and Taeil had come so early in the morning...

The picture of Taeil that filled the next page had a similar theme. He was perched on the arm of his own couch, backlit by the window, wearing a translucent white shirt that showed his tattoos (and the scar on his arm, if it was looked for). It was extremely recent, and his face was turned almost completely out of sight.

Before the first song had finished, Jihoon began chatting with Himchan. Unlike most people, who respectfully accepted that Himchan was a teacher, Jihoon was extremely enthusiastic. "My highschool music teacher is still my favorite. He was an advocate for me, always listening and understanding."

"You must have impressed him." Himchan deferred. "We don't have the time to properly advocate for all of our students. There are so many."

"Maybe, but I saw you talking to a few of your students. I think you're like he was." Jihoon insisted. He scooted a bit closer to Himchan than was appropriate for people who barely knew each other. "When you were encouraging the boy who played Tony, it reminded me of how Lee sun-seng nim encouraged me."

"He's a very good student." Himchan explained. "He's the kind of kid who always works hard. You saw the difference between his performance and the others'? Even at that, he didn't do his best today, and he was let down with himself."

"And you encouraged him." Jihoon persisted. "Not all teachers do that. It's very respectable."

"Lee-ssi left a strong impact on you." Himchan seemed flattered and understanding.

"Yes." Jihoon agreed. "He encouraged me almost every day, and helped me follow me dreams so much, I almost became an idol."

"Oh no." Himchan looked genuinely concerned. "What stopped you?"

"I have an anxiety disorder." Jihoon excused. "In the end, that made it impossible. I started getting sick."

"Well that's more respectable than what I did." Himchan soothed. "My parents allowed me to work as a youth model. I was considered an ulzzang, but eventually my big mouth and my poor eating habits put an end to that..."

"You are very handsome." Jihoon made a show of looking at Himchan from different angles. "But, I think teaching is nobler and more important than modeling."

"I'm sure it is..." Himchan agreed.

"Modeling pays better." Kyung observed.

"If you're beautiful, thin, and discreet." Himchan corrected.

"Not the job for me then." Taeil butted in. "Good thing I can be plain, thick, and offensive and still act."

Junhong made a face at him; shook his head. "You're cute, and thin."

"Yeah, yeah. The 'thin' part took an act of God." Taeil insisted. He perched on the arm of Junhong's chair and kissed him the way he would at home, a little deeper than he usually did in front of friends. Junhong went with it, though he was relieved when Taeil kept it short. Taeil looked at him, meaningfully. "I'm trying to be completely honest with myself these days."

"Speaking of which..." Kyung raised his voice. "You're all our test audience. What are your honest opinions of the album? Don't let friendship get in the way of criticism, this is a chance for Junhong and Taeil to learn, since we're going to market this album."

The next half hour was a discussion of the strengths and weaknesses in the musical combination. Junhong expected stark honesty from his friends, so he was surprised when almost everything they said was glowingly positive. Jihoon's colorful compliments came as no great surprise, though.

Himchan was especially impressed with the way they combined styles. He, of course, noticed the interweaving of trot, blues, jazz, and traditional instrumental music in the mix. He shushed everyone and searched through the songs to play a few measures of Junhong rapping the lead with Taeil backing him up with peppy scat.

"You two make strange music." Youngjae decided. He stood up when Jihoon and Himchan booed him. "BUT, good music! I'm just saying it isn't what you hear on the radio every day. That doesn't mean I don't like it."

Taeil laughed, looping an arm around Junhong and leaning against him. "I think that describes us pretty well, in general."


	35. "You make this costume look sexy"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter!!!

Byun sun-seng nim was in her office when Junhong found her, all of her bookcases cleared out for summer break and a few of her ever-present file cases stacked neatly against one wall. She still had a sleek little stereo system on a stand behind her desk, and speakers spaced out around the room.

She took the finished EP directly from its case and started it playing, leafing through Taeil's final report as the first song filled the room with sound. "This is already selling?"

Junhong nodded. "Should we have waited?"

"No. This is exciting. It could mean big things are ahead for you." She lifted her mobile phone from the desk and tapped at it for a few seconds. "You have a few reviews online..."

"We do?" Junhong leaned forward; stopped himself. He made a mental note to look that up later.

"You've been mentioned on a lot of web forums recently." She set her mobile back down. "Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?"

Junhong thought he knew where she was going. "Go ahead."

"Are you really involved with Taeil-ssi?" He'd guessed right. At least she was being polite about it. She hurried to explain. "I apologize for being unprofessional, but so much has been published recently about him... My sister Seoyun suggested I include Taeil in the project, and I honestly didn't know how he would do."

Junhong recognised the name Seoyun, Jaewon's wife, who Jihoon had described as sweet and caring. "Ah... yes. We really are together." Junhong thought it shouldn't be bad to admit, since it was in the news anyway.

She nodded for a long time, possibly absorbing the underlying implications of what he'd admitted. "May I ask after his health?"

"He's doing better everyday." Junhong smiled. "He still works very hard, and the 'Cats' performance opens in two weeks. You should get tickets."

"I think I will. I have doubts about my brother in law attending, but I'll bring Seoyun." The song ended and another began. It was one of the most complicated tracks on the disc, and she was quiet for a few minutes, listening.

She didn't require that he stay for the full length of the EP, and left him feeling that he would likely score well in her class. He went back to his tiny apartment in a good mood, and felt even better when he got there. Almost everything was separated into boxes and carry bags. Between Taeil, Himchan, and Yongguk, every box had been labeled to reflect its contents, and nothing had been left loose.

All that remained was his bedroom, which had been steadily emptying since Taeil came home from the hospital, due to Junhong basically living at the flat. He didn't need to keep his tiny bed, or even the narrow chest of drawers housing his remaining clothes.

He was emptying the last drawer when Jihoon barged in. "This place is so small!"

"Ah, yeah." Junhong shrugged. His entire apartment could probably fit on Jihoon's balcony. "College students don't have much stuff. Especially college students from out of town."

"It's cute, though." Which was giving it too much credit. Jihoon looked at the carefully stacked boxes. "Is this really all you own? We need to shop."

Junhong smiled, though a bit ornery. "You always want to shop." 

"I'm like Santa Claus." Jihoon nodded. "Only younger, better looking, and a lot more stylish. ...I brought the truck, and Minhyuk... Can we start taking these boxes?"

Junhong shrugged slightly. "Yeah. Let's get started."

It was good to have the last minute help, no matter how unlikely the work ethic. Junhong was expected to turn in his key within the next three days, and the idea of transporting all of his belongings in Taeil's car from his old apartment to the flat was extremely undesirable.

To his surprise, less than an hour later, the three of them had loaded everything. He stopped at the office and turned in his key, thanked the building manager for the year he lived there, and left. Minhyuk scooted to the middle of the seat for the drive and then they did it all again, in reverse.

By the time they had half of his things unpacked and the rest stacked in Taeil's 'utility' room, pizza had been delivered and they all sprawled on the floor to eat. Jihoon was in surprisingly high spirits for a spoiled young man who had just helped to move a boyfriend into his x-lover's home.

"You still haven't shown us the costume." Jihoon complained at Taeil. He nudged both Junhong and Minhyuk, as if they might help him make his case. "Look how hard we all worked. You should put on the costume for us."

"The pizza and beer are for how hard you all worked." Taeil argued. "You're the only one who wants to humiliate me."

"It shouldn't be humiliating. You're going to wear it in front of audiences." Minhyuk reasoned, suddenly taking an interest. "Which character are you playing?"

Taeil sighed. "They gave me Mr.Mistoffelees..."

Minhyuk set his bottle down. "That's a huge role. Taeil!"

"Show us, show us!" Jihoon chanted.

"I'm sure he doesn't have it here." Minhyuk reasoned.

"Aw!" Jihoon somehow managed to get even louder. "Show us a picture, then."

Junhong knew the costume was there, but didn't share that fact. He watched Taeil struggle; remembered how Jihoon had said Taeil always gave in when pushed. Taeil sighed dramatically. "Okay. Here's what I'll do. You all surrender your phones and I'll show it to you. Deal?"

He held out his hands to Jihoon and Minhyuk and they both turned over their mobile phones without a word. Both looked excited as Taeil went to the bedroom closet and closed himself inside. Nobody even dared to make a joke.

Taeil was gone for a long time; so long that Junhong wondered if he was playing a trick on them, then he called out. "If anyone laughs, I'll seriously never speak to him again. You're all warned."

So, Jihoon had been right, again. Taeil hadn't even shown Junhong the costume yet, but Junhong generally tried not to push him. The closet door opened and Taeil walked quietly to the livingroom. He looked nervous, his head ducked, but there was no reason for nerves. The costume had been completely reinvented.

Rather than white ruffles and speckled spandex, it was leather and fur. The pants and jacket were supple black leather, and there were white leather gloves and tall white boots, along with a white fur scarf. He had cat ears, but they were part of a headband rather than a wig, and looked inexplicably cute set into Taeil's tousled hair.

The tail was the simplest, and silliest part. Jihoon caught hold of it. "Cat Taeil... You wear special makeup for the part, don't you? Show us-"

"Not today, no." Taeil pulled the tail out of Jihoon's grip. "You can see that at the show."

Minhyuk nudged Jihoon. "We don't have time for makeup, anyway. I work in less than two hours."

Jihoon didn't hide his disappointment. He sulked as the others cleared boxes and bottles, and took his time putting his shoes back on. When he and Minhyuk were finally out the door, Taeil leaned his back against it, extending his arms to his sides.

The gesture would have been cute under normal circumstances. In costume, it was theatrical. Junhong hooked two fingers in Taeil's belt and pulled him closer.

Taeil smiled up at him. "...Hey..."

"Hi..." Junhong slipped an arm around him. The leather was already butter soft from Taeil's body heat. "You make this costume look sexy."

"Do I?" Taeil giggled. He looped his arms around Junhong's neck, shifting up to the tips of his toes.

Junhong nodded, tilting his head down for a kiss. His hands were drawn downward, Taeil's bottom even more inviting than usual in close-fitting, glove-thin leather. "Really, really sexy."

"Maybe I should take it off?" Taeil murmured meaningfully.

Junhong automatically moved toward the bedroom, keeping his hands on Taeil as he went. "I think that's a good idea..." He unzipped the leather jacket and pushed it off Taeil's shoulders, leaving it and the scarf on the livingroom floor as he backed into the bedroom. He leaned down to kiss as they went and dropped ungracefully onto the bed, letting Taeil push him backward and crawl over him.

Though far leaner than they were the first time Junhong touched them, Taeil's thighs still felt muscular. Junhong slid his palms over them, only breaking contact when Taeil stripped away his tee shirt.

Taeil kissed his chest as he bared it, working his way upward to mouth across a shoulder and follow the rise of Junhong's collarbone to his neck. He carefully unzipped Junhong's jeans, rubbing his dick through the denim.

Junhong rolled them over, shimmying out of his jeans and underwear as he went. He pressed down on Taeil's shoulders, watched him go still. He looked comfortable even though he'd basically surrendered, even with the hunger still in his expression. Shirtless, wearing gloves and boots with his leather pants, he might have looked tough, if not for the ears and tail.

Even so, "...really sexy."

Taeil laughed. His fingers curled into the blankets, but he remained still, otherwise. Junhong took the chance to look him over again, to slide his hands down Taeil's sides and feel his ribs just under the skin, barely covered by a thin layer of muscle.

The bruises were completely healed, the scar on his arm pink and pearlescent. Junhong lifted that arm off the bed, peeling away the glove and kissing the inside of Taeil's wrist, just above the three sevens inked there. He pushed it back down against the bed and did the same with the other, then leaned down over Taeil to kiss his neck.

He could feel Taeil's pulse under his lips. Kissing lower, down his tattooed sternum, he lingered where Taeil's heart seemed strongest, where each breath he took was audible and palpable.

Taeil had changed his nipple ring. It was the first time he'd done that since Junhong had been allowed to see it. He slid one fingertip over the flat, gold sunburst that now surrounded Taeil's nipple, comparing it to the plain silver hoop that had been there before.

The reaction was exactly the same. Taeil shuddered and gasped, pulled one leg closer to himself like a doll strung too tightly. Junhong slid his hand down Taeil's leg and unbuckled his boot, tossing it toward the corner. He let Taeil relax again, taking a moment to remove the other boot.

The ring had been a distraction from the moment he noticed it, and Junhong was vaguely amazed when he realized that he'd never even touched Taeil's non-pierced nipple. He shifted over Taeil, exhaling against his skin and closing his mouth over it.

The reaction was more subtle. Taeil inhaled deeply; pushed his lower body off the bed, searching for more contact. Junhong shifted back to the other side and he curled inward, gripping Junhong's hips with his thighs.

It was harder to push his legs back down, but Taeil allowed it. The costume's pants were brilliantly cut, allowing for full flexibility while hugging close. Junhong followed the inseam with his palms and Taeil let his legs fall further open. He stared, intense, breathing quick and shallow as Junhong stroked him through the leather.

"Junhong..." He whispered, and Junhong understood. He unbuttoned Taeil's fly and slid his pants and underwear down his legs and off. Taeil reached for him as he crawled back onto the bed with the lube in hand, pulling him in for more kisses. "I love you so much..."

Junhong kissed away from his mouth, found a spot below Taeil's ear and bit the tendon, just enough to send a thrill of adrenaline without leaving a mark. At the same time, he pushed slick fingers into Taeil's body.

Taeil's grip on Junhong tightened. He arched his back; pulled a leg back up, and kissed Junhong as deeply and as dirty as he knew how. Junhong took his time, watching the effect just three fingers could have. All he had to do was curl them the right way and push and Taeil shivered and gasped.

Taeil moaned softly. "Do you like this? Because I want you right here." He tugged, trying to bring their bodies closer together.

And really, that was what Junhong wanted too. He shifted over Taeil, kissing him and pushing his thighs gently toward his chest. Taeil's flexibility made it simpler, folding him almost in half and sliding into the empty space, easing into him slow and sweet. The position changed the way their bodies usually aligned, changed the pressure and the resistance, and even if Junhong thought he could maintain anything with Taeil's body clinging so tightly, he didn't know if Taeil could breathe.

When he hesitated, Taeil twisted underneath him, turning partly on his side with one leg crossed over Junhong's while the other went under, and Junhong sunk deeper. He held on to Taeil's thigh, using it for leverage, and rocked his hips.

They moved together then, no rush, Junhong's hands slipping over Taeil's skin, bringing him down into each push. He felt along Taeil's ribs again, all the way to the subtle indent at his inner hip then inward, dragging a thumb along the faint line at the center of his abdomen. Shifting his hips as he was, the concave curve of his lower back was even more beautiful than usual. Junhong fit one hand there.

He still felt too far from Taeil. 

"Can we...? Maybe..." Junhong leaned over Taeil, found more kisses waiting. He savored them, making them sweeter, even if his dick was moving inside Taeil. "Do you feel like sitting up?"

Taeil nodded. He groaned when Junhong pulled out of him; held on when Junhong pulled him up from where he'd been lying. He pushed Junhong's back into a pile of pillows and straddled him, taking him deep again.

And that was perfect. Taeil was right where he fit best, in the circle of Junhong's arms, shifting in his lap, urgently kissing his jaw and neck and shoulders. Slim as he'd become, Junhong could move him with one arm, helping him lift himself up and drive down.

Taeil looked nearly transcendent, his grip bordering on painful where he clung to Junhong's shoulders. He dropped his head to Junhong's neck, mouthing sloppy kisses there and panting against damp skin.

Junhong kept moving, kept pushing. They were both sweat-slick and breathless, desperately close and still holding on to a shared rhythm, but he knew he couldn't last much longer. And then Taeil's breathing changed; he pushed himself down on Junhong with desperate urgency, whimpering softly. His body tightened down, tremors wracking through him, pulling Junhong with him into climax.

Taeil didn't move for a few minutes. His arms were folded around Junhong's shoulders, his face tucked against Junhong's collar. He was shivering, like he always did when his climax came too powerfully, so Junhong rubbed his back to help him find himself again.

The room was still bright, evening still sunny outside the windows. Taeil moved his head, sucked salt from Junhong's shoulder and carded his fingers through bleach-blonde curls. Neither was in a hurry to separate, though half the shelves in the room stood empty, waiting for Junhong's collectibles, and a box of his basics was open by the closet door.

When Taeil finally lifted his head, both he and Junhong saw that the cat-eared headband had somehow stayed in place through everything. He pulled it out of his hair, smiling at Junhong like this was a special secret just for them. "I'll think about this every time I wear it, you know... ...I'll think about you and feel more confident."

"I'm glad." Junhong curled his fingers around Taeil's, looking at the way even their hands fit perfectly together. He realized then how far he'd come in just one semester. His life had changed completely, following a path that could have utterly destroyed him, but somehow made him happier instead.

He pulled Taeil against his chest again, both of them perfectly wrapped around each other and holding on, and nothing bothered him at all. He was perfectly happy, perfectly comfortable.

He finally felt at home in Seoul. 

He had everything he needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We hope everyone loved this story. If you did, please let us know with kudos and comments!
> 
> There's a sequel in the oven, if our readers want to continue exploring Junhong and Taeil and their friends.....

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first collaboration between DigitalDiva and AutumnTribe. Please leave us a comment to let us know how we're doing!


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